Belting out Adele songs to your 27 cats... dating chat thread #5

[lubeybooby]

New one! Off we go :o All kind of dating, chat here.

Time they bloody should do courses on that.

God I'm knackered and aching. The major issue aside, last night was gooooood :o

lubey

We should start running our own courses lubey!.

I'm very pleased to hear that last night was good! Much cheaper and a lot more fun than joining a gym like I would know!!!

time, ive done the ECDL, when i was working for learn direct out in germany. It is a good thing to do, as it does show what level you are at. HOWEVER, dont get too worried about it, as ive not come across hardly anyone who has ever heard of it. Ive had 8 jobs since coming back to the uk. some for NHS trusts, and some within councils. And noone has heard of it.
( dont want to rain on your parade... just thought i would tell you my experiences of it)

also, ive been a bit crap and not said anything to AD yet. I hadnt heard from him in two days, so just assumed he wasnt interested, but he fb'ed me today that his phone was broken.
being the lame cow that i am, we had a bit of a natter and he suggested london, to see all the xmas stuff and eat nice food, mid dec for a second date.
which would be lovely and all... but would mean that where would be about 7 weeks between the first and second date anyway?!?!?!?!? how weird is that?

thats weird, isnt it?

Watch yup, that is not exactly keen is it.
Time you make me laugh out loud with your comments

Thanks watch

I had never heard of it either and nor have I applied for any jobs which specify it as a requirement so was very surprised when the jobcentre said it is in demand by employers. I'm just pleased to be something with my time to be honest, using my brain, and it can't do any harm having it on my CV. I've also signed up for maths as it was 31 years a go since I did my maths exams! My qualifications are ancient so I thought I could only benefit from that too. PLUS, major plus, it will hopefully come in handy when helping DD with her homework!!

As for AD, I do love the sound of that second date and if it were me I would be going, just for the day out, it sounds fab! I wouldn't how long between dates it was for a day out like that. But I lead a sheltered life here so feel free to ignore me, you might have fab days out like that all the time

But you haven't had the first date yet have you? Does that mean the date that is going to cost you £40 still stands? Can't you do the fab second date first and then dump him

And you, a lame cow? I don't think so!

Awh, that's good to know wriggly I like to make people laugh!

the jobcenter may be stretching the truth a little ( and its in there interested to get you to sign up to these courses) However, it is a good thing to do, as are the maths quals etc.. shows you are willing and have the motivation etc... have you also thought about volunteering? at an animal shelter? or your local Home-start cough, cough Not only will it look fab on your cv, but also give you a whole lot of transferable skills. You will be using your brain, getting out and about, meeting new people as well.

If you want me to take a look over your cv, im willing and can give you my email address. I used to do it in a past life and am a bit of a wizz :)
Also, if you want interview tips, im your girl ;)

no, we havent had the first date and i am still going to cancel. most likely. I do have lovely days out all the time. far too many really. Being single hasnt stopped me from doing anything at all. I had 5 holidays this year. Im off to the o2 on sunday to see disney on ice with DD, bloody excited to see her face. In fact, i have something lovely planned everyday next week, despite having to work 3 days. DD is off to her dads thur afternoon and then i have 3 evenings. and about 5 things to chose between doing.

I didn't load any photos when I tried it because I didn't want anyone I knew seeing me - but then nobody seems to contact you without a photo - so it was never going to work for me

Thank you watch, I appreciate your offer

I do volunteer with my local Children's Centre and also the Contact Centre on the weekends DD is with her dad. I also volunteer for Women's Aid in a Consultation Group which I enjoy. I attended a meeting at the Town Hall recently and had to speak in front of 60 people!!! I was bricking it very nervous for days beforehand but on the day I loved it!

My CV was given the once over on Monday at the careers place who pointed me in the direction of Learn Direct and said it was top notch, there was nothing they would alter soooooo, I do seem to be doing all the right things.

The Jobcentre are useless to be honest. My advisor is lovely but it is me who has to push for help. They would be happy for me to just go and sign every two weeks But that's not me, I'm a go getter, I need to be doing something. I might give you a shout when it comes to interview tips though, if and when I ever manage to get a bloody interview!!

You are a very busy lady!! And you come across as so confident, that's why it surprises me that you have trouble dumping folk When are you going to let him know? It sounds as though he will be inviting you for Christmas Dinner soon, if he can plan the second date before you have had the first it wouldn't surprise me!!

I need a social life like yours!! Well, a bit like yours, yours sounds a bit too expensive for my budget. I'm hoping that once I start work it will be in an environment that will lead to me meeting lots of new people. I meet a lot of people not but mostly they tend to be young mums, youths, or single parents going through a bad time. Lovely people but not quite what I'm looking for.

chris I don't entertain those without a photo. Usually I find the ones without a photo are married but there are some that explain it's for professional reasons and they are happy to send one. Could you do something like that?

Five holidays I'm saving up like mad to take DD on holiday next year. First holiday as a single mum and I can't wait, I'm so excited. I don't think I let being single stop me from doing anything although I do lack a bit of confidence sometimes. I am getting better though, that is improving. It's finances with me. I'm a saver and do find it hard to actually spend money

I have 'sort of' a dating question. I have not really dated since the beginning of time for a long time for lots of reasons. I was badly abused as a child and I very rarely find men attractive in real life as I am kind of scared, though I do enjoy fantasiseing at home. I always tend to have quite a few platonic male friends in my life (both gay and stright). I recently got rid of an abusive one with the help of you lovely mumsnetters, so I hope I an not on the friendship rebound!

I met a guy I like a few days ago. He is polite, kind and funny. He is the son of my neighbours best friend. I was over for dinner at my neighbours and I had a really nice chat with him. We have a lot of shared interests and he seems like a very genuine person - I have a feeling my neighbour was trying to set us up [hblush]. I do know he does find me attractive. He gave me some lovely complements in a non sleezy way [hsmile] and as I said we had a nice time.

The problem is - he is a LOT younger than me. I look about 10 years younger than I am and to be honest because I am retraining in a new career, most of my friends are well over 10 years younger than me. Unless I tell them most people think I am about 30 (I am almost 40). Most guys that chat me up are mid 20's like this guy. I would like to meet this guy as friends and if he asks my age I would always be honest. Would it be wrong to go on a few pseudo dates with him? I do enjoy his company and he makes me feel good about myself and there is attraction for both of us - which for me may be only once every 5 years! He obviously knows I am older but not how much older. He wants to practise his English (I live abroad) and I would like to improve my language skills too. Should I tell him outright my age or just see how it goes until he asks (though he may be too much of a gentleman).

I have had a really rough ride of it datingwise and I think it would be nice to spend time with an attractive man that is kind and considerate and that makes me feel happy - or is this being dishonest with him by not saying outright 'you do realise I am x years old'?

Absolutely - my point was nobody ever contacted me becuase they'd been bowled over by my dazzling photoless profile!

SA just tell him otherwise it will bug you. I don't think it will matter to him AT ALL and it will be out the way and not lurking making you worry about it

Chris I never look at profiles without pics. I put my pic up and I expect the same back. Haven't you at least got one where you are sort of in the distance/not massively recogniseable? Some people do that and then send clearer ones. I'm far more likely to message or reply if I at least have some idea of what you look like.

ah no. im skint as a skint thing. always.
Ive got £2.50 in my purse to last until friday and ill be getting to work tomorrow on petrol fumes :)

But, its just DD and i, so things arent expensive and im good at finding codes/discount things.

Like, we went on a 3 day thing to legoland/windsor. I was feeling flush when i booked it, and got a fab deal on a 4 star hotel ( it was so nice and dd and i turned up soaking wet in kagoules. lol ) anyway. It was a cheap deal, she ate for free, breakfast was included. Everyone told me id nee about £100 per day to spend in the park. i was going for two days. I was really worried as i didnt have nearly that amout of money. Total spend the first day £3.67 the second date £17.50 :)

sounds like you are doing everything right then ( didnt know you volunteered already! well done :) ) hopefully something will come up soon.

and im a busy, too busy. My weekend are booked ( if not double booked) until the end of nov already. And i am confident, im just not good at letting people down. I feel a bit mean.

Have you booked your holiday? do you know where you want to go?

SkinnedAlive Go for it! Enjoy a few dates and if the age thing crops up just tell him, take it as it comes and see what happens. I wouldn't have a problem dating a guy 10 years younger than me and the way you met him is lovely! I't not as though you are lying to him so you aren't being dishonest, you are just enjoying his company and maybe his body at this stage so don't worry about it.

I understand where you are coming from re your abusive past, it does make you wary but don't let what happened in your past spoil your future. Just enjoy each moment as it comes

We are going to Weymouth!! To a holiday/caravan park. Not booked yet as the 2012 prices aren't out but I am busy saving. We will be going by coach as that it the cheapest way to travel from here. It's going to take us 12 hours and 55 minutes to get there but it's only going to cost £35.60 so I'm not complaining. Oh, and two changes but I can handle that

I fully intend to do a lot of travelling with DD once the financial situation is sorted. I plan to work to enjoy life! This past 18 months all my money has gone on doing up our house, it was a hovel when we got it!! I've done it all myself from scratch and it's practically finished now, we have a lovely home, so any spare money is going in the holiday fund. Although I will be dipping into it to pay for the cat

I'm hoping our holiday is going to be as cheap on spending money as yours was watch. We shouldn't need much and if I cook our meals that will save money too. It will just be nice to get away. And do something as a single parent iyswim. I will feel quite proud of myself

As for you letting people down, well, what's the alternative? That you do something just for their sake, to make them happy, so the problem becomes yours and not theirs? No. We don't do that. It's not mean to pull out of something you don't want to do, it's not selfish, it's assertive, it's looking after yourself. Nothing wrong with that at all. Plus, when you tend to go along with things for the sake of other people there is a risk that you will get drawn in even further and find yourself in a situation that is even more difficult to get out of and causes you more stress than it would have done just to say "no" in the first place. It's only delaying the inevitable so you may as well do it now as later.

loving the new thread title!

Well, I have a date on Saturday :) And we even managed to have a phone conversation. He is currently trying to find something to cover his stitches so I'm not put off

Currently veering between thinking I will not fancy him one bit. Or I will massively and he will hate me.

Why is dating SUCH hard work?!!

My neighbours are wonderful and I KNOW they would never try and set me up with someone that was not 100% genuine - they have tried with stepson before [hshock]. His father was very nice too though he spoke little English.

We both have exams just now so we will e-mail each other and see what happens when the exams are done. He has seen me at my VERY worst as my heating was not working and I was wearing 2 very large jumpers, wooly jogging bottoms and slightly unwashed hair etc when we met [hblush]. My neighbours saw me pass taking out the bins and ran out to make me join them for dinner!!!

Maybe he will not ask me out so it is academic. If he does I will see how it goes. He has 'liked' my recent pics on FB which was sweet. Maybe I will say outright if it seems datey but not say anything unless asked it it is more friends. It is just nice to have something to look forward to and find a hot young man someone attractive for once [hgrin]

time I took the boys to a Haven site in Weymouth a few years back - Seaview - was absolutely lovely. There are a few Havens in the area, its the smallest but definitely the best, or at least it was when we went. You will be able to do it quite cheaply, if you do your own cooking and stuff. We used to do a shop at the start of the week (like we would at home) and that was it - only other spending money would be on any drinks if we went to the clubhouse in the evening or maybe an icecream during the day. If you get bored with the site, you can always go to the beach for free. Obviously not so good if you get bad weather!

Hurray!! sponge brilliant! Stop with the negative thinking right this minute young lady! What could he possibly find to hate about you??? You are lovely!

SkinnedAlive I know it's easier said than done but try not to over think it. I was terribly guilty of this prior to my recent date so I know it's difficult not to Your neighbours sound lovely!

haha, time I am quite irritating in RL. If he realises this on the first date there will not be a second, however overwhelmed he may be by my looks

sponge I'm planning on going to Waterside at Boleaze Cove. It's where we used to go as a family, although not so much as a family as me and DD would be doing our own thing while he spent every afternoon in the bookies did his own thing. I love it there and can't wait to create some happy memories with just me and DD. I plan do do exactly as you did though and do a shop at the beginning of the week. I could even get an Asda shop delivered!! It won't cost us much I'm sure, I am pretty tight frugal