Belting out Adele songs to your 27 cats... dating chat thread #5

[lubeybooby]

New one! Off we go :o All kind of dating, chat here.

zany - are you interested in seeing him again then? or not really?

Time - that is so cute.

Poppa - fab. Always good when that happens. Good luck for your date later.

Sponge - good that he said sorry, but id still be wary, everyone ive ever entered into sexting with prior to meeting has indeed only been after one thing. If thats fine with you, then its ok, but its good to keep in mind that he might be viewing the date in a very different way to you.

back at work today :(
Had such a lovely time few days off. Times like that really make me think i dont ever want to share my time with anyone at all and im happy with it being just DD and I. Shes off to her dads tomorrow and i really dont want her to go :(

Its hard isn't it Watch when you have a brilliant time with your DC's and then that's it you don't see them for a while when they go to their Dad's.

That is soooooo cute Time

Poppa hope tomorrow's date goes really well, especially after realising you are moving on [happy]

I just thnk that last night's date talked a little bit too much about ex's instead of actually getting to know me. He split from his ex wife 2 years ago as she cheated on him although he says he is over that and I think I believe him but then he went out with someone at the beginning of the year who he obviously fell for and then she suddenly broke things off. He hasn't asked me for another date so it might not matter anyway although when he left he did say 'hope to see you again'. Think I will go if he asks but be cautious. I suspect he may be a bit of a player.

But Mr Yacht has booked a table for Saturday night for our second date , here's hoping I get a snog instead of a handshake

That, watch, is exactly how I feel too. And that is why I'm in no rush and feel I can afford to be picky and wait for the right man to come along. A man couldn't make my life any happier than it is.

zany did Mr Roller Skate date offer the info or did you ask? The Friday Flop talked A Lot about his three wives, mostly unprompted but I did ask a few leading questions too. I think he can perhaps be forgiven for talking about his past if it was mutual conversation.

Yaaay for Mr Yacht!! Now, if he offer's a handshake instead of a snog I wonder what you would get instead of a shag??

zany - oh, i didnt realise you had a second date too. woohooo ;)

Time, yep. Quite possibly i am too picky though, having been single for almost 3 years now. Which might point that i dont actually want a relationship. i dont know,i can never quite make up my mind about what it is that i want.
Are you talking to anyone with any potential at all?

I don't remember asking him, he said that the woman he dated at the beginning of the year 'ticked all his boxes', kind of feels that there is too much to live up to IYSYIM. I think he is a player as he mentioned a couple of bars near me that he is going to soon, when I mentioned that one of them was like a meat market he was 'oh which ones that' - a bit too keen in asking about it seen as he was on a date at the time with an amazing woman.....me

Just googled the restaurant Mr Yacht has booked and its lovely. God I feel nervous though about eating in front of someone I don't know. Shall I offer to pay half? I usually do. Decided if the date goes well then I will move in for a snog peck on the cheek

Oh BoR is a paaaaaaaain in the bum with texting.

Text convo went like this:

9am.

BoR: Are you working today babe?

Me: Nope but I need a bit of time to get ready if you're coming over

BoR: Come to mine then if you want

Me: Oh no it's fine I know you have to be over this end of town anyway today seems daft to get the bus over when you are coming anyway. Make it about 10.30am?

BoR: (No reply. I take this as a yes)

Me: Actually I feel a bit crappy, can we make that 11am so my tablets have a chance to work?

BoR: I'm not ready yet babe

(bear in mind it's 9am at this point so that makes noooo sense at all)

Me: Ok... well anytime after 11am is fine here xx

BoR: No reply.

FFS is he bloody coming round or not? I suspect he is. I can't be arsed to ring him though even though that would have been the sensible thing.

Yesterday we arranged lunchtime here so I reckon he will stick to that plan rendering that conversation completely pointless

Time awwww at Lulu!! :o

Poppa Good luck tomorrow!

Zany that sounds like a plan re: the rollerskate date/ any possible follow up. Seeing how it goes and if he asks that is. I'm guilty of talking about my exes but it's more just to explain where I'm 'at' now

Watch I couldn't make up my mind for ages either. I found that even when I didn't really want a relationship though the right person could make me reconsider. I'm also very picky but have definitely relaxed my standards rather with BoR. I'm having fun though (apart from the conversation above)

It's difficult when your kids go to their dads. I've always missed DD so much when she goes. I'm kind of used to it now after 14 years of it though, although I think she is going to his this xmas and that will suck massively :(

Oh and I have to tell you about something my DD did as it really reminded me of the crossouts that I keep using on MN. She passed me not that said 'Mum I think I love fancy Harvey, shall I tell him'

watch I think you and I feel very much the same way. You often write posts that I could have written myself. I think I'm too fussy too, I am trying not to be in order to date but at the same time I'm not all that bothered about dating so any excuse to pass on a bloke and I will. I've been single for coming up to 2 years now and in that time I've had two dates and to be perfectly honest with you, once those dates were over and I was back home I was elated, I was so pleased not to have clicked. I think that speaks volumes about me and what I want. BUT, I do want to move on from my ex and I do want to have sex at some point before everything shrivels up!

These dark nights don't help my cause because I love to close my curtains, have my shower and go to bed early in my fleecy PJ's and a milky coffee. I really cba to turn out in winter, it takes more effort.

I'm not talking to anyone with any potential at all at the moment. There was the guy at the beginning of the week but he turned out to be odd.

Oh oh oh and unrelated to dating but I'm SO Excited. Me and DD have been invited to a private performance by John Wilding, plus meeting him, getting pics etc and 'an extra treat' :o he was an xfactor contestant but didn't make it into live shows thanks to a TERRIBLE decision by Gary to take twatty talentless Frankie CockOozer instead.

Anyway she is a massive fan of his (and so am I) and I sent off for some signed pics of him from his website. They took a while arriving so I emailed to check they received the order ok. Got a very swift and apologetic reply and the pics turned up a couple of days later. So DD was over the moon anyway and we forgot all about it - til last night I got an email inviting us to this do at a private members club in London on halloween as an apology for the late pics! :o I'm sooooooooo excited! :o

Ewww zany I would bin him just for that! He isn't showing much respect for you in making comments like that. But feel free to ignore me because I am just far too fussy! and perhaps in avoidance

Texting can be a pain Lubey - I have come to the conclusion that some guys and women are just rubbish at texting back and/or not explaining what they want on text. I am very guilty of this and often text rather than phone mainly becasue its easier to text whilst at work, at the gym or out with the dog.

I have decided to stop dreading Xmas (easier said than done) and just look at the positives. I am lucky I guess that my ex lives in the same town so although I won't have them Xmas Eve/Xmas morning I will be with them for the meal and boxing day. I have already invited myself to spend the evening with one of my closest friends, even if he is doing a family thing and am hopinf that my usual group of friends will be out.

Oooh lubey that's fab! How brilliant is that! As for BoR, bless him. takes bets on how long it will be before he gets on lubeys nerves and she joins the prefer to be single club!

Oooh zany Time realises she says ooh A Lot I am soooo looking forward to Christmas! I'm a great one for finding the positives. I won't have DD Christmas Eve or Christmas morning either, it was my turn last year BUT she will be coming home to a beautifully set table which I fully intend The Twat to see when he drops her off and the smell of Christmas lunch cooking. We will open the presents, eat lunch then get all cosy on the sofa with Lulu and stuff our face with chocolates! Can't wait!!

I'm not so bothered about being on my own Christmas Eve but for some reason it is slightly bothering me that I will be alone on New Years Eve. Last year DD stayed up with me to see in the new year, when Bib Ben struck midnight she cried, sobbed actually, because she was having to say goodbye to 2010 because it had been the best year ever. That broke my heart because in February 2010 we had fled to a refuge, spending 4 months in there before we found our house, then we lived for ages with nothing, no carpets, curtains, or home comforts BUT, it had been DD's best year ever! Mine too actually.

Time!! :o He has erm... certain redeeming features so he might around a while yet even if he gets on my bloody nerves already :o

And yes the John Wilding thing is totally amazing. Such a lovely surprise and DD thinks she's dreaming bless her. I'm really looking forward to it too his is the only voice in all my eyars ever to give me the goosebump effect. Lovely stuff!

Years not eyars

Ahh Time that goes to show you what a brilliant Mum you are ater going through all that crap you still made your DD so happy that she considers it one of her best years. You should feel very proud of her and yourself. You made me giggle at letting The Twat see the beautifully set table as it wasn't until I read this that I realise I do simular things, I will say within his earshot 'right guys I've made your favourite for dinner... roast chicken with yorkshire puddings as I am sure that my cooking is one of the only things he misses about me [happy]. IT is my ex's turn to have the DC's for New Years Eve but I think that if my family are at my parents which they usually are then there is going to be mutiny from my DC's as they will want to be with my family. I think I miss having a boyfriend to Xmas shop with, my XP was brilliant to shop with, never moaned, carried the bags and then offered to buy the drinks at the end of a long shop.......sigh... shame he was such a narcassist twat then

Time my first xmas in this house was the same - we had bugger all but we were freeeeeeeeeeeeee and it was amazing :o

Brilliant news about JOhn Wilding Lubey I can't remember him but will google him, what a lovely surprise for your DD. Hmmm by redeming features do you mean woth changing the bed sheets for

time - it sounds like you have had a very rough time of it. And really, you are being rather amazing to even consider dating at all.
I also cba in the winter. DD is away for 3 nights, and im not going to go out, i should, but one i cant afford it really and two, its bloody cold. I have owl fleece pjs from primark. They are hideously wonderful.
Ive had a ton of dates, but i do know im always looking for excuses why i dont like them, or why i dont want to go. Plus, seeing as i got a whole lot of sex recently, then im not that bothered at the momment.

I have this coffee date sat which im only going to becuase i need to go into town anyway, and then there is one other guy who im quite interested in, but thats about it. I think once these are done ill be hiding my profiles until the new year. ( there tends to be a whole lot of new people sign up about that time)

Lubey - that is a pain. i would be qiute annoyed. is he coming or not? can you not just text him that?

lubey - yeah, thats not a nice comment to make, id stear clear.

Im looking forward to xmas. I always do anyway, but ive got dd more this year ( after last years bad planning). She will go to her dads boxing day at about 3. We stay at my mums christmas day, so then ill stay at mums that night and go home the next day, and will be pleased to have a little bit of space for two days before she comes back. ive got new years too but only because he didnt want her new years eve. I dont care for new years eve at all, but new years day ill be hosting a family party ( as i always do) and dd needs to be there.

ahh but lubey he is on his best behaviour at the moment, once he starts farting and belching thinks he has got you he will show his true colours and his redeeming features won't be quite so redeeming

Thank you zany really struggling to hold back the tears now. You made me laugh too because I do exactly the same as you. I announce loudly the meal I have prepared. I'm not so sure he will miss my cooking though because his mother stepped in the day after I left. She makes sure he is well fed. I do make sure he overhears the fab things we have been up to though I do enjoy rubbing his nose into how happy we are.

As for Christmas shopping, I won't miss him at all. His idea of Christmas shopping was to take an afternoon off work so we could go to Toys R Us and fill a trolley, usually all toys of his choosing. In his eyes that was DD sorted. We would then go late night shopping a couple of times where he would put more thought into gifts for his mother. He would never carry the bags, ever! He would pass them straight to me. I once refused and I paid a high price for that. It wasn't a very enjoyable experience at all. Life is so much better without him in it!!!!

lubey DD was with him last Christmas and I spent most of the time in bed, eating chocolate and drinking Vodka, just because I could! It wasn't brilliant because I was skint and I missed DD but it was still better than the Christmases I had had to endure with him and his fucking mother. This year is going to be the best Christmas EVER!!! DD has stuck post it notes on her bedroom wall saying "I can't wait for Christmas"

And we have Lulu now too!!

watch I think perhaps I sometimes want a bit of attention. I want someone, a man, to find me attractive and I want to feel I am attractive to a man. I was totally starved of love and affection by The Twat, he never told me he loved me and never paid me a compliment but yet he ogled and flirted with other women in front of me. I think I just want someone to want me, even though I don't particularly want anyone. I think also, a tiny part of me wants to stick two fingers up at him and say "see, someone does find me attractive and it's your loss Tosser" but I know that's not a good reason for getting involved with anyone.

My fleece PJ's are from Primark too. Main colour is cream with the sleeves and J bottoms covered in bright coloured spots. I put them on the other night and DD fell about in hysterics, laughing her head off at me, asking what on earth I was wearing. I guess I won't be answering the door in them then

Lubey - The texting malarky. Dont really have that with S thank god, but two months or so back, I did with he who shall be known as twathead henceforth. Drove me demented, I never knew if he was coming or going or whatever. No replies mid conversation is just rude really (within a reasonable time scale. Like two minutes ) He must have some very valuable redeeming features indeed!

Time - aside from not being a good reason to get involved with someone, it still shows you care even minutely about what The Twat thinks about you. Hopefully that will go when you meet someone far better :) I hope lulu is settling in well!

Not a good reason for wanting to get involved with someone Time but perfectly understandable. My XP said that no one would look at me, especially with the baggage of 2 ds'c (I don't see tham as baggage but as lovely extras), implied I was overweight/ugly, I was always miserable (when not with him I am a very happy smily person even when having a shitty time) and said that he thought only guys who were 50 plus would ever want to go out with me. When I had a few dates with guys in their early 30's it was a massive 2 fingers up.

stay and zany I totally agree with you both. When I first left I cared massively what he thought, he still had a great deal of control over me even though I had left. I am much better now though, it is only a very tiny part of me that cares what he thinks of me. I rarely give him a thought these days which is fantastic considering this time last year I thought I would have a broken heart forever and would never recover. I thought I was destined never to be happy again. I do get pleasure from seeing him look miserable though so I suppose I still have a bit of a way to go

I normally get to have the boys over Christmas, think the first year they stayed with Ex on Christmas Eve (which was ok as I still had loads of stuff to prepare/presents to wrap, plus friends came and took me out to the pub later!) after that they tended to stay with me on the Eve, Ex picks them up late morning (once theyve had presents here) and takes them over to his parents for more presents. As his mum doesnt cook Christmas dinner (don't even get me started on how weird that is...) he brings the boys back late afternoon and we have our Christmas meal with my friends in the evening :)

And New Year I always get the boys so Ex can go out and get pissed

I also don't know if I want a man, long term. Time, I can relate to wanting attention etc, Ex really did a number on me for years telling me how fat and ugly I was etc. Zany, mine went further & said no-one would ever go out with me, who would want me I was so disgusting

I actually did meet someone after we split, and (although it didn't last) it was amazing to feel loved and adored, but it never got to the tricky stage of introducing him to the boys etc so it was still v separate from my 'normal' life iyswim. It was also nice to prove to myself how wrong the Ex was!

Still not sure re the sexting man. Watch I do think he is only after sex, in which respect part of me does think well I have to get back on the horse sometime. Although I feel so awful today that I just want to curl up with a hot water bottle, sex is the last thing on my mind!