Belting out Adele songs to your 27 cats... dating chat thread #5

[lubeybooby]

New one! Off we go :o All kind of dating, chat here.

He is saying again that he wants to meet me. I'm feeling more of an urge to block him

Oh I'm getting muddled up and thought 42m was your local one, I've checked his profile and thought he sounded interesting!!! I haven't seen his messages though.

Don't know what to say but trust your instincts.

Have to go now but you can get into Sandhurst with just 'O levels' (in the olden days).

He is the local one adamschic he is working away until next week. I posted one of his messages up thread, the one in which he has mentioned all his degrees and jobs, just seems a little hard to believe for a 47yr old, I was wondering if it's possible or if it's me being overly suspicious.

Time, I'm sorry that message is setting off my bullshit radar.

The degree thing sounds unlikely in any event, but I think what Lubey says confirms it definitely is. The career stuff - well yes it's possible to have had many different jobs (I work with a guy who was in the Army, then worked abroad, was a professional musician, couple of other random jobs before settling into the stuff he does now BUT he certainly hasnt done lots of degrees as well...it's the jobs coupled with the other stuff in your guys case that makes me a bit )

A friend's brother went to Sandhurst, I don't remember the ins & outs but he deffo wasn't from private school etc. But again, same point above applies.

And also...some people have had really really amazingly action packed, eventful lives. But they tend to acknowledge that fact, and I certainly don't think would lay out all that info straight off the bat. Why would you need to know all that stuff about him? Which is what makes me think it is made up/exaggerated. Or that he is a bit odd. Or both.

Am really sorry tho, because from his profile he seemed great.

Sodding men.

I suppose I'm worried about getting sucked in. Certain guys are very clever, you are drawn in before you realise it, then it's bloody hard to get out of unscathed. I don't want to 'be had'.

I'm just pleased it isn't just me that feels something is not right sponge. I really do not feel comfortable taking the risk. No man is worth ending up in the crap again for.

We are talking several 'big' jobs here, he can't have stuck at any of them for very long, even his marriage only lasted 2 years, but yet he has the commitment to study for 5 degrees! And he has a problem with authority, I especially don't like that bit, I think that says a lot about a person.

Time I think you've hit the nail on the head re the lack of commitment to work vs the apparent commitment to his studies...does it sound likely? not to me I'm afraid. I do think you have to trust your gut instinct sometimes. What would you think if you'd just met him in a pub randomly and he'd told you all that? I suspect you'd be making your excuses and leaving pdq!

Meanwhile, convo with my Fri night date is getting a bit um, lively . He so obviously is just out for sex.

Part of me thinks oh what the hell, I need to get over myself, enter into the spirit of it etc, see what happens, but the little princess inside me is going 'no I expected to be treated better, wined and dined before I capitulate, I'm not engaging in smutty talk' etc .

Not sure at the moment whether the princess or the pragmatist will win :)

You could see a man with 5 degrees as being committed; or you could see it at someone who cannot make up his mind and likes to be the eternal student!

That does sound like a bit too much work experience time

Time... one of my best mates goes back to uni regulary usually after a relationship bustup and has two degrees, a couple of grad certs or grad dips, a coursework masters and just finished his PhD but he's 43. He's a physio and ergonomicist and has had several jobs here in Australia and has worked in the UK for three 5 year stints, so anything is possible. Zany would love him 'cos he's 6'6" and has a kind of windswept and interesting rock star look about him. However Steve is the most understated bloke you'd ever meet. Your guy sounds like a cross between MacGyver and Sheldon Cooper.

Yes sponge you are right! Last night at 11pm he said goodnight, he said it was later there and he had an early start. I've just asked him how far ahead in time it is where he is and he replied he is on the same time zone as us, that when we put our clocks back at the weekend he will be one hour ahead. Last night he said it was late there so surely must have known it was late here too??

I think I would rather be having your convo that mine sponge Just don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Simples!

Should I block this one then, just to be on the safe side? I think I need to go into hiding for a day or two, while I settle the cat in. I'm left feeling rather unnerved by all this.

So help me out here people, should I be wary or impressed? It's all feeling a bit at the moment....

He's too short anyway!

And... spent several more hours chatting with the unsmiling quiet one last night. We were on chat for a while with the mutual friend who set us up and had a great time taking the piss out of her. Her daughter is engaged to the mutual friend's son, and the mutual friend and I knew each other for 10 years through surf life saving while our kids were in Nippers (surf life saving for 7-13 year olds). Having someone in common who knew both our histories definitely made things more comfortable and credible. She opened up and we covered a heap of topics so she became even more interesting. Even if nothing comes of it I've had the diversion of some good online company for a few nights. We shall see Thursday!

Ooh, sounds promising PoppaRob! At least things are happening for you

Time you are unnerved and things do not seem to add up, I think you should concentrate on the cat for a few days. Sorry it has not all worked out for you, but better to red flag him now & save pain later down the line?

Thanks wriggly I think you are right. I'm going to say a polite goodbye to him tomorrow, just in case I happen to be wrong about him, block him and hide my profile for a while. I was just thinking exactly the same thing as you have said, I would rather save myself the pain later down the line. I couldn't cope with another toxic relationship so better to be safe than sorry.

I have family in the military & that side of the things he is saying does not quite add up. Stay safe & happy :-)

Thank you wriggly

This is his latest line. "I have my own company, that company has a contract for various scientific, management and public communication services with BP"

So he has gone from a military background into ^^. Plausible??

God, I might just become a cat lady and give up on this bullshit dating lark forever!!

Sounds like bullshit to me but even if true, you are unerved, not good from just chatting trust your instincts

Tell you what though, if he is genuine then he is a bloody good catch! He must be very intelligent and loaded!!

No really exciting sex talk or flirting conversation though.

Just sounds all too good to be true MrsC. He works abroad a lot but says when he is home his free time is going to be split doing a PHD at Leeds, on a week on week off basis.

Fuck! Even his birthday is the same day as mine. If I didn't know better, if he was clever enough and had the intelligence I would think this was my ex setting me up!! When it comes to likes, dislikes, wants and preferences it's like talking to myself talking to this guy, we are identical, or he knows me inside out, or he has read this thread!!! And now he shares the same birthday!

does anyone read the forums on pof? This was posted which is pretty scary

forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14759981.aspx

?Three Easy Changes You Need To Make To Your Profile...
Open up her profile on your computer. Go ahead, do it right now. Now, take a look at three key sections:

1. The ?For? Section: You gotta match it, or put up ?Long Term? on yours. Ideally, you're looking for the same thing she is. This way, she'll find you in a search match. However, if you're trying to hook a couple of fish... you may need to put long term. This is the best status to have for many reasons... We simply don't have the space to cover it, now.
2. The ?Boxes Of Death?: You see how above her pictures and below her pictures there are two boxes? The first one starts with, ?City? and the second one starts with, ?I am seeking a.? Got them? Perfect. Well, you want to match her on these boxes, as well. Obviously, you don't want to put that you're seeking a man. You want to match her answers for the following: ?Smoker ?Religion ?Relationship & Chemistry (hint: you should NEVER fill these out... because... the results look like you try too hard...) ?Do you drink? ?Do you want children? ?Do you do drugs? ?Do you have a car? (Try to say yes, if you possibly can. Even if you live in a city) ?And smarts (Some college is always a safe bet) ? Matching these categories takes you OFF her ?No? list. Most men go straight for what she says in her profile. They hope to ?win? her by matching her interests, like snowboarding, etc. But these categories are the deal breakers. Miss them and it's game over. Just like this final place you gotta tweak...
3. The Mail Settings! Way down at the bottom of the profile, you're going to see the ?requirements? you need to message her. Most women put Must Not Be Looking For Intimate Encounter and Must Not Be Looking For Other Relationship. Add these to your profile, as well. (They're in the profile tab. Little checkboxes) And then match her answers to these, as well.