Belting out Adele songs to your 27 cats... dating chat thread #5

[lubeybooby]

New one! Off we go :o All kind of dating, chat here.

hatesponge I too need to get back in the saddle , but cannot work out how to detach myself emotionally. That is what holds those knickers of steel in place. I so do not want to be crapped on by a bloke again.
Time i was already planning to go with something similar to your idea, I just feel that I need to be very open and honest that the shag is not on offer. What actually happens after that is another issue all together!
Shit, I might need to dig out some matching undies!
Ballroom I am very new to this, but have approached each of my 2 dates with the assumption that they will be mingers and nothing like their profile & pics, a good ploy so far - except Plan B was better and that totally threw me

42m on POF if you fancy a gander. He is only 5ft 10" and I'm 5ft 9 1/2", shallow I know but I would prefer a man who is taller than me.

I dunno...........

I have had two dates and three kisses, he is being a gentleman but not sure if it is because he doesnt fancy me or is just playing by dating rules.
It has been 4 years for me hatesponge so would be more than up for it if the situation arose. Don't know whether to make my intentions clear as it may scare him off (and rejection would be awful!) waiting to hear from him about this weekend. DCs with my ex so timing would be good but he usually sees his dcs on Saturday.

Sounds like a good plan wriggly. I'm more worried about what they'll think of me though.

Oh my - 3/4 years?? I couldn't stick that.

I wouldn't declare any intentions pretty, just go with the flow. If he is being a gentleman and playing by dating rules, he will be expecting to make the first move.

wriggly, tricky isn't it. I think I can do the emotional detachment bit (I have in the past, albeit a long time ago now) BUT I do need to really fancy them. And most men manage to do something to make me think Ewwwww before we get anywhere near the shagging stage. I probably just need to be less fussy more drunk

time, re the height thing most of my Exs have only been an inch or so taller than me, I always wear big heels so in reality they used to look shorter. Have nosed at his profile and I think he seems really nice and normal tbh - quite intelligent too, strikes me as someone who you'd have a really lovely evening with even if you didn't fancy him. So I say go for it :)

Thanks sponge, he is nice and normal, think that's what has thrown me a bit!! And he is very intelligent, think that has thrown me too.

He did mention meeting for tea and a bun last night so think I might suggest we start with that. I'm not going to all that expense effort again only for it to be a disappointment!

I do like him though..........

He seems lovely Time, fanciable and it looks as though he would be good to chat with too.

It's really hard to trust Wriggly if you've been treated badly in the past. I try and keep my barriers up a bit with anyone new without letting it influence how I react towards a potential new guy. I have been told in the past though that I am too trusting but I would rather that than expect every guy to be as bad as my last relationship. There are some good ones out there.

I wouldn't worry too much about the height thing. I am 5 ft 10 and Mr Body was 5 ft 6 but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would do.

Thanks Zany I will say a definite yes to tea and a bun He is away until next week anyway so that gives me more time with the cat

As for the height, I know I'm being daft, I really know I'm being daft but, I have this picture in my head of what 'my bloke' will look like. And he will be tall, very tall.

How lovely that everyone seems to setting up dates

Re the shag on 2nd date/staying over predicament, if they are a decent bloke they won't presume and will be happy with the sofa, if they are knobheads, they could disappear after shag on the 10/15/20 date. Hopefully, yours is the first kind of man. Letting go after being hurt is always going to be difficult but you can just date, try to keep your heart in a bubble and just enjoy meeting new people, no expectations

I don't have the height issue as at 5ft exactly, all men are taller than me

I've had a very productive weekend, messaged by a young Beckham lookalike who I am sure is only looking for a shag but he is 30 (me 45) pretty and a personal trainer with a body to make me drool so I might just go with it for fun. Trying to set up dates with a man that uses text speak but seems alright and a very beautiful man that wants to take me to the theatre! Very tempted but won't get much chatting done listening to someone sing for 2 hours. I've suggested drinks in Covent Garden instead and theatre for the second date lol

I usually look at people my age or older and this weekend I dropped 10 years in my searches and got replies to all the messages I sent! Younger ones are more polite it would seem, might keep to that tactic for a while

Hmmm MsCellophane I like the idea of 10yrs younger, if Plan B does not work out I may steal that idea. Sounds like you are pretty busy!

Thanks all for the steel knickers vs back on the horse advice, I will let you know how it goes. Off to wax my legs...just in case...

I always find that when I don't make the effort with the shaving of legs and pits, either because I'm using it as an anti shagging device or because I don't think the other person will be interested - those are the nights I end up having fun and apologising for my gorilla impression

wax back off the heat then - good advice :-)

Hi everyone! How are we all?

I went on a date on Saturday. Actually I went on two dates - one in the early evening and one later. They were both really nice actually.

I may, ahem, have gone home with the later date. Which has certainly blown away a few cobwebs I can tell you! He is texting a lot, would like to see me again e.c.t., but (and I know this sounds bad) I don't know if I like him enough to want to see him on a regular basis. I was really up for having some sex but now... I dunno. I don't want to commit myself - I'm having fun meeting new people.

Aaaanyway, that git that blew me out more times than I would care to admit is now viewing my profile again. I can't believe it - is this some sort of game to him or something? I am not going to give him the satisfaction of responding. Ignore, ignore, ignore is my new motto!

I will now attempt to read through all the pages of the thread I've missed to catch up with you all!

Good stuff Make! Yay for the sex.

He was a timewasting twat of the highest order. If it's OKcupid you can 'hide' him so you won't know if he looks. Or just block on other sites should do that (hopefully)

Woohoo make, sounds like fun, I wish I could just let go & enjoy the ride!

I find it hard to relax with a new person too Wriggly. I feel insecure about my post 3 babies body and find being naked with a new person makes me feel very vulnerable. But it was worth throwing caution to the wind and just going for it. I'm on a bit of a high from it all!

Make that sounds about right, I am post 2 babies and my old toned, flat tummy (not to mention the rest of it) is fine in clothes, but I absolutely dread getting naked. I want to let go, but am cautious of being emotionally hurt aswell as looking not quite as I would like.
I know that I just need to follow my feelings, I'm really pleased for you that you did that & feel so fab :-)

I know what you mean Time about having an idea in your head about your dream man as I always thought I would end up with a tall, dark haired rugby type guy wearing combats, flip flops and a t shirt. Thing is there could be guys out there perfect for us who don't look like like our drem man but in fact they may actually be perfect for us.

Make it doesn't sound bad at all, you don't have to want a relationship with someone to sleep with them.

Yeah, you are right Zany, I'm being daft. My dream man is lovely though, tall, nice build, jeans, and a really soft and snuggly fleece type top. BUT, funnily enough he has a face very similar to Mr Nice Man.

What do you think of this guys? Mr Nice is 47 and in this message is telling me everything he has done with his life. I raised the question after he told me he failed all his A levels but he now I has 4 degrees and a 5th simmering in the background and a PhD offer from Leeds.
Looking at it do you think it is all entirely possible or am I being had? Looking at it would it strike you as odd? I'm not sure...

"It takes me a year to do a MSc part time, and only 16 months for a degree, again part time. I did one of each with the OU.

I've spent most of my time living it up, never made a career decision and travelled a lot, mainly to complete shitholes and warzones, done some TV stuff, trained as a trauma field medic and as a fireman. I was a marksman in the TA and did my officer training, Sandhurst and all that. Unfortunately I have 'problems with authority', I just can't help taking the piss...

Married, I was married for less than 2 years back in the 90s, no children. A salutory lesson that I am only human."

My radar is going off but should it be??

This is eerie. He feels, thinks, wants exactly the same as me. It's like he is me, or he is reading my mind.

Hmmm. The OU gives you up to ten years to do a masters, and all the modules at once together in a year would cost a fortune. Thousands and thousands.

I'm doing a BSc with the OU and it's going to take me six years. The very very quickest I could do it, doing 2 modules a year would be four years maybe three at a push

I would be questioning having had ALL that going on too

Is this someone you have met Time? If so where and if not, which site, can we check his profile. He sound like a fantasist to me.

Mmmm, It's definitely not sitting right with me. I don't like the 'problems with authority' either. I get the feeling he likes to be in control and doesn't like any kind of control over him.

And Sandhurst? Don't you have to be 'special' to get into Sandhurst? Loaded and with posh parents. And can you get into Sandhurst after failing your A levels?

I think I would feel better giving tea and cake/dinner a miss on this occasion. I'm rather unnerved by it all.

He now works for some environment agency or other, very technical and specialist job but did say this is following employment in the gas and oil industry. That's a hell of a lot of jobs in his adult lifetime.

He is on POF adamschic He is 42m. He looks 'normal' but there again they usually do!

I do feel very unnerved by him.