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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

999 replies

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 15/10/2011 12:38

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

OP posts:
Theala · 03/11/2011 12:59

DOTV - I don't want to read and not reply, but I can only echo Mouse in that you need real, professional help and you need it now. Can your GP refer you to someone immediately? Sorry, I don't know how the NHS works, but there must be someone who can take you on as an emergency case, I would hope.
Many hugs and much strength to you; I hope for all your sakes' that you get through this.

Welcome to the bus Piranha. I had a similar thing with my DH - recognised that we were both drinking far, far too much and it had become 'normal' for us. Since I've started to try to cut down, DH is drinking far less also.

Day3 for me and I still feel awful - grumpy, depressed, lethargic, snappy, and just generally a bitch. I keep trying to snap myself out of it, but it's not working. It's going to be hard not to 'self-medicate' this weekend. :(

Snapespeare · 03/11/2011 13:26

mouse - thank you. today I am not drinking. :)

DoTV. good first steps, really. I've been thinking about you. Can I echo what others have asked about your GPs advice? You have been downing gargantuan amounts of alcohol, it can be so much more difficult to stop dead, and a far higher possibility of spectacular relapse than cutting down. Your body is reliant on alcohol, your absention must be very carefully managed.

can I ask - I seem to recall there being a support thread for the family and friends of alcoholics, I can't find it - could anyone be a sweetie and link? I want to get some advice about my daughter with regards to her dad. (thank you!)

Snapespeare · 03/11/2011 15:01

thank you! :)

Fairenuff · 03/11/2011 16:44

Theala

Day3 for me and I still feel awful - grumpy, depressed, lethargic, snappy, and just generally a bitch. I keep trying to snap myself out of it, but it's not working. It's going to be hard not to 'self-medicate' this weekend.

It can take up to about 7 days to get all the alcohol out of your system and start to feel 'right' again. This is what it's really like to see the hangover through. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins, iron, sugar and fluids. Rather than trying to snap out of it, try to give yourself little treats. Get lovely soft drinks and teas or hot chocolate. Treat yourself to new smellies using the money you save not drinking. We often have a Face Pack Friday (about 8pm for me).

Don't think about the weekend yet. Just keep it in the day. Well done on 3 days Smile

Fairenuff · 03/11/2011 16:51

DOTV I absolutely agree that your DH is doing what is best for you DD. He has to put her needs first. I also agree with Mouse that there is no excuse for him to hit you. The fact that he has admitted he did this to his parents and that they are upset with him is a good sign.

All you need to think about right now is getting yourself the help you need. If you are going to stop drinking this has to be your priority. You have put the booze before everything and everyone else so far. Now you need to put staying off it before everything. Well done for going to the GP. Do follow up with an AA visit as soon as you can.

I think cutting down will be extremely difficult for you so, unless your GP has advised you not to stop, I think stopping completely will be your best chance of success. I also think DH's parents sound like they would be completely supportive of you if you told them. Could they keep it to themselves, do you think.

notneverasaint · 03/11/2011 17:27

Hi all,
Tis I with a bit of an all saints day name change. Am here and sorry to worry you thurso and thank you for thinking of me.

DOTV - welcome. You're in a good place here. I will PM you my story later but I would say please do consider throwing off the fears and pride and trying AA. The people there will understand. If you're in the NW I'll come with you to a meeting. Professional help didn't do much for me - another alcoholic however did amazing things.

And welcome to other new people - I'd be wary of advising anyone to cut down (because if you're an alcoholic you can't!) and if your GP thinks you are safe to stop, I wouldn't contradict that either.

It's moving house day here next Monday, so it is chaotic - more so than even last time was - but all is going roughly to plan.

Love to all x

hauntmenow · 03/11/2011 18:09

Evening all!

Jeez this weather. I've just driven at about 5 miles/ hour for an hour in the dark and rain, all brake lights and pushing in and grumpiness.

I am so glad to be sober. This time of year was a particular trigger (as was every other month, event excuse), but its wonderful to be dealing with everyday stuff, good and bad, in real time, without guilt or intoxication.

How are you Dotv? ( I Pmed you as LL)

Mouseface · 03/11/2011 18:41

Good to see you noteven - I was wondering if you were avoiding the thread because of similarities and triggers.

I'm glad you are okay xx

buggeringbt · 03/11/2011 19:42

There is always someone worse off...
leavingaa.com/?page_id=59#comment-92

Mouseface · 03/11/2011 20:08

BT - I have reported your post. Again. The link is foul.

Please do go away. You are not helping, nor welcome here with posts like that.

How utterly ridiculous! Of course there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you.

Every single time.

No-one is saying anything to the contrary.

People die every day. Young and old, and somewhere in between, and who we believe have been taken from us oh so unfairly.

I have been there. Of course there are people worse off.

My doctor said that exact same phrase to me when I asked for help after my triplet boys died.

'Remember Mouse, there is always someone worse off than you'

No shit Sherlock. But your loss, your pain, your life and your sorrow is far more important than anyone else.

Please, just go away.

buggeringbt · 03/11/2011 20:31

It is shit phrase, and you illustrated the shitness of the phrase. I would have thumped the doctor. There is a philosphical term for that approach. It was shit and I apologise. But some people need a lot of help to escape from AA. And the help is there. Stinkin-thinkin was closed due to death threats from AA members. Who no doubt thought that they were being, 'helpful'.

The stinkin-thinkin archives are up, but without the comments.

buggeringbt · 03/11/2011 20:36

The owners of the site were threatened with violence by some of The AA community, who appear to have had a serenity bypass. They have withdrawn, but they have put the archives up for posterity.

Mouseface · 03/11/2011 20:41

BT - the people on THIS thread, don't need nor want help to 'break free from AA'. That's what we are trying to tell you.

You are banging your drum ever so loudly in the wrong thread and as you have been asked before, I'd like you to please STOP.

We're in the UK. We have no links to the US version of AA, nor do we want them.

Please stop posting stuff from the US about incidents that you have been told happen there, or even here.

Step away form the thread, you are doing more harm than good.

Please, just go away. Leave the thread and stop disrupting the work that so many good natured, kind hearted people do here to support one another on a daily, hourly even basis.

Mouseface · 03/11/2011 20:43

I don't condone violence, threats or nasty remarks of any nature.

However, just because SOME individuals have behaved in such a manner, it doesn't have any relation to the posters here who find AA an absolute lifeline.

Again, you are banging your drum on the wrong thread.....

Fairenuff · 03/11/2011 20:51

Well said Mouse x

Bproud · 03/11/2011 20:52

I have reported BT

DOTV if you are in the Thames valley or southern region, I will be happy to come with you to an AA meeting.

buggeringbt · 03/11/2011 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

sillysillymum · 03/11/2011 21:03

I have reported BT also.

Thinking of everyone else.

X

Mouseface · 03/11/2011 21:04

Thank you Faire xx

Bproud - good thinking.

I have reported and given reasons why.

BT - the only person who needs to leave is YOU!

I'm going to bed. I have no more energy left to fight this fight tonight. I hope you are proud of yourself BT for upsetting yet more people.

Babes - be safe and be sure. You know what works for YOU. No-one can tell you any different. It has to be your decision.

Always.

Night xx

Fairenuff · 03/11/2011 21:10

I don't think BT is reading or responding, just posting. Not very bright if they can't understand they're on the wrong thread though Grin.

Anyhoo, another day nearly done here. Can't believe it's Friday already tomorrow, this week's gone so fast!

buggeringbt · 03/11/2011 21:17

MNassive has spent 36 years in AA. She knows what she is talking about. She is passionate.

notneverasaint · 04/11/2011 08:14

Actually Mouse it was the similarities that made me come back. Because unlike what buggering thinks, AA has taught me that my past is my greatest asset today because it means I can understand that yes, I too, could put my nephew at risk and nearly burn the house down. And I don't judge DOTV for it but can tell her that it doesn't have to be like this any longer.

Insanely busy here - but lots of love to all. x

Snapespeare · 04/11/2011 09:22

Dotv! how are things with you today? :)

I had a single glass of wine last night. This is better than a bottle. I will be drinking tomorrow night, in moderation, maximum three units. so will abstain tonight. I think my goal at the moment is to stick within the 14 unit weekly guideline and hope to have the three days 'off' recommended. I don't want to give up completely, I want to have a healthy attitude towards alcohol, if such a thing is possible. :)

sending support and good thoughts to you all.

:)

Dependantonthevino · 04/11/2011 10:15

Today is day 3 - DH bought DD round this morning for breakfast; she made me more determined that I can do this.

I understand why you all think DH's parents would be supportive - but I know they wouldnt be. In my community/culture/religion it is forbidden to drink - they are teetotal and have never touched a drop in their lives, they would be disgusted if they found out.

Hoping to get through today, need to find a job and work out what Im going to do long term. Been out of work for 4 years. I can and will do this, I will become the person I want to be, not the person Ive become.

BTW, I found AA counsellor really helpful. I cant do the meetings but we talked for over an hour yesterday. The doctor did say that I would need to wind down the drink rather than stop all together but I know I cant do one drink... I feel so much fresher today; I dont know if I am doing the right thing but they put me in touch with a drug and alchohol addiction counsellor so will discuss with them.

Also really worried about the results of the blood tests. The bruising is so bad - after talking to the AA counsellor i now know they you are much more likely to bruise easy if your liver is struggling.....