Plenty of Fish, yes, but where are the men? Dating chat thread #4

[lubeybooby]

A new one (again)

Dating, internet dating, all kinds of dating.... chat about it here.

Off you go! :o

im in for losing a stone too. Im a 14 and need to be a 12.

i nearly was a 12 before all the summer rum/food that follows rum/ hangover curing food.

Started back on a diet today actually :)

snape - join!!

time/lubey/zany. I think its really common. Im almost in the same boat. New to the area post seperation. Work with a small team of just women, all older than me, no interest in going out. Few friends in the area, all with families, dont want to go out. Sister is ok for going out sometimes, but only to cineman/meal. I talk to school gate mums, ( heck, i talk to anyone!) but that hasnt lead anywhere. and my damn dog has yet to introduce me to prince charming in 10 years of walking him.

Time - really hope you havefun tomorrow.

Im confused/perplexed with AD. Hes texting me, i reply, and then we have a few texts swapped and then he just stops. No, catch you later, just stops replying. Thats a bit crap huh. ( am thinking about cancelling, because he lives over an hour away, and i cant see how even if we did get on, that we would even get to see each other very often at all... )

On my phone as my mate has pinched my computer. Successfully defuzzed, tidy house...imagine he will get here about half nine ten. will read back tomorrow, but hope everyone is alright!

Watch re ad and texting. I hate that and find it quite rude. I was seeing a guy like that and he was a player though it doesn't mean ad is. You might find after the date he improves text wise.

shiney Same size, same star sign but I have more than 2 size 12 tops but there's not much fun in that when you can't get into them. I do like the extra boobage I have gained though, will miss that.

watch Thank you! I'm starting to over think a little. It's obvious he's a bit keen for it to work out, one of the reasons I've avoided dating him for so long in the first place. I'm excited at the prospect of a date but not so excited at the prospect of missing out on lots of fun settling down with one date so early on in my single life. I'm 47, not had much experience of men, am at an age where I am more confident than I have ever been in my life, love my life and want to continue loving it. I'm sort of closing the door before it's even opened here. But what if I like him!! I'm going to be trapped stuck. And I don't like the thought of that.

I think I have ishoos

And also, I'm thinking a bit like you watch. This guy is a single parent to 2 kids, lives about a 30 minute drive away, he drives, I don't have a car and it's 2 buses for me to get there, his ex only has the kids on a Friday night so he won't be free to come here after DD is in bed, he won't be free much at all really, apart from sometime during the day as he is self employed. He want's a fairytale ending, love, romance, a wife. I don't. So even if I do like him, how is that going to work? double

Hi all. I'm quite glad I live a few thousand miles away from you people 'cos I'd have a very hard time deciding who I'd most want to spend time with! You're all attractive people in body and mind and you bring a range of personality traits, attitudes and quirks.

The size / body image thing is interesting. I'm a bigger guy and I know I need to lose a substantial amount of weight. Commonsense suggests I should get off my lard arse and start walking and eat less and better and lose the weight. I might start tomorrow. Yeah right. I've always said that the first step to attracting someone is to be attractive. The first step in being loved is to be loveable. None of us are inherently ugly people. None of us come across as having personality traits that render us unloveable. Our best bet is to be proactive in working on fine-tuning ourselves and at the same time exploring every avenue of interaction... online or in the "real world".

That should have been size / body / self image... they're all inter-twined.

I think you should just go and have fun and enjoy it for what it is.
Ive been put off by men that are over keen. It annoys me. A lot.
And I don't want to do long distance again ( having been married to forces... The ultimate long distance)
But go and see What happens.

Stay , yeah its rude. That and the distance has just blown it for me and I'm going to cancel.
Have a lovely time this weekend :)

Have been chatting to someone else interesting who's just asked me out. Will arrange a coffe/ daytime thing I think.

Are you joining us with the diet then PoppaRob?

As for the other stuff, I don't have a problem with my self image as such, I do like/love myself, I like what I see when I look in the mirror and that has been a long time coming! I actually feel attractive. (sounds very vain but I'm not, honest I'm not) I just want to lose the weight because I can feel it and I don't like it. I don't like seeing all those clothes hanging in my wardrobe while I am limited to the few items that I have bought in a bigger size. I don't have the money to replace all my clothes so I am on a mission to get back to the size where I feel most comfortable. That's me fine tuning myself

Time! don't write the story before you're anywhere near it happening! My ex lived an hour away but we were both self employed so stuck to mostly daytimes at first apart from when DD was away and i could go to his, then once he knew my DD we started with evenings.

And back to what I was saying the other day about the love stuff, if it happens it happens gradually. You don't go straight from date to domestic bliss. I had a very sucessful 40 mins away relationship with my exdh for 3.5 years before we lived together.

IF the date works out and all that, you'll work it out as you go along and do what you can when you can and it will be FINE :o

Time - Stop overthinking! You are going on A date. I doubt he will be proposing quite yet! If you like him that much after the date you wont care about going to have fun. Until such time that you do like him that much, its fun and you can still date whoever. You just be straight with him. If you dont like him that much, plenty more fish in that sea! I felt a little the same when I started dating he who shall be known as twat head, but I can say 2 months on and dating S i really dont care what fun I may be missing out on...because I am having fun with him alone! If its right for you, you will know. ;)

Thanks watch. Are you sure you want to cancel? It might be worth one date?

Oh... diet stuff. Hmmm well I'm not starting this weekend but possibly Monday. I'll do what I did earlier this year, which was just keeping a food diary on foodfocus.co.uk and cal counting and making the 'diet' up myself. Lost 26lb doing that and have gained 10lb back so I'm still just over a stone down... need to keep it that way plus another 20lb off and I will be back in my 16's and rejoicing!

It's him being a tad over keen that is making me feel this way watch. He does know the score, I've told him how I feel but he will insist on mentioning the 'fairytale ending' and hoping we click. Anyway, we will see. It's a night out

I don't think so. It's going to cost me £ 20 just to get there. Then even if I only spend £20.... That's £ 40 on one date, that's not going to go anywhere because having just googled its nearer 2 hours drive. And moneys tight right now.
Plus the text thing. And he's off travelling again in 2 months.

Yep, it's a night out.

If you like him and see more of him and eventually fall in love, you'll work it out as you go at a pace that suits you.

If he likes you and you don't like him, then it will just be ended/fizzle out/whatever

Relaaaax :)

Ok. I will try to control my over thinking I know what I'm doing while I'm doing it but it doesn't stop me doing it. I just can't help it. I'm a seasoned red flag spotter you know, it's hard not to pick up on little things when you are so well trained

Watch I agree re: AD - rude and doesn't seem worth it when you put it like that

And, just for the record, I do do my own head in!!!

Glug. Glug glug. [hhmm]

Watch - yep then, it doesnt sound worth the effort.

Time - I do my own head in on a daily basis! This is true.

stay are you fresh Not long now and he will be with you!!

I'm glad it's just not me who is a head case. I am so bloody fickle!! I don't know what I want! I've just had a look at my messages on POF mingers and suddenly the fairytale ending doesn't seem such a bad option

Time, I agree with the see how it goes advice. You might not feel the spark, it might not work out, but if you do, and it's meant to be, then it will all work out somehow :)

Watch, I can see why you might not be that bothered about date. Could you not meet closer to where you live to cut your travel costs? If not, then I can see why you'd rather save the £40!

I will join you all in the losing a stone for Xmas. I stupidly optimistically bet someone I will lose 1.5 stone by then, not sure it's going to happen though

I am fresh and one glass in. He will be here any minute! I have arranged for my friends bf to answer the door and put the shitters up him. He will like that