Plenty of Fish, yes, but where are the men? Dating chat thread #4

[lubeybooby]

A new one (again)

Dating, internet dating, all kinds of dating.... chat about it here.

Off you go! :o

He could have been appointed as a Director too so although not a part owner still a very high salary important job. Dealing with finances.

Have faith lubey there is still time for him to contact you. Seems a bit odd to do a vanishing act mid conversation, there must be good reason for his disappearance, mustn't there?

Yes, I'm excited for you too stay and can't wait for the update

Zany why do you think dating sites are the only way you are likely to meet someone?

I don't know about Zany, Time but for me it's pretty much the same.

I don't have a social circle and work alone from home so no office banter. DD is 15 so no school gate mums and I know no one. Moved here for marriage and when that ended, mutual friends sided with him. I literally have no one!

I've joined meet up groups (meetup.com) but as i don't drive the meets can be a sod to get to. I've managed one though

Trying to build my social life but it's a v slow process.

Also looking for part time work outside the home to go alongside my business just for meeting people... but jobs are like rocking horse shit here at the moment.

So til then, online is literally all I have.

Well lubey you are certainly putting in the effort to put yourself out there. I applaud you for that.

I suppose I'm in a similar situation when I look at it like that, the only difference being I still have the school run. As for a social life, I don't have one! I lost all my friends while I was with him so although I have people I am friendly with, I have no 'going out' friends. I am unemployed so there's no hope there but I am determined to get a job which involves meeting and mingling with many people. I'm a very sociable person so being isolated doesn't suit me at all.

I go out walking a lot and come across people that way and I do make a point of attending community events such a summer fayres, the bonfire, and Christmas events and I have a great time, the locals are lovely but are all married to each other. I have this dream that a lovely tall, well built man, with a nice smile, warm eyes and a cosy fleece turns up at the bonfire and sweeps me off my feet

Until then, I guess I'm stuck with the dating sites too.

Isolation doesn't suit me either, not at all. I'm very happy with my own company and rarely bored, but having NO options for going out really does suck.

I have loads of online friends dotted around the country, some I've been friends with for ten years and met, gone out with say once a year... but none nearby.

Another bastard thing when my DD was smaller I didn't have anyone to babysit. Now I don't need a sitter the one or two people remaining in this town I could have possibly gone out with have got fed up of me not being able to go out, stopped asking, defriended off fb and buggered off to surrounding villages - plus they have wee babies now and the problem in reverse.

I could honestly weep at how everything has consipired so thoroughly against me having a social life! I don't though I just get on with it, but it does hurt sometimes and feel awfully lonely when my DD is away and I'm in alone again on weekend nights, and I observe other peoples sucessful social circles and regular goings out and feel a whole lot of envy.

I'm just glad I was an only child for the first ten years of my life... I got used to making my own entertainment and keeping busy. I'd be in a straitjacket by now if it wasn't for my natural ability to cope with alone time and the childhood, I think.

I also joined fishingforafriend and met a nice woman on there having the same probs as me but she is a 40 min train ride and one change away even though it's the same county. Gah.

It does suck lubey, I really feel for you. I'm not too bad at the moment but I go through phases of wishing I had someone to get out and about with.

I don't rate those friends of yours, not such good friends if they didn't stick by you, to the point of defriending you from FB too. That's awful!!

I was thinking just the other day that if I am to get out and about then I am going to have to get used to going on my own. Out for meals, pictures, maybe even a pub if I can find a nice one where I would feel comfortable on my own. Bit like the Woolpack in Emmerdale

It's a shame you don't live near me lubey we would have some grand nights out!!

Been at asda otherwise I think I would have replied exactly as Lubey did. I work with just a few older men and one woman who's life is full of husband and amazing friends (Me? envious) so they don't socialise. When I split with XH all our mutual friends sided with him as he played the 'I am a victim' card so I don't socialise with them.

Of the rest of my friends they are either not interested in going out, married or have young babies. or try and give me a bad reputation like my friend last week. That leaves bumping into Mr Prince Charming on a dog walk which is just unrealistic as if I did meet someone nice they would probably be in a relationship. So that leaves the joys of internet dating.

I have been tempted to join a 'social group' to widen my friend circle but too chicken and an ex is a member of one so I don't want this thinkI am stalking him.

Have just booked my defuzzing beauty treatments for Saturday, so I'm looking fab for my date - he better bloody not cancel!!! Have missed you lot over the past few days but have been working solidly, but have 4 days off now :)

I have a hair appointment tomorrow but NO idea if I have a date or not still. He still hasn't been online, I suppose while he hasn't logged on there's a chance he was logging in on his phone and the credit has gone. Either that or a total, barefaced vanish.

Anyway, shall I have a sweep fringe tomorrow? I fancy a change. My hair has been the same just various different lengths since I was 14. Never had any kind of fringe....

Oh and I can recommend meetup.com, there are different groups with different interests for every area. The ones I've joined do singles nights, cinema, pub, days out with and without kids, dvd nights, allsorts - they just tend to be drive to only locations. I managed to get to a pub quiz once but they change the venue monthly so waiting for it to come back to my direct area again

I get you Zany. I guess I've just been happy to leave things to fate until now, plus I've not been all that bothered really. But I wouldn't say I want to spend the rest of my life sat in the house eating Whole Nut!

You can create your own meet ups too but before I do some for my town I want to make it to a few more and be a bit more well known in the group.

Time I left things to fate for ages before I realised one day that I hadn't had a housewarming party. I tried to write a guest list and couldn't think of one single person that would actually attend without fail.

I've been trying to improve things since then but it's going to take having a local, part time people job I think to really get anywhere.

Yes lubey, definitely go for the sweeping fringe. A change is as good as a rest , so they say! I dyed my hair purple last night, well, blackcurrant, and have had a few compliments today. I like it. I feel dead sassy!

I had a look at meetup.com but the Huddersfield area didn't come up. I would gladly go along to the things they have to offer, it sounds great. I drive but have no car, can't afford a car until I get a well paid job so am stuck with buses. Having said that I'm loving not having the expense and hassle of a car so might not get one even when I do have a job!

I'm having my fucking bastard grey roots done and a trim so going to ask for a fringe too I think. Eeeek! I can always grow it quite fast I suppose if it's the sweepy type so not really that daring but will be interesting. :o

IT sounds very weird Lubey that he would cancel halfway through a sentance. I bet his phone has run out of battery/credit. The last few times I had a party I mad eit family only so that I wouldn't feel like billy no mates, luckily my family is quite big.

So tell us about your date Charlotte

Still lurking. Lubey sweeping fringe would look good on you, go for it.

Hope the dates go well to those of you who have plans.

Shame a few of you are a bit isolated. You would think this is where internet dating comes into it's own. At least to get you out and maybe make friends with people who are in the same boat. I know I've met a few men who are internet dating for this reason, it shouldn't be difficult.

I have family round me, although I don't go on 'girls nights out' very often nowadays. Tend to get together with mates once in a blue moon but that's enough as I do thing once you hit 50 you tend to outgrow it a bit.

Yeah lubey if you don't like it you can always grow it out but I think it will look great. You then need to get a couple of new photo's put on your profile, see if having a 'sweeping fringe' pulls you a different kind of bloke. I might do the same with my new hair colour

I'm still looking forward to The Date tomorrow. He has made it clear that he is hoping we click so that he can come off the site and stop looking. He hates it due to having attracted and met some proper weirdos. His words. Me, well I'm kinda hoping we don't click so that I get the chance to put myself about a bit meet different people, cos I've led too much of a sheltered life to be tied down after the first date.

I'm going on a diet too. I'm going to shift this extra stone I'm lugging about so I can get back into all the clothes I have hanging in my wardrobe. I'm sure to feel better when I can wear more than the couple of outfits I have to stick to! Just saying

That is part of my plan too Time :o I have a Beeeeyootiful size 16 wardrobe awaiting me, all nice classic stuff still wearable. I need it!! Gah feck off Whole Nut :o

yeah, feck off Whole Nut! Who needs ya!

Right lubey when are we starting and what's your plan? I'm starting tomorrow but am including a couple of glasses of wine and I'm doing low carb. I want to be back in my lovely clothes by Christmas and I am going to get a load of dates lined up to see me through the holiday season. I shall be maintaining my standards when it comes to romantic encounters but I shall be relaxing them a little in order to meet new people. Now THAT is a plan!!

checking in with no news really- a couple of blokes i liked on guardian soulmates have 'liked'me back, so i might need to shell-out for a subscription for a month. an investment right?

looking forward to your date night successes! :)

Hurray!! Shiny is back. Size 14 here with size 12 clothes in wardrobe, mocking me Let's get this party started!!