Plenty of Fish, yes, but where are the men? Dating chat thread #4

[lubeybooby]

A new one (again)

Dating, internet dating, all kinds of dating.... chat about it here.

Off you go! :o

Curiouser and curiouser with the one I suspect to be dodgy ex boss. He looks quite like him in two of his pics, but from another angle in another pic, he doesn't. He is originally from Leicester and now in another town which is the same as ex boss or very close to it anyway. He says things that are a bit deja vu. He reckons he has a different name and doesn't have msn, but he said he would set one up to chat with me. Ex boss had several msn sign ins so that's another sort of similarity.... and they are in the same sort of biz.

Maybe he hasn't recognised me because I'm sure he wouldn't be giving as much away if he had. Am baffled :o but it's quite funny and if it is him I so want my £50 dammit.

Oh hell, I have had a bad few nights with poorly kids & have woken up feeling awful- the lurgy has got me. How am I going to shift it before my date tomorrow? So unfair to be ill on my 'me' weekend!
I love the idea if a wireless update through the evening!
Zany you must win this weeks prize for dates, how will you fit them all in?!

Oh no wriggly, not this horrible cold lurgy that's going around? If it is I'm sorry to say the second day was the worst for me. Really hope you're ok

Thanks Lubey, the kids have had cough, cold, high temp, ear issues etc so it could be anything- probably exhaustion. But date is now coming to mine and bringing the food and cooking for me, utter bliss! This exploration of other types is really quite fun, he is very kind hearted and caring. Hopefully I can get a good sleep tonight & be back on sparkling form tomorrow.

I love being cooked for. Nothing better than a nice chunk of MAN cooking for me and being all gorgeous in my kitchen while I stand there sipping wine and eyeing up their arse :o

So with you Lubey....roll on tomorrow night!

Morning folks!

One more sleep to Date Night!!

stay have you rung OU yet? How are you? Silly question I know

wriggly sorry you aren't feeling too good but how nice of new man to come round and cook for you! Tis a long long time since a man cooked for me.

So being struck down by the lurgy is not all bad. I've done some mutual winking at a guy on Match (but I don't subscribe, so not sure if I will follow that thread, but he looks interesting). I also emailed a guy I've messaged before but it didn't go anywhere to say sod it, the sun is shining, you are seriuosly fit, what are you doing on Sunday, can we meet mid way for lunch.
All just in case Friday night does not set off fireworks. I could get used to this leisure time, I can never surf enough at work & am too tired in the evenings. But I have decided that I need an iPad!

So, when in the proceedings do you stop winking and flirting at other men? I think, if tomorrow goes well, it would feel wrong for me to be winking and flirting while working on this one. Am I being 'old' again?

Feeling brave, nearly called Friday's date off but had phone conversation and have arranged time and location.
Now heels or flats? He says 6' but he may be lying and don't want to overshadow the poor dear :)

Time I was wondering the same & agree with you. This Internet dating is a strange world, but if I slept with felt connected with some one, I would expect both of us to back away from POF etc. But Internet dating is so flaky that I currently feel the need to keep my options open.
The Match bloke has now messaged me, bugger. Is it worth a £4.99 week worth of subscription to read his message, maybe I'll wait until Saturday. But then again I'm bored & poorly.... Decisions decisions!

Am pleased you didn't call it off! We are all comparing notes afterwards We need a spreadsheet!!

I'm wearing heels. I'm 5ft 9 n a half (note how I am picking up on Fish Speak??) and date says he is 6ft 3in so I should get away with it. Might struggle to walk but at least I won't overshadow him

Pretty go for it and wear whatever you feel most confident in, how tall are you? Maybe it will teach him to be more truthful in his profile if you suddenly tower over his 5'6" frame!

NO wriggly put away the credit/debit card!! Twill not be worth it, trust me. I have experience. Although mine was a free trial but it still wasn't worth it.

I know what you mean about being bored though, I'm bored too and that combined with an active dating site is a dangerous combination! I've had a couple of chats but I'm not agreeing to any meet ups until after Friday and if Friday goes well then I think I will concentrate on him. I can always get stuck back in if or when things turn sour.

And I do have my back up queue

Pretty I agree with wriggly, you should wear what you want so if that is heels then go for it!! We are not out to please these men, we are out to see if these men have what it takes to please US!

Time - id say keep your options open. Until you have the ' are we exclusive' chat, then its fine to see/talk to other people.
You could go weeks 'just dating' without having this chat as well.
Its a lot more flakier than rl dating, or even how it used to be, totally different ball game.

I, personally, cant handly ' dating' more than 3 at a time, because i start to get confused ( which doenst take alot!)
But, a date is just that..' a date' it is not a sign of a relationship, or even a hint of a promised relationship,its just a few hours hanging out together.

I hope you both have fab dates :) cant wait to hear all about it.

wriggly - ive paid for sites in the past and can say that they are no better than the free ones. Its not worth the spend.

Really, watch? Gosh, totally not what I'm used to. But, I guess you are right, being younger more up on these things than me. I shall take your advice because once I've started I'm not stopping until I've ended up with Mr Perfect

So, another question, of inexperience even if you are dating, snogging and sexing do you still carry on fishing until you have The Talk or, is it assumed that you are exclusive if you are doing everything on the list? Or is that setting oneself up for a fall?

nope, never assume you are exclusive, or even 'seeing each other' until you have had the talk.
otherwise that is setting yourself up for a fall. And its a fall ive had before. And a fall many others have had before.
AND - even if a date goes really well, they still might not call. AND, you can have quite a few dates, only for them to vanish of the face of the earth.

Seriously, totally different ball game.

( have been online dating for over 2 years.. just my experiences of it)

Time I find if you are wondering whats happening and they are still using dating sites etc say... past three dates in then they are not that into you/don't want anything serious/are on the lookout for something better.

That's my experience of it

When I've coupled up from an online date neither of us have been bothered about logging in from quite early on... two or three dates ish and the exclusive chat happened around then, and that was it.

Everyone is different though. I think it's a go with the flow thing, you can't assume, but if it's turning into a relationship it should be obvious and you both be comfortable discussing it. Always has been for me anyway.

Mmm. 'Stuff' to think about. Play it by ear it is then. I guess if he is still signing into POF it means he is still looking so that's a pretty good indicator. And if he is then I shall meet Mr Second in the queue for a coffee! I have an outfit I need to get my moneys worth out of!

I have noticed though, that he is only signing into Fish for our chats on a night..... But he is almost 54 so maybe he is of old style dating too

ive had ones do that too. or take them selves off the site totally.

Watch thanks for the advice, credit card is away & i'm retreating until after my Friday night date.
Dating 3 at a time, I reckon I'm a decent multi-tasker, but that is going some! I look forward to being flush enough with offers to try that out.
Time I identify with so much that you are saying, I feel so much better about the whole ID thing after finding you guys :-)

I think it's reasonable to still be signing in up to 3rd/4th date, longer than that if you still chat to each other on there rather than phone or whatever... but if you get much past that point and you don't feel comfortable having the chat, or isn't just flowing naturally into something more with no second guessing and no effort, then they are not that into you or just womanising for the sake of it etc etc. Watch is right too about the vanishers... that does happen sometimes despite everything appearing to go really well.

Obviously that's if you are wanting a relationship and not something more casual, in which case pretty much anything goes (but you still get vanishers)

I reckon I could physically cope with the multi tasking, it's my mind that will need the adjustment, it's not conditioned to be 'seeing' more than one man at a time. I wouldn't mind giving it a go though, I'm all for trying something new!

This thread has been brilliant for me wriggly I feel like a different woman to the one I was when I first started posting. Thanks to the lovely girls and boys on here