No I wouldnt have started a relationship if I had known the full story, stupidly I beleived him when he said nothing was going on. I am starting to feel angry now, with the assitance of the muse CD in my car, im getting there.
Im defo not protecting him anymore, I havent told people, but enough people know for the news to be spreading. Im letting them do the work for me. I didnt tell his parents, as the moment never arose. His brother now knows fully what has happened, and im sure he will have told them, his parents were strangely cold the last few days so I guess that he told them.
Spain was hard, worth it for seeing DD enjoy GP company alone, however im glad I dont have to do it again unless I choose too. There werent horrible, they just werent anything. They didnt talk of it at all, its like they hadnt even known. They were aware of the online dating, but not the adultery, but as I say they will most likely know now.
STBXH said yesterday that he will only be having DD 1 in every 3 weekends, which I feel is very poor. He had originally said he wants her every other weekend, but clearly his social life gets in the way of DD.
Im meant to be moving out of the house on wednesday, but I dont want to, its DDs home, its where she feels safe and happy, and all she knows. I want to tell him im not leaving the house, but I havent got the guts to do so. I want to tell him that I expect him to pay half the mortgage (he is named on it and the deeds). I cant afford it by myself, but I dont think DD should have to loose her home because of that. He thinks at the moment that he is moving back on thursday (his 30th birthday - mid life crisis??), and that he is going to get a lodger to occupy DDs room, and then that the house will be sold in a years time when the market is better. However, his boss pulled me aside and told me that he has no intention of letting the house be sold. Ok so his boss could be lying, but why would he tell me that. His boss also let on that H spent last week drunk, and that he is thin ice at work, and that I shouldnt trust him to keep up with the mortgage.
I can afford the house by myself, if im careful, as my tax credits are based on last year and I was on maternity pay so they are slightly higher, but as of April they will be at a lower level because of my returning to work, and that whats worries me, suddenly not be able to afford it.
Also by staying i'll be away from the support of my family, which has been invaluable. I know the answer in what legally I should do lies with the solicitor, but I cant get an appointment, and I need to act very quickly. He has DD tonight (which makes me feel sick to the core, I agree he needs to make more effort her, but I miss her so much, especially after seeing that awful video of the little girl in China, I just want her near). He will dropping her over on his way to work 2moro morning at 9am, and I need to confront him on it :(