The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are.

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

Isindebettelace - beautiful post and a lovely way to think. I will light a candle too

Hey Ma
could you just really quickly wake him up, and drag walk, stagger him to his room, he might just fall into bed without really waking up.

Candle lit.

Mouse I hope you can find a moment of quiet calm tomorrow and that the pain isn't too bad, both physically and emotionally. x

venus my thoughts are with you also x

And for all who have lost or are suffering x

Ma - you need to get him to bed bless your heart. I know, DD is the same. She hates not sleeping in her bed.

Have you tried to wake him a little and tell him what you are doing?

I used to say 'It's ok, it's mummy, I'm taking you to bed, we're going up the stairs, etc......'

Can you manage to stand him?

I've lit my candle too.
Thurso how are you doing today? Did your talk with DH help?
Mouse, Venus, MsGee ((hugs)) to you
Thinice & Obrigada stay strong, you are doing so well
waves and mwas to everyone else

Hi, my friends,

just had a read back.

I too struggle with wondering what the Higher purpose is sometimes. I think and think, and try to rationalise, and wish that I could know that "the answer was blowin' in the wind", but it's not that easy to let go, and not think that there is something that one could/should/might have done to make things better, or horrid things not happen to people we love.

I believe that we can only give out as much love, compassion, honesty, trust and truth as we can, and let the world turn.

I believe this, but, it's bloody hard to do it sometimes.

Sorry if this is nonsensical,
xxxx

BB X posted

Yes, it did help, but, not as much as your pm [kiss] ! xx

noteven - thank you xx

IsinDe - and you. xx

To you all, for the kind words and thoughts.

Thank you for your support and encouragement.
I am in a very petulant rage, feeling fairly sorry for myself. Although I have a wide range of weaknesses and faults, self pity isn?t often one of them.
Anyway, at least I am crossly sober. noteven I have to wait until Monday because I am either working or without childcare. It might be a tricky weekend.
However, on the positive side, if I have a self destructive mania for oblivion which will wreck all I hold dear, and I accept this could be called a disease, how much luckier am I than those who could not influence their destiny towards the outcomes they wished for.

I am, at the moment, blessed with a choice. Drink and bereave my children (emotionally or actual fact) or don?t drink and be a participant for as long as I?ve got?
Therefore what?s in it for me to be drunk?

Checking in.

My Mum had her biopsy yesterday,so 5 - 10 days for results and then she can start treatment.

I have been thinking exactly the same - why her? never smoked, not a big drinker, overweight but who isn't......(cancer - possibly kidney or lyphoma)

fallen out big time with DP - asked him to do one simple thing to help yesterday, while I'm sorting out my Mum in hospital, and he managed, as always to make it all complicated. Am having BIG doubts about our relationship (5 years)

I feel trapped because my DD (11) adores him and she has dealt with losing one father (to alcoholism)when she was 6 and I don't want her to lose another

BUT - sometimes I just think life would be so much simpler if it was just me and her

AArgh

TWUNT

Mouse, Venus and all of you

Positive thoughts being sent your way

bed calling - got to make up time at work tomorrow for being off to sort Mum out.

Sorry to blart on about me - but the beauty of this thread is that I know none of you care and just want to help

Sweet dreams if you can babes xxxxxxxxxxx

MsGee big hugs xxxx

Isindie - missed you me old mukka mucka mucca - not a real word is it

Ma - inclined to say just leave him, go to bed and deal with the fallout - erm not sure - but if you can't lift him then not much choice - my nephew is 11 and the size of an adult rugby player - so sort of know what you are saying.

Night BB's

xxxxxxxx

thinice good point. That sort of thinking kind of explains how you're managing to do so well. It's tough but very, very real. Keep it in the moment. You know you will be glad tomorrow. Don't think about the weekend, it's not here yet.

I will be having a sober Thursday if anyone wants to join me. Just for the day. Not thinking any further ahead than that.

Silver my MIL is being treated for cancer. Lovely lady, never smoked, healthy diet and lifestyle. The best MIL you could ask for. Actually thanked me for letting her look after my dcs, can you believe! Bad things happening to good people .

Ma I think you should wake him. Help him stumble off to bed, he'll be back to sleep in no time. Probably won't even remember it in the morning and will wonder why he's still wearing yesterday's clothes .

Candle lit here too. Xx

Silver

I'm so sorry about your mum. Promise you'll call if you need anything, even help with DD. Okay? I know we're miles apart but you know I know you!

As for DP, you have to be selfish right now, you have to do what is best for you. You are coping with so much. Let yourself 'be' for a while. Please? xx

And here for the candle xx

Life is shit and then we die, but thurso is right, we just have to get on with it and try to improve our own little corner.
Silver I am so sorry to hear about your Mum, I am sure she really appreciates what you are doing for her. This is probably not the best time to be reassessing your relationship with DP, concentrate on your Mum for now.
thinice I have experienced that rage as well, try not to make it 'poor me, poor me, pour me another', you can overpower the rage with pride and self esteem when you add another drink free day to your tally.

Well, bed is calling.

Tomorrow is going to be so very, very hard. I will be all that I can be for her, my darling friend. I will miss her, the final goodbye is so extremely hard. The letting go....

I'll be back later tomorrow wonderful babes.

Sleep well.

Night xxxxx

Gosh, I'm so very sorry to hear that you are all having such a hard time

It's all awful and so hard to understand. It really does seem to be everywhere, dh lost his father very recently, the most wonderful man and some days it just doesn't feel real.

Sending you all lots of (((())))

Faire, I think the reason I'm saying I will drink on Friday is so that I won't have felt like I've fucked it up if I do, if that makes sense? Hope so. Your plan of sober Tuesday helped me immensely and I've now had a sober Wednesday too, so thank you :)
Thanks to all of you. This thread is helping me so much.

xxx

Lots of love for tomorrow mouse xxx

candle lit here
silver my thoughts are with you and your mum
The Boy semi-woke so I seized the moment to zombie shuffle him to bed, still in his clothes. God, he's a big lump! He's fast asleep, duvet smoothed to within an inch of its life, each side equidistant. At least he'll feel reassured when he wakes up.
night all
had a couple of glasses but don't want the rest....

Hi everyone, just checking in. Went to my club night, then drove past where I would usually buy a bottle of wine on the way home, and came home without wine.

Didn't do the usual mind games, such as "if there is no parking space I wont go in and buy a bottle" but always making sure I found a parking space, or "if there is no special offer on I won't buy a bottle", just decided that tonight I am not getting a bottle of wine.

Am thinking of all of you who are sad and unhappy tonight - sending hugs and good thoughts.

Tonight I am going to bed sober.

Modes - well done, that is fantastic.

Melody- I've also managed sober Tuesday and Wednesday and hope to join you and the others for sober Thursday tomorrow

Mouse - I will be thinking if you and your dear friend tomorrow. I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Take care x

Morning all.

Sending you all positive thoughts and resolve for the day ahead.

Morning everyone,

Mouse thinking of you today.xx

Venus Sending you, and your daughter love and prayers.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

xxxx