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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

999 replies

Mouseface · 03/10/2011 10:24

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are. Smile

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

OP posts:
thursomuchtolookforwardto · 12/10/2011 07:45

Morning all

Long day at work today, and off in a sec.

Happy middle of the week!

Mouse try to have a quietish day today, and try not to wind yourself up tomorrow, lovely. xx (easier said than done, I do know).

Venus Sending you and DD all the best wishes in the world. Hope all went well, and that you managed some sleep.

Inde I've missed you, glad to hear from you.xxx

Speak later today, Babes, and thank you for your kind words yesterday.
Much love
xxx

swallowedAfly · 12/10/2011 08:37

morning.

thinking of you venus x

mouse is funeral today or tomorrow?

i actually got a decent night's sleep Smile

isindie - that's what happened last time i had a drink - i could feel the effect and didn't actually like it Confused

there is a quarter of a bottle of red wine in my house and has been the whole 19 days i've not been drinking. whenever i'm taking out juice or tonic from the drinks cupboard it tips out at me and i think of throwing it away but don't. i think i find it reassuring it's being there as in i'm not just not drinking because i don't have any - it's there and i could drink it if i wanted to but i choose not to.

well done to all the newbies who are doing so well - sorry to be vague on names - not all that switched on at the moment.

tooth is killing - wish someone would knock me out and pull it out for me.

swallowedAfly · 12/10/2011 08:38

oh yes and happy hump day Smile

dementedma · 12/10/2011 08:40

another one just checking in on a cold rainy morning.
Indie I SUPPOSE we'll have you back
Thurso pmd you.
venus hope things are better with DD today
noteven stay in bed with a hot lemsip!
Cidre, Modre, Faire, Help, Bafanga(love the name) - well done to all of you !!!

MsGee · 12/10/2011 09:00

Had coffee, feel slightly more boing now!

venus how is DD today, hope the operation went ok and DD is doing ok. You must be exhausted, physically and emotionally, please take care of yourself. x

melody well done on sober tuesday - and Modre Faire and everyone else who had a sober tuesday. How does sober wednesday feel?

noteven hope you feel better soon. I have a theory ... you have been under so much stress and pressure that now DD is back and all signed off by LA, your body has decided to relax for a second and wham. illness. all I am saying is that you need to give your body time to heal at this point and give yourself lots of time to get better. in the meantime

isinde sounds like things are going really well. you sound much happier and more content, which is lovely.x

saf - can you go to the dentist? hope you are feeling ok today.x

thurso hope your day is ok

mouse take care of yourself today ok?

does everyone feel better after the full moon? I must admit I do a little.

shit. DH just rang and his best friend's wife has lost her baby. They had the 20 week scan recently. It's their first child, oh its so horrible. I wish I could do something but I know that nothing will take this pain from her. Oh this is so awful. be back later. x

sillysillymum · 12/10/2011 09:14

Hello everyone.

Venus - thinking of you and your DD x

Well done to everyone who is doing so well. Keep trying to those who are struggling.

It's so inspiring to hear how people are changing their habits (and their lives) after years of really unhealthy drinking. I am on day 4. Obviously I have a HUGE way to go but this is the first time in years I think that I have gone this long without a drink. I didn't think I could do it. I have to thank this bus for making me feel like I could do it, that I'm not the only one who struggles with the demon drink, and that, even if I slip up, I am not a lost cause. Thank you Smile

Today I will not be drinking!

sillysillymum · 12/10/2011 09:21

MsGee - sorry, cross-post (takes me ages to write messages). That's awful about your DH's friend. So so sad. Terrible news. Look after yourself throughout this. Try and protect yourself, whatever you choose to do for your friends xx

bejiggery · 12/10/2011 10:02

Venus hope everything went ok, hello to everyone else. I stuck to my plans,had 2 drinks Sat and 2 drinks Monday when out with friends nothing else. Am so enjoying not having hangovers and will aim not to drink at home. I did fancy more than just the 2 so not smug at all.

MelodyPond · 12/10/2011 10:05

Morning all

MsGee, truly sorry to hear about your friend, I hope you're ok xx

Well done to everyone who did sober tueday, I am incredibly chuffed with myself for doing it and not stressing. Thanks to Faire for helping me :)

Today is the start of my weight watchers diet, I'm hoping this will keep me on track with the drinking. I'm not stupid though, I know me and I know that I'm going to drink on Friday as its payday, dh is home that evening and if I tell myself I can have a drink then, it might make tonight and tomorrow easier.

Does that sound like excuses or like I'm being realistic do you think? Confused

MIFLAW · 12/10/2011 10:05

"there is a quarter of a bottle of red wine in my house and has been the whole 19 days i've not been drinking." surely that'll be off by now? (Not that I ever kept wine for long enough to know when it goes off.) Isn't keeping it just a torture without possible gratification (it makes you think of drinking but, if you were to drink it, it would be vinegar)? I personally would bin it - but each to their own.

Putrifyno · 12/10/2011 10:11

I have been lurking for ages after posting on some of the early threads. I have decided enough is enough as the amount has really been creeping up recently and have felt like crap half the time.

So, Mon am I said - that's it - definitely no more, well at least not til the weekend. So far so good. Yesterday pm I felt a bit jittery but last night was OK. I have had a couple of very restless nights but though a bit tired, my head feels much clearer. I feel that now is definitely the time to properly join in, admit that I DO have a problem, and actually do something about it.....if you will have me Grin

obrigada · 12/10/2011 10:41

Morning Putrifyno and welcome aboard, well done on getting past the jitters yesterday evening :)

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 12/10/2011 10:45

Hello Babes

MsGee - Sad Sad Sad xxxxx

Saf - the funeral is tomorrow so I'll not be around.

venus -sending you love and strength. I really hope that DD is okay. xx

Well done to those who are still kicking drink's arse, day 21 here. I actually didn't cave but I have no idea how. God, I wanted a drink last night. Not the shit that comes with it, obviously, just the numbing and blurring bit. Doesn't work like that though does it?

It all or nothing, I guess I choose nothing then.

Going to try and keep busy today, no nursery as Nemo was up again for most of the night. I really need him not to be the same tonight, no sleep and a funeral plus long car journey is not great.

noteven - sorry you are poorly. REST!!!

Isinde - lovely to see you back. xx

I bet JWN is sat there as we all type, having her nails done and relaxing by a gorgeous spa pool. Smile

beakinthebeeswax · 12/10/2011 11:01

Hi everyone!

Am bit worried today, I mentioned a few days ago (Right up thread) that DP cousin was alcohol dependant.
She was supposed to go into private rehab today, but I spoke to her yesterday and she was completely pissed up at her boyfriends flat.
I have no idea what she has done today but I suspect she has done a runner.
I dare not ring her mum (DP aunty) in case they in middle of family crisis.

I wish she could get better.

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 12/10/2011 11:13

beak - maybe worth a call to DP's aunty just as a 'just wondering how things are' kind of call?

You don't have to tell her you spoke to your cousin do you? Smile

beakinthebeeswax · 12/10/2011 11:21

I just sent a quite generic "Hi hows things going today?" kind of text.

We will see what has happened.

She needs to go to this clinic, She is drinking herself to death.Sad

obrigada · 12/10/2011 11:25

Hi Beak, if only for your own peace of mind it might do no harm to ring DP's aunty!

BafangaTheSombre · 12/10/2011 11:28

venus thinking of you this morning
msGee look after yourself sweetie, this will possibly hit you hard.

indie nice to see you!
mouse you are a star as always!
beak the thing is, she has to want to get sober, sending her to rehab is not going to fix her, she has to want to be fixed, and she has to want it more than she has ever wanted anything else she has ever wanted. You need to protect yourself and your sobriety. You are the only person that can keep you well, she is the only person that can want to accept the help and do the work for herself. I know that you care, but you need to detach a little and protect yourself and your family.

Still here, still sober, - just keep repeating the mantra - that this too shall pass!

MsGee · 12/10/2011 11:32

thanks everyone, I can't stop crying. It just seems to have upset me more than I thought. She must be in hell right now.

beak there is a limit to what you can do here. Bafanga is right, she needs to want to get sober and sort herself out. If she is drinking again last week then ... perhaps she just isn't there yet. Protect yourself and take a step back for a bit - can you focus on something else for just an hour?

Isindebetterplace · 12/10/2011 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 12/10/2011 12:08

MsGee - you know where I am, is DD at nursery? Do you have a lot of work on?

This will hit you so hard because what you have just been through. Let it out. Let it all out. Of course you are upset, don't feel bad about being upset.

Yes, your friend will be beside herself and not sure what the hell is going on other than her baby has died. The best thing that you can do is be there for her when she is ready.

Think about what you need/ed and go with it.

Sending you massive mouse cuddles. Thank you for the cheese. xx

swallowedAfly · 12/10/2011 12:29

miflaw i think the fact that it would taste absolutely disgusting is reminding me of just how foul alcohol really is. it isn't tempting in the slightest and it reminds me how there is nothing to miss but if i really want to have alcohol and crack i'm going to make myself drink the vinegary old wine rather than something fresh and pretty.

hey msgee - bless you. it's another slam in the face of just how unfair life is eh? it can be so damned hard and we're expected to just get up and keep on trucking. we're remarkable really. if all of us poured out the horrific things that have happened to us or we have witnessed on this thread it would break hearts to read it and yet on we go. so strong really, even when we don't feel it. if you want to talk to a complete stranger you know where i am.

i'm baking bero coffee kisses Confused seems my coping with bleurgh mood will mostly be via baking sugary stuff this week which will do the diet no end of good.

love to everyone.

obrigada · 12/10/2011 14:21

Afternoon, last minute invite to go see comedian in pub tonight, really don't plan to drink, was thinking of soda water and lime? Any thoughts?

MsGee · 12/10/2011 14:37

thanks everyone. I am in contact with DH best friend - they don't live close by so we don't all get together often but I am texting him at the hospital so they know they have our love and support. Poor DH sounded v upset on the phone and said it was bringing things back for him. He is in meetings most of the day so will be worrying about his friend.

I just feel so weepy - like a freaking leaky bucket.

mouse DD is at nursery but I might pick her up early. I just want to hold her. I have tons of work on but not really being productive to be honest. just eating a lot and crying!

maddogsandenglishmen · 12/10/2011 14:47

Hey everyone, just catching up and so sorry to see so much heartache and sadness here.

MsGee, Mouse and Venus, thinking of you from afar.