The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are.

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

thurso did you mean me? Or Notevenamousie?? sorry.

Melody - no idea. You have to work out what's best for YOU yourself. We are so different as individuals but we all have the same problem don't we. It's hard sweets but just keep trying.

Try to cut down and see how you get on. It's taken me over a year to get to where I am now. I stopped for a while last year, then started again.

Then cut down again. But lo and behold, slowly the amounts crept up again until I was passing out pissed and smashing my face in. Or blacking out.

Not big and not clever.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and take this away from you, from all of us but it doesn't work like that. I'm sorry that this is so hard for you.

I promise you one thing though, you will stop, you can stop and you will gain control again when the time is right for you.

Until then we are all here to help you however we can okay? xx

Thanks so much Mouse :) I really appreciate it. Really do. It's so difficult and i can't believe I'm here.

Onwards and upwards I guess!

Mouseface Yes, I did mean you, you are mousie (and mrs mouseface!) to me, and noteven is noteven, if that makes sense!!

I try to organise things

Hope that's ok with you Noteven !

Melody if you can decide whether or not you want to drink each day, that might be a good first step. I started by cutting back a day at a time. First I didn't drink on Mondays, then Mon & Tues, then M,T,W. This got me down to 'just' drinking Thurs - Sunday.

Soon I was able to cut out Thursdays and some Sundays. Friday and Saturday remained a problem for a while but this week I didn't drink on either of those days.

I did it by deciding in the morning if I was going to drink, ie, it's Monday morning and today I don't want to drink. Then all I had to do was not have that first drink. I used all the strategies I learned about here, kept myself busy and, most importantly, didn't think beyond the moment.

Once the day was over I felt immensely pleased with myself. The next day I did it all again. I wasn't ready to stop all at once and knowing that I could drink on the days I wanted to helped. As long as I didn't think about them on my 'off drink' days, iyswim.

Hope this makes sense

Read this today:The Lancet: encouraging words help people to break unhealthy habits - twice as many people were able to give up smoking if they received daily positive texts compared with those just getting general daily texts from the researchers.
OK, it may be a bit obvious, but that is why this thread is so useful, cheering each other on really does help.
So, well done Babes! You are improving your own lives and your childrens' lives by addressing this problem [affirmation emoticon]

Good evening everyone.

DH has said to me tonight "When are you going to have a drink again?"

Me "I thought that I have been doing quite well. I want to keep up the good work "

Him "Yes, but you have said that before. Do you want me to treat you to a bottle?"

Me "No thanks. I am going to carry on."

Him "Hmm. OK then"

But, he has never ever judged me. No recriminations even when I have been a drunken arse and must have embarrassed hime (as well as myself sometimes) but has only said once or twice that he does worry a lot about the damage that I might be doing to myself with the amount that I drink, so why try to sabotage the longest period of time I have not drunk since 2004?

Oh Modre that really is the last thing you need . I am quite cross with your DH. Did you read BBs post above? You need lots of positive thoughts right now. You are doing so well and you were great to resist it tonight. I'm guessing he's missing his drinking partner?

Maybe he just doesn't 'get it'. Even though my DH was worried about me and didn't like the drunk me, he STILL can't understand why I can't just have one glass or two and then stop. That's because he can do that and most people can do that, but I can't, so I choose not to have the first drink today.

BTW I just looked back at my post re the research and I meant to say I read this today... It wasn't meant as an instruction
Sorry Modre I only get to see the thread in the evenings and it moves so fast I can't keep up with everyone, how many days/weeks/months are you up to today?

Hello Melody

Sorry you're struggling tonight. It's not easy, is it? Mind you, if it was easy they'd be no need for this bus. Lots of us find stopping drinking, or drinking less, really tough. I think you've said before that you have 3 DC, like me. Some of the comments you've made could have been written by me, eg about getting the 3 year old to bed then sitting down with a drink (or in my case a bottle). I'm no expert (I've only been on the bus a matter of days for Pete's sake!!) but already I've had enough good non-hungover days to know that I HAVE to stop drinking so much. The difference that being sober the night before makes to my days is just incredible really. I feel so much better, I handle everything so much better, the kids have a happier time... Maybe you're not ready to cut alcohol out completely but pleeeeaaasssee don't have a right old session tonight. You'll really regret it tomorrow. Don't feel bad about having the one or two that you've had already, feel pleased that you're learning your lessons and stopping when you should

PS If I'm being too bossy tell me to get bent and mind my own business. I think I'm trying to talk to myself last Saturday night. I carried on and ruined Sunday. Again :(

Good luck everyone else

Modre - this is when you have to be ever so selfish my love.

It sucks big time that he can burst your bubble like that but step into his shoes. You were/are his drinking buddy so if you don't drink, his own drinking gets thrown into a billion candle spotlight!

He is now centre stage and shitting it.

Why should he not drink? Why should you stop him?

Except you're not are you? You are just not drinking yourself.

Huge difference isn't it.

Step by step he will get it. Keep fighting your corner.

My DH really struggled at first and even now, this weekend said to me 'but you're my drinking buddy'

All that came about when he'd only had a glass of wine instead of his usual 3 beers and 3 wines.

So, cut him some slack, he's struggling too but make it clear to him that you are doing this just for you sweets, not him

Sending you hugs xx

bbwanna It is 1 week today, and I am proud that I didn't even have a drink over the weekend.

Scarey he does have a drink in the week, but as bbwannab said, he can have 1 can of beer and then that's it, and not every night, maybe once or twice in the week, then Fri and Sat. Even then, he doesn't have more than a couple of cans of beer or so. I don't think that he gets it TBH. I have even said that I don't mind if he has a drink, as long as I don't have the first one I am ok, it doesn't bother me.

He had a beer last night, and I never even wanted a sip. It even made me feel a bit queasy when I smelled it, but I knew that if I even had one then I would have finished them all off.

I'm OK though. Going to go and have a nice hot bath, into pj's and then go to bed early.

Oh blimey this is hard isn't it?

Tonight I will not be drinking! Tomorrow is the dreadedy day 3 for me though. Not got over that hurdle for years. Feel positive about tomorrow though. Fingers crossed!

mouse hope it went well at the doctor's. Sounds like you definitely need to get your pain controlled as much as possible before dealing with everything else. You have enough to deal with without being in physical pain too.

beak and cidre it sounds like you're doing really, really well, like you're not even having to fight the urge as much? Fantastic!

noteven I don't think I'm worried about going to AA because people might judge me. Well I am...but it's more that I'm not sure that I can be open and honest about my drinking. On here is the first time I have talked about it ever. To anyone. And obviously (well, hopefully) no-one knows who I am and I could just disappear as quickly as I jumped on the bus and there would be no harm done. I'm not sure I could admit my failings at AA at all, but if there was someone there I knew?? Aarrgghh! This is my problem. I'm sure it would be confidential, but I wouldn't like it. Thanks for the input though, I do appreciate it and I am considering it. Thanks, too, helpmenow. All this information and advice is invaluable, it really is. I somehow missed your news on Saturday, noteven. I can't keep up with all these posts! Huge news though. That's fantastic, I'm not surprised you were feeling emotional!

msgee just wanted to say that your charm bracelet sounds lovely. What a nice idea, and it does seem quite right that your DD was running about the shop, oblivous to what you were doing!

Hope everyone has a good night

Hey Thurso - I'm still here. busy with hospital appointments for Mother - they now think lymphoma rather than kidney cancer - better apparently. she has biopsy tomorrow and then if it is lymphoma - good results with chemo - HOWEVER - none of you have met MY MOTHER

Still drinking too much - DP not said anything for ages, partly because he's been away quite a lot and partly, I think, because he knows there is no point.

So I am, at the moment, just getting on with life.

And all the shit that my sisters generate.............

off to bed Babes

sweet dreams xxxxxxxxxxxx

Well done Modre on one week. That's really fab . My DH is the same, can take it or leave it. He can even pour a drink, have half a glass and leave the rest on the side, forgotton about. But if I tell him I don't want to drink, he doesn't keep asking me. And if I ask him not to bring wine into the house, he will stick to beer or nothing.

As Mouse said, though, this is about you not your DH. You will have to keep reminding him that this is your choice. If you do drink, it will be your choice too. You are not saying you will never drink. You are just not drinking today. Hopefully, he will eventually get the message.

Evening all
Am sitting quietly at the back of the bus.
Still struggling with all the shite going on in my life, but heyho, not drinking, and moving forward, hopefully in the right direction.

Glad to read how many of you are doing so well!

Shakes poms poms, go Brave Babes

ooh, will check out the Gok thing. And the decent bra fitting. I haven't been fitted in about 20 years and my norks could do with a serious manhandling

Thinking of you Silver, you know where I am xx

Off to bed Babes, so super tired today. V emotional too.

Be back in the morning, then off to the gym when Nemo has respite.

Sleep well all xxxxxxxxxxxx

That's great Modre, keep going, he will get used to the new you, but it may take some time.

For example my DH routinely forgets to get me a drink whilst he is getting one for everyone else, if we have friends or family around. He knows I won't have wine/beer but forgets to offer me a non alcoholic drink

Silver and Bafana and Mouse I hope you are able to get a good nights sleep, sorry to hear your troubles, sending you all ((hugs)).
bafana hang on to your sobriety, it is precious and you have done so really, really well.

Good evening

A massive well done to those doing so well. It is fantastic to hear how it is possible to get to the stage where you don't want a drink.

I did so well on Saturday (no alcohol and we went out!) but failed miserably on Sunday. My father upset me and I literally left his house in a panic desperate to buy wine before the supermarket closed. Bought and consumed 2 bottles so feeling like a complete failure. I'm not going to visit him for a few weeks as he really is so nasty and although I can normally handle it, I just can't at the moment.

Today a large glass of wine at lunchtime as I went to lunch with a client but resolve to start again tomorrow.

Have a great evening and good luck!

I'm still here, I'm drinking but not as much as usual. I think I'm going to cut down first. I don't know, I wish I did!

Silly, you're not being bossy at all, just very helpful! It all helps, as I have no idea how to do this, so I do need all your help.

Modre, that must have been hard, but well done on a week, i wish I was there

Scarey, i like that idea and will try it. Sorry if I'm not making much Sense but I hope I am.

Xx

All you can do is try Melody and see what works for you. So will you be joining me on a drink-free Tuesday tomorrow, just for the day?

Yes Scarey, that sounds good and do-able. I would love to join you for a drink free day tomorrow.

Thank you xx

Sorry, you're not that Scarey!