The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are.

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

Choc Cherry Fudge Cake - DS3 favourite - he asked for it for his bithday cake.

? 75g (6oz) self-raising flour
? 2½ tbsp cocoa powder
? 1tsp bicarbonate of soda
? 150g (5oz) caster sugar
? 2 eggs
? 150ml (¼pt) corn oil
? 150ml (¼pt) milk
? 2tsp vanilla extract
? 125g (5oz) dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids)
? 397g can Caramel flavour condensed milk
? 1tbsp icing sugar
? 1 large pot glace cherries, halved and rinsed

Preheat the oven to 180°C, 350°F, Gas Mark 4.

Base line 2 x18cm (7?) sandwich tins with baking parchment.

Sift the flour, cocoa and bicarbonate of soda into a bowl and stir in the sugar. In a jug measure the oil and milk, then add the eggs, one teaspoon of vanilla and mix together with a fork until combined. Beat two tablespoons of the Caramel flavour condensed milk until smooth and whisk into the egg and oil mixture.

Combine the wet with the dry ingredients and mix well with a spoon or spatula. Fold in the halved glace cherries carefully, if you do this too much the cherries will break up. (The cake mix will be quite wet, but that?s ok as it makes a nice moist sponge).

Pour the mixture into the tins, dividing equally between the 2 tins, and bake in the centre of the oven for 20-25 minutes until springy to the touch, or a skewer comes out dry.

Cool the cakes in their tins for about 10 minutes, and then turn out onto a wire rack. Remove the baking paper and cool completely.

Melt the chocolate in short bursts in the microwave, stirring until smooth. Add the remaining Caramel flavour condensed milk and vanilla to the chocolate and beat well until smooth and glossy. Sift in the icing sugar and combine thoroughly.

Place one half of the cake onto a plate, spread with a generous amount of the frosting and top with the other sandwich half. Spread the remaining frosting over the top of the cake and down the sides to cover completely. Leave to set and cut into slices.

I heart you Modre xx

modre - im VERY glad you joined us! (not so sure my hips will be though!)

It's a wonder that the DS's and DH are not all the size of houses. But they aren't

You might have realised that I like cooking. It keeps me occupied and out of trouble. Some of the time lol.

Modre have you considered selling your cakes in local shops? You could have the makings of a nice little business there .

Saf I meant to say, if you don't mind me asking, are you on ADs and if so do you think the dose is right for you. Now that you're not drinking the meds may affect you differently. Hope you don't mind me asking, just a thought, ignore if you like.

It got a little colder here this afternoon and I felt really sleepy for a while. I feel like I need to hibernate and it's not even frosty yet!

Hi all, Modre Thanks so much for the recipes, am planning to make choc cherry one for my BIL who lloves cherries. That's his xmas sorted. Think need to practise a bit first tho .
Day 5 over (am in jammies) and all good here. A whole weekend and no alcohol! Can't really remember last time that happened. Went to shop with DD's this pm, when I would usually stock up, but didn't even go down beer aisle!
Positive thoughts to all, am off to bed, am tired tonight.

Modre - you should also put your recipes into the recipe of the week section on here.

And yes to selling them locally in a cafe etc. A slice of the profit (see what I did there) to you and the owner. Be a great way to make some cash.

Or even Christmas fairs etc....... coffee mornings? Raise money for charity?

Oh to be talented in the baking department.

sillysilly

I've been to about 400 AA meetings and I have probably shared about half the time, I didn't say a word for months, then introduced myself when I was asked to do a reading, I now I normally have something I need to say most Meetings . You can also share, and it is just as helpful to do so obliquely. I've been doing that a lot recently as I had a really minor problem at work which was really upsetting me, so my shares on three consecutive days went like this:

Meeting 1 Hello my name is helpmenow and I'm an alcoholic. I don't often get to this meeting but something at work happened which has really upset me, I felt like walking out, I was so embarrassed, it was really unfair. I don't want to walk out as I need this job more than they need me. (I only realised that about me needing the job as I said it- I've been working there since about a month after I got sober and helpmenow at work has always been reliable and sober)

Meeting 2 Hello, my name is ...I spent the day at work with my head down and I know my boss is worried that he really upset me yesterday, I'm disproportionately upset over something really tiny that happened at work. It's reminding me of how dishonest I was when I was drinking and how I avoided situations where I was accountable. I also realize that although I've been sober for nearly 2 years and attend lots of meetings but I haven't really pushed on with my step work. (step work is working through the steps 1:1, getting to know yourself really well and fix the aspects of yourself that led you to being an active alcoholic)

Meeting 3 Hello... I've never been to this meeting before but I needed to share as I've been struggling with my reaction to something that happened on Monday. I love my job, but I realised that I can't take criticism at all. My Boss has apologised and part of me feels I should explain that he did nothing wrong but that he made me feel greedy and grandiose and incompetent. I'll be cheerful tomorrow and just get on with my work.

Meeting 4 I didn't mention it as I wasn't worrying about it any more

The upshot of sharing like this was that I realised that my Boss had been heavy handed, I had over reacted, that its no big deal and that I need to deal with my fear of seeming greedy. In the past rather than sharing I would have done any or all of the following- stormed out, burst into tears, badmouthed him to co-workers, spent hours moaning at DH about it, ditto my Mum, or drank.

I've seen people from those meetings since and its not been mentioned.
I've also bumped into AA members outside the rooms socially and for work- we just wouldn't pick up on stuff from inside the rooms outside.

I can also think of several members who never 'share'- people who's names I know from chatting over the washing up, but about whom I know nothing.

Go with an open mind- get the lie of the land and then decide whether you want to talk

Great post helpmenow x

I have shared the sum total of once in the seven months that I have been going to AA meetings Not a main share I might add! It didn't make me feel any better and I mostly feel that I'm still on a fairly steep learning curve and don't want to be teaching grannies to suck eggs. I also have a long history of a panic disorder and I have only two triggers left - one is that I have to sit at the end of the row in the theatre or the cinema (for an easy escape route ) and the other is public speaking.

My sponsor is trying to encourage me to share back despite me explaining the panic disorder to her. I'm partly worried about being asked to do a main share if I speak up in the meeting because I'm absolutely not doing that! lol

I don't really think that the end results look "pretty" enough to sell IYSWIM. Although they always taste good.

Am sitting here now a bit wobbly as I need to go out for cat litter, but the closest shop is also the one that sells wine

I think that I will go and take only enough money for the cat litter and no more. Then I won't be able to buy wine at all.

Good idea Modre. Leave your purse at home, I've done that lots of times.

Evening all, (serves me right for getting up so early when I didn't have to, to watch cars go round and round). Had a bit of a rough day with gossip - that'll teach me to share things with people. Bit discouraged. Oh well, be yesterday's news in no time. Did very yummy roast pork today, going to turn it into risotto of some sort tomorrow evening. Leeks and other seasonal greens I think.
sAf I too hate the dark months - I have a light box but real light is much better I think. In years I've coped well, I've confined active, productive stuff to daylight hours as far as possible - I am just not productive in the long, dark hours and I just start feeling guilty. It feels easier this year so far because I'm not working - yet. I find January/ early Feb worse than this bit.
Probably lots of others I should say hello to but am really dropping. Will catch up tomorrow.

Thanks for all the advice/info about what AA meetings are actually like. The confidentiality thing is obviously working really well because until now I had absolutely no idea of what actually went on! Glad I'm not the only one with a fear of public speaking. I had to take beta blockers to get me through presentations etc at uni

Modre, I hope you were strong and just bought cat litter. If a bottle did fall into your shopping basket don't drink it. I drank last night and have spent today feeling like plop. Gone is the boingyness of the last couple of days. Onwards and upwards...

Have a good, sober evening everyone!

Where do you live Scoundrel? Via PM if you wish. There's a women's meeting in Sarf London I go to which is tiny (usually under 10 ) and candlelit.

noteven sorry about your sharing coming back to you.

evening all
venus is your DD okay? Are you feeling better now? don't know how I missed your post earlier.Want to meet up?

All this talk of cakes is killing me. I made the toffee apple one on the cover of this month's Good Food magazine today. Bloody gorgeous!!!!!
Had a couple of glasses with dinner but am sitting here calmly empty handed even though there is wine in the fridge. Don't want any more. Now if I could just stop picking up in the first place......

Modre you may be surprised. My local deli sells lopsided looking cakes which are obviously home baked and taste delicious. They are displayed still wrapped in the greaseproof paper, not boxed or 'pretty' but are really popular.

helpme I live in Bristol, I've never been to a meeting in London but I'd quite like to as I hear that's where the slebs hang out

There's a really nice women's meeting here too but it's on a night that a I another commitment so rarely make it.

sillymum I am sitting here wine free with a full cat litter tray

Off to bed now, have to be up for work in the morning.

hello to all, sounds like lots of people have had good days and lots of baking has been going on. modre I also love cooking, although I'm not so much of a cake maker.

Lovely to see new posters on here. I haven't quite got to grips with who is who yet - I'm a bit stressed and over busy at the moment, so I've been reading quickly and haven't got the whole picture (although I see there are quite a lot of deleted posts - loved the good humour in which that was dealth with too).

ma I'd love to meet up, but things are a bit up in the air at the moment, I'll pm you this week and arrange something.

hi venus - you sound a bit stressed, take care of yourself!!

im away now for a few days, off to a spa with my bf going to be all healthy food and exercise - be good while im away, keep the bus nice and tidy (im looking at these cake crumbs!! )

just remember

TOMORROW WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

love you all

L XXXXXXXX

Couple of other things about AA meetings ...

I see some people week in, week out, ans STILL don't even know what their voices sound like.

Also, outside of big cities, I would say that 20 would be a large meeting. Even IN large cities, most are that size or smaller - it's just easier to find big meetings if you like that sort of thing.

When I came to London I too thought I would be hanging with celebs in AA meetings (there is a meeting nicknamed "Stars on Sunday" in West London, I believe.).

The first famous person I ever met in AA was at Shoreditch Thursday. He was not THAT famous, but was a TV actor that most people who watch a load of prime time shit would have recognised. This was my big chance! I finally plucked up my nerve and we ended up talking about ...

... pissing in phoneboxes. Because that's what we had in common. We were both there because we were alcoholics and that turned out to matter much more to both of us than his celebrity or my lack thereof.