The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are.

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

i know demented. the thing i can't take is trying on bikinis or underwear surrounded by full length mirrors when i'm not happy with my body - scary even thinking about it.

did you like the dress other than it not fitting?

am shattered and off to bed. couple of hard days. fingers crossed tomorrow is lighter. sleep well everyone

just to say, not on day 5 yet, only 3...was projecting, must stop!

Sorry, I forgot to say what time to put the facepacks on

Still, it's not too late if anyone's still waiting for the go-ahead

Mouse I did think of that, or just ScareyFairy.

Ma I went to weightwatchers a few years ago and did really well. I lost 2 and half stone. But I wasn't eating properly as I used my points on wine. I had 20 points a day and, as a glass of wine is 2 points I used almost half of my points on booze! I stopped going and gradually put it back on through drinking.

However, I did learn loads about healthy, low fat foods and am just using everything I know to do it properly this time, without the booze. Also, I am exercising more regularly as I'm not sat in a chair drinking, or too drunk to do anything!

I really think for successful dieting, you need to knock the drinking on the head first. Or at least cut it right back. That is the priority. You can do it Ma. If I can, anyone can. I plan to lose 30 pounds in 90 days. I'm on day 19 now and I've lost 7lbs.

Just plan how you can stick to 1500 calories a day. Take it one day at a time. Keep up the exercise. The weight will fall off. You will feel fabulous. Have a look at the Food Focus site.

How are all the new babes doing? There have been lots of new passengers recently, don't forget to come back and tell us how you are getting on.

I'm doing ok with the food, it's the drinking i can't manage. Well there's a surprise!! I am upping the exercise, cutting back on carbs, absolutely no biscuits/sweets/chocolate/crisps/fried food, increasing the veggies and pulses. All good, but the booze is undoing it.
Even the desire to lose weight doesn't stop me drinking. I really am beginning to think I am a lost cause.

Ma

Just get the dress in a size that fits you and you will look fabulous.

It is never about how big/small/whatever you are

If the clothes fit properly it will work.

I got properly fitted for a bra a few weeks ago - thought I was a 36C but I am a 32E

it completely changes my whole figure................

Soooo MRS. Different size and a good bra xx

Hey All

Just home from a meeting. House is all quiet as the children have gone to sleep at FIL's tonight.
ExDH is actually making me laugh in an ironic way! Is not taking children this weekend, didn't bother to let me know. Only found out when DS phoned him to discuss pickups. This should bother me, but I am not letting it. His DW has just left him and apparently has left the house in a bit of a state . As he is incapable of telling the truth - I am not so sure.
She is now telling anyone who will listen what a prick he is could have told her that years ago, and is accusing him of emotional abuse, drinking too much and having affairs. All stuff she didn't want to hear from me. The woman was an ABSOLUTE bitch to DD, and so I am finding it very hard to have any sympathy, I just don't want my children dragged into any of it.

Thanks for the pom pom Horse

Sillysilly my town is very small, and I work for the main employer, the people that I have met at AA who go to my work, or I know outwith have never said a word outwith, it's as important to them as it is to me! But I also had grave fears about being outed, I just got to the point, where not seeking support would have outed me as an alcoholic, whereas if anyone did now find out - they would only discover that I am a recovering alcoholic, and there is definitely the world of difference between the two.

Right, off to watch "How I met your Mother" and then bed, want to go out running in the morning, and then meeting a friend for coffee.

Sleep tight and stay safe my Brave Babes
Who's on the bacon rolls in the morning.

mouse - please think up a suitably spooky name for me please - you seem to be really good at it. - in fact all suggestions gratefully received!!

Bafana

SHUT UP Ma

No one is a lost cause lady.

you and me both still drinking

I'm right here with you so stop putting yourself down - please lovely lady.

In this together - you and me - OK xxxx

How about Bafanga

Ma if you dilute wine with soda or similar, you will reduce your calorie intake. Keep at it. Keep up the exercise. Don't worry about weight, just try to be a little healthier. You are already making really good changes, I am sure you will see a difference if you stick to it. We love you whatever size you are and Silver is right, you are NOT a lost cause!

Good evening! Just a really quick post and a massive thank you to everyone on this board. I am sooooo proud of myself having drunk just one glass of wine with a jug of soda water and ice cubes and ignored the constant wish to drink and get a taxi home - instead I stuck to just the one (small)glass all night.

Thank you all! Back to day one tomorrow but feel a slight victory tonight despite having drink.

Demented ma - don't feel demoralised - eBay sizes are so often wrong. As silver says, if you have a dress that suits you and fits you, you will look and feel fantastic whatever your size.

Cidre well done that's fantastic .

I'm sorry to not mention everyone too and suspect I need to start making notes too! Very tired so off to bed.

Have a lovely evening and good luck over the weekend.

Xx

Really quickly re weight loss, there are loads of iPod apps to help you loose weight. I yo yo so much but find making notes of everything I eat and drink helps me track things better.

Morning all

I was out tonight too.

We went to the theatre, then out for dinner. Now I find I'm wide awake, I have a big mug of sleepy time tea, so I'm hoping that will do the trick, and I won't lay awake thinking about the message in the play!

DH is getting up at 6 to go to a friends to watch the rugby, so I may well stay in bed late (Crikey, I'm a rebel ).

Love to all
xxxx

Morning!

Feeling q boingy despite getting up at 5!

Just a quick one, on way out for the day.

Huge well done Positive. I think just sticking to one on a night out is more of an achievement than staying in and having nothing. I'd have been finding any excuse to dump the car and get a taxi. I wouldn't consider you back to day 1 at all. Well done!

Instructions - AA really does appeal and I do believe you about the anonymity/confidentiality bit but I just know that if I got there and there was, say, a mum i know from the school gates, that I wouldn't be honest about everything. I'd put on an act, dismiss my problems, make out like I just had the odd glass of wine here or there...yeah right. I know it's not right but that's me. Gotta go!!

Good luck everyone x

Oh and Dementedma (hello!) totally empathise about the weight loss thing. I've done 2 days now of no drinking and really healthy eating. Seriously, as well as the booze I'd have at least 2 packets of crisps a night, plus countless helpings of carbs during the day. I haven't lost an ounce. Don't understand! I know it's v early days but some reward would be good for this hard work!

Hope you feel better today anyway

Morning, hope everyone had a good night. Not quite sure how I feel this am. Peased to be on Day 4 and to have got through a Friday. Working tonight, (which wouldn't normally stop me at this time..., but not trying to plan how to drink which is positive. Physically still feel fine, my tummy a wee bit funny, but to be honest, the drink has messed up my digestion so much I don't really remember what it should feel like...
I want to start exercising, healthy eating etc as I know this would improve my state of mind immeasurably, but feel I should give myself a week at least before making any demands beyond no drinking. Don't want to get overwhelmed and scared into giving up because is all too much. Or is that defeated thinking?
Wish I had a mute button for my brain...

Morning all. I just wanted to check in really, there are so many new Babes,I am struggling to keep up. WELCOME ABOARD.
Well 15 months in and happily not drinking. Infact I would go as far as to say the desire has gone completely, but I will never be complacent, the alternative is too scary. Ma I was 4 stone overweight when I started running. I lost the lot steadily, if you run regularly (gentle jogging will do fine) keep an eye on your cals you will do it. X
The worst saboteur of my weight has always been alcohol. It really is a poisonous load of old shit, dressed up as a glamorous grown up way to have a simply fabulous time, what a lie. If I could go back in time and meet the 18 year old Miss P, I would sit her down and tell her that she is a clever strong young woman, who has the potential to be what ever she wants to be. That one day she will be truly loved and those people will need her love, strength, courage and wisdom everyday, to help them to grow into be who they deserve to be. I would tell her the truth about alcohol and ask her to try life without it. Man that would save her a whole heap of crap

but if you kept going back you'd get more open silly - line from a song: 'trust is quite simple, it's a fire that you kindle'. no one is going to expect you to be open and totally honest on day one. i haven't been (bereft of meetings here) but from what i hear you don't even have to speak if you don't want to - you can just sit and listen - bit like lurking on this thread till you feel ready.

isindie - don't feel you have to catch up. sorry it's been a tough time work wise - bound to knock your confidence a bit and make you stress about money, the future etc. well done for not drinking x

dementedma - i think the frustration you're feeling is still about the drinking really - you're being made to realise again that you need to stop and that that is the central issue that has to be faced to move forward. no amount of concentrating on food is going to make you healthy whilst still over drinking or distract you from the fact that you know you have a problem. what is the plan with the drinking?

i ended up eating lots of junk yesterday - felt totally tired and drained for the third day in a row. realistically it didn't make me feel better just filled a craving so i'm going back to healthiness and avoiding junk. when i get really tired and a bit down it's as if my body craves loudly for sugar and carbs assuming that's what it needs and that's when i generally start over eating (and drinking). generally i think people should listen to their bodies but i reckon my body has learned something wrong and i actually need to ignore it on the junk food same as i'm ignoring it on the alcohol. i WILL retrain my brain goddammit!

x posted hi msperrier so good to hear it's all going well

cidre - i don't think it's defeatist thinking - makes sense to me. focus on the alcohol first.

Morning Babes!

The sleepy time tea didn't do the trick, and I had a very restless night. Staying up really doesn't suit me any more (bring on the zimmer ).

Morning cidre, silly, MissP (15 months ) I hope I get there; you are an inspiration.

Saf I'm the same when I'm tired, craving fatty foods and carbs. When I'm really tired I would pay a kings ransom for four McD's hash browns .

Isinde so sorry to hear that you have been feeling down, my sweetheart. Is it just the work? Well done for keeping off the poison, it's hard when you are feeling low, but as we all know, can only make us feel worse, as I found out in all
my miserableness a few weeks ago.

Ma The number on the dress doesn't count. You will notice the difference in yourself after a week or so of healthy eating and exercise, and if you feel good, you will look fabulous. No-one is a lost cause MrsDemented! don't you even think it . xxx

Mouse I so hope that Nemo had a good night last night. Is this time of the year bad for his respiratory illnesses? When DC2 was little this was the worst time of year for him.

Sorry not to name check everyone, I will have to join some of you in getting my pen and pencil out!

P.s Venus I hope you had a lovely holiday, are you back yet?

xxx

PPS. Great to see you posting Silver. How are things in your world?xx

Hi Missperrier thanks for checking in - it is great to hear how well you are doing, and I agree totally with your chat with your 18 year old self.

Ma keep your chin up, but I do think it is time to tackle what is going to kill you first, and what is responsible for your low self esteem, the elephant in the room. Come on Brave Babe, if I can do it, you can do it.

Silly I totally sympathise with your thoughts re AA, I didn't go for the same reasons as you. Actually, I did eventually attend one meeting and I did not see anyone I knew, but I really did not feel comfortable, I am not a great sharey type of person - you will be able to tell this from my posts here (I am terrified of outing myself).

But you can still do this with the support of the Brave Babes. You don't have to spill your guts, but you do have to have your own resolve.

It sounds like you have already made some good changes to help your routine, I found that PLANNING not to drink was the key. With 3 DC you must already be good at planning, so just change the focus to yourself for a while, drop your standards, get help, look after number one, then you will be in a better state to look after your family in the future.

Good luck!
Moring to all the BBs, have a lovely weekend.

I am addicted to carbs as well is there a theme here alcohol/carbs? Well done to Cidre and Silly and hello to everyone else. I didn't drink yesterday but did eat 3 bags of crisps yesterday salt and vinegar chipsticks to be exact, after a week of low carbing. They are one of my favs, ate one in the morning and two in the evening whilst sipping my no alcohol cocktails (thanks for the tips on here). It was after a week of low carbing so a bit of self sabotaging going on but figure it was better than opening the wine! One addiction at a time I suppose. Have a great day everyone today if I drink I aim to limit myself to two whilst out with friends and not to drink this evening so I do not have a hellish hangover tomorrow.

Morning all,
I am hugely emotional today - DD is discharged from local authority care this morning and I keep bursting into tears!! Soppy old thing, but it just seemed so impossible for so long and I am so grateful.
Going to try and dispel the weepiness with housework.
I'll be back later on, but lots of thank yous are due, including to all of you on here.

Another lurker now joining. Nursing a bit of a hangover.

After years of resolving to be sensible I have realised that all sense goes out of the window once I've had a few and that life would be calmer and happier if I just didn't start in the first place.

Have managed a few stretches without drink but have always ended up giving into temptation of a crisp glass of white. Maybe I can do it with you help babes ....