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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Are Men Sex Obsessed?

163 replies

Oldgumbiecat · 30/09/2011 15:32

Common experience tells us that most men certainly are. The unpalatable truth is that for men having sex is pretty much like going to the toilet: an urgent and immediate need that needs to be satisfied quickly, and with any woman who is ready and willing, or who can in turn gain something from it, imaginary or real. Men need to be possessed of real self control to remain monogamous: monogamy is not in the nature of your average man.

So why else do you suppose that the sex industry is in the ascendancy? And that?s to put it mildly. The sex industry generates billions for those smart enough to exploit it. All men are sex addicted to a greater or lesser degree. And anyone who thinks that women are not above taking advantage of them deludes her/himself.

This obsession combined with a tendency for so many men not to grow up emotionally beyond toddlerhood, though, can certainly result in legions of women getting a very raw deal indeed. Particularly when they are preoccupied with the responsibility of raising real children as well as an adult who never grew up. And men, too, are too often preoccupied with the notion that the grass is greener on the other side of the hill: the infatuation with the pretty girl with long legs at the office which they misconstrue as having found true love at last. Once again, it?s nothing more and nothing less than good old lust.

I do not include, of course, the many men who will squeal in protest when they read this, because of course you are all such good little boys really. And if you find these views offensive, then I regret that. But while they may not apply to you, I think it very probable that enough who read this won't readily deny the truth.
OP posts:
Pakdooik · 30/09/2011 15:33

Where's the rest of your GCSE essay?

mumsamilitant · 30/09/2011 16:12

Ay? Confused

Helltotheno · 30/09/2011 16:15

Lol Grin

Not all men are sex-obsessed of course.
I guess the nature of a 'Relationships' forum is that people want help with their problems and many of the problems involve sex-obsessed, emotionally immature men. But don't forget there are many men about who are mature and don't go round as if they're going to die if they don't get sex every night of the gd week. This high libido stuff is all in the head.

But hey, great subject for an essay :)

Chrononaut · 30/09/2011 16:19

pfft, not all men are sex obsessed. tbh ive found most my ex partners had a hard time keeping up with me Hmm

depends what sorta man you go for i suppose

EdithWeston · 30/09/2011 16:24

What an odd view.

Has it been fostered by a specific set of circumstances?

PeppermintPasty · 30/09/2011 16:25

Where did this come from? It's a very skewed view.

carernotasaint · 30/09/2011 17:16

It is skewed. Many men are asexual but we dont see asexuality written about nearly enough.

coccyx · 30/09/2011 17:17

Yes, well my cheating hubby is!
sorry had a pimms or 2.

HairyGrotter · 30/09/2011 17:18

I'm giving this an F grade, no referencing and a poor argument. Referral due in 4 weeks time.

Reality · 30/09/2011 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RumourOfAHurricane · 30/09/2011 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hullygully · 30/09/2011 17:26

They are RABID. Every time I leave the house I see legions of men with glazed eyes and giant hard-ons, shoving them into anything within reach: cats, post boxes, open car windows. It's a DISEASE and a PLAGUE.

cecilyparsley · 30/09/2011 17:29

I dont think that men are any less likely than women to be emotionally immature...what do you mean by emotionally immature, who gets to define emotional maturity?

What do you mean by obsessed, who gets to say at what point a desire becomes an obsession?

It's possible that men are on average more motivated by their sexual needs than women are, but who can say how much of that is culturally determined, nature and nurture interact in multiple complex ways.

NormanTebbit · 30/09/2011 17:33

Don't give me that biological determinism shit, they are no more likely to be sex obsessed than women it's just that society chooses to punt this "oooh men and and their urges" bullshit to justify the whole range of 'boys will be boys' behaviour.

solidgoldbrass · 30/09/2011 17:55

Bullshit from start to finish, OP. Piss off and read 'Delusions of Gender', then try My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, and maybe have a look at the Aven website as well.
Some people are a lot more interested in sex than others. As women slowly but surely achieve human status (as opposed to that of property) some of them will feel able to have as much sex as they want, with as many partners as they want, without fear of punishment. Others will be less interested.
ALl this rubbish about how men 'need' sex and women 'trade' it for love and commitment is all the wrong way round - what this structure is set up to do is convince women that what they need is to be owned by a particular man and make sure his sexual attention is focused on them and controlled by them - because women who feel free to make their own sexual choices are much less willing to be men's domestic servants and property.

Lacuna · 30/09/2011 18:12

Grin hully.

I've taken to carrying a Tazer whenever I venture outside. You can't be too careful, with these SEX-OBSESSED BEASTS about.

Helltotheno · 30/09/2011 19:37

ALl this rubbish about how men 'need' sex and women 'trade' it for love and commitment is all the wrong way round - what this structure is set up to do is convince women that what they need is to be owned by a particular man and make sure his sexual attention is focused on them and controlled by them

Totally this. So why then do women keep settling for crap relationships with twunts and think it's the only way to live?! When will the status quo change and people (well women mainly) stop thinking that being on one's own or in a 'different' relationship will be frowned on by society...

Sigh... these are the great existential questions innit :)

LeBOF · 30/09/2011 19:40

I knew SGB was doing Avon, but I had no idea she had sexed up their website Shock

Helltotheno · 30/09/2011 19:48

Lol Grin

bubblegumpop · 30/09/2011 20:04

Sigh I know. My husband had just brought home a kebab and is now humping it. He better mind the chilies.

AmorYCohetes · 30/09/2011 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BelleDameSansMerci · 30/09/2011 20:11

Isn't everyone sex obsessed? Maybe it's just me... Grin

Roseflower · 30/09/2011 20:31

You have been watching too much Inbetweeners

PeppermintPasty · 30/09/2011 20:43

It's just you BelleWink

BelleDameSansMerci · 30/09/2011 21:17