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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Booze In The Autumn Breeze.

999 replies

Mouseface · 21/09/2011 12:22

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus. Smile

I'm mouse and I have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I can't have just the one drink, ever.

I'm not alone here, there are Babes who are sober and have been for some time, Babes who are still drinking and trying their best to stop or cut down and then there are Babes who aren't ready to stop drinking. Yet.

So, why not come and say hi?

No judgy pants allowed on here I'm afraid, cakes and cheeses are! Grin

And for those who want to know a bit more about the Bus, HERE is our journey so far.

OP posts:
dementedma · 30/09/2011 11:12

mouse well done on Day 9. Way to go.
Gerald is in sore need of a service and a tidy up - it gets very crowded in here and the mess is unbelievable ....who leaves all this cheese lying about????
And as for the mess under Indie's seat - well!

bafanatheSober · 30/09/2011 11:24

saf I think that you have it right on the money there, he made me feel like shit, and so I went to where I go when my self esteem is low - right back to alcohol!!

So pleased that my FIL came and distracted me, because I would have been gutted!! Sad. But glad that I didn't Smile.

Need to get stuck in about the washing etc, have flung open all the windows and am trying to get some fresh air into the house and blow away the cobwebs, literally and figuratively!!

jesuswhatnext · 30/09/2011 11:35

oops! Blush posted a bit quick!

bafana - you are awesome!!! give yourself some credit! you hung on to your sobriety in the face of exteme provocation!! good on you!! Smile

i had a lovely evening with dd, tired on jewellery soooo expensive that it made me feel nervous! Confused Grin it was fine until a lady asked me if i would like to try a large gold cuff inset with diamonds £40,000 worth! Shock, so i took my primani cuff off and my bloody arm was green! Grin

bb - yes, my 2nd dh was a serving legionarrie when we married - i lived on corsica for some years, dd was born, i had a wonderful apartment overlooking the bay of calvi, i had money and met VERY interesting people Hmm i also saw some incredible and shocking acts of random violence, incredibly heavy drinking and after a while it became my 'norm' - none of it shocked me anymore, i think i became desentsistied and after he finally left me after nearly choking me to death it me, it took me several years to trust anyone, which is shame and partly why dh and i didnt have any dcs of our own - sorry, long navel gaze there! Blush

swallowedAfly · 30/09/2011 11:43

faire - due on AND you may have been gaining muscle tone initially (which is heavier than fat) if you've had a big change in exercise levels. stick with it Smile and well done on day 12.

agree that bafana is awesome Smile

hello to everyone. have had a gorgeous walk through the fields today talking to dog walkers and admiring how beautiful everything is looking and eating my breakfast straight off the bushes - blackberries are all sweet and mellow now.

not navel gazing jesus - that's the thing with having lived a full life isn't it? it's not all glamour and excitement - there's the extreme dark bits too. all part of who you are though and fwiw i think you're ace.

jesuswhatnext · 30/09/2011 12:13

saf - i picture you as tall and willowy with long black flowing hair and dark sultry eyes, floaty skirts, wandering through misty fields looking totally at one with nature! Grin

Original poster
Mouseface · 30/09/2011 12:49

Not far off JWN. She's v pretty too. Smile

OP posts:
MsGee · 30/09/2011 13:04

Quick post. Day 7. Back in poo-gate land with DD so we are housebound for the day (trip to toddler music not wholly successful).

So far I have scraped fecal leakage off four pairs of DD knickers. That pretty much sums up my day.

Sorry for tmi.

Grumpy Gee x

notevenamousie · 30/09/2011 13:20

Aaaaarggghhh!! Rant needed.

I cannot change other people's behaviour - this is going to have to be my mantra today. I can tell them how I feel, and how I feel about their actions, and they can go ahead and do the hurtful stuff, and there is nothing I can do, but what I can do is not start self-pitying and feeling sorry for myself, not think that they or the world owe me anything. I need to accept the situation exactly as it is, and not waste time or energy wishing it was different.
Money is agonisingly tight and I am finding dealing with my family difficult.
This is the toughest bit of acceptance - I seem to spend more time in my counselling talking about how to deal with my remaining family than with my grief. Hmmmm.

Sorry to be taking and not giving. Going to go for a walk outside and enjoy the sunshine and the day that I have been given, sober, with a full enough tummy, and things are ok, just now. Even today misery remains optional.

Sorry if that was a bit random, it needed to get out. It's a miracle that I don't need or want a drink - nothing I can explain.

MsGee · 30/09/2011 13:24

Make that five.

MsGee · 30/09/2011 13:36

Sorry noteven x post.

My brain is too fried to say anything helpful but ((( )))

venusandmars · 30/09/2011 14:07

msgee how awful, but I remember 'poo-gate' last year, and you and dd got through that. It's horrid that it is happening again, but you both know that you can resolve it.

venusandmars · 30/09/2011 14:16

noteven well done you for actually living out the serenity prayer Smile

I find it helps me if I remember that the people around me are 'doing the best they can with the resources that they have available to them'. And by resources, I don't mean money or possessions, I mean the exeriences they've had, the beliefs that they've gathered along the way, the values that they've adopted: they may not be same beliefs and values that I have, and that is all that I have to accept.

All that I can do, is do the best that I can with the resources available to me - live and behave in accordance with my beliefs and values and principles.

swallowedAfly · 30/09/2011 14:18

my sympathies msgee - dealing with poo is not something i miss (though i am still his lordships bum wiper Hmm )

jesus - the long hair is gone, it was very long till i chopped it all off this year and now it's a messy pixie crop. i am quite tall and not too far off willowy and do have dark eyes. not really the flowy skirts type though but would flowing scarves do instead? Grin

mouse you are too kind Blush

noteven - you are not taking more than giving and we are here for you. please let it all out if it will help? i remember when i was doing counseling training we looked at what i think you're talking about. when you lose someone in the family you don't only lose them but also the role they played in making the family work and all the facilitation they did for example. the whole dynamic of the family can change with one key player suddenly not there and can take a while to resettle on the board iyswim? don't take over or on board what's not yours - keep your boundaries x

venusandmars · 30/09/2011 14:27

saf do you work as a counsellor? you write some great things.

swallowedAfly · 30/09/2011 14:30

thank you. no i don't practice. i don't want to spend another 7K on crap training to be able to be bacp registered and i don't really agree with some of the tenets and 'boundaries' of counseling. would love to practice some sort of therapy but i'd want it to be a different.

swallowedAfly · 30/09/2011 14:31

a bit different sorry.

legalalien · 30/09/2011 14:55

(sneaks back on, conscious of being (i) the person who

NameNotNeeded · 30/09/2011 15:10

Monkey....I can relate to every word you posted!

It's 3pm and I've opened the wine...but it's Friday so that's ok yeah? The positive thing about that statment is...I won't have a hangover in the morning...why? Because I will be fast asleep by 8pm. Now, I KNOW that's my alkie brain thinking.

I'm going to post without preview reading...this is my stupid way of asking for help....again!

venusandmars · 30/09/2011 15:23

legal I know that this will be difficult for you, but don't overthink it Smile. The number of people who are not on our wavelength is always huge, but what is important is that we find at least some people around us who ARE on the same page (at least some of the time).

So... the movie of my life.... well when I was young I wanted to look like a rock chick like Suzi Quattro but unfortunately I looked much more like the lovely nice and squeakly clean Olivia Newton John

Now I be happy to look like Olivia Newton John but I was myself on a television programme and I looked more like Hattie Jaques Sad Sad

venusandmars · 30/09/2011 15:24

SAW not was Blush

venusandmars · 30/09/2011 15:28

namenotneeded what kind of help do you want? I can tell you that it's OK and that you will go to bed early and sleep of some of your hangover.

Or I could impore you to STOP NOW! Pour the rest of the wine away - just chuck it all down the sink (not stopping to have a last wee glass). Put the kettle on, have a cup of tea and go to bed sober.

But I can't actually make you do that, only you can make that decision.

But I could guess which option would make you feel physically and emotionally better in the morning Smile

thursomuchtolookforwardto · 30/09/2011 15:52

Oooh, I just tried to look at the last photo of Livvy Venus and my computer told me it is FORBIDDEN ON THIS SERVER!!, whatever was she doing? Grin

Legal as Venus says "don't overthink it", pot calling again Grin. The times I have written something jokey (I thought) and then thought "Oh no, that didn't sound right, or it sounds like I'm pissed, or aaargh, now I remember that once someone said......... and it might have upset them" are too numerous to count. None of us can really tell how our posts will be interpreted by everyone.

You're only as weird as me Hmm!! Doesn't seem to matter on here though Smile, someone will always understand what you are getting at.

And if they don't, write an abject apology, like I do (joke).

NNN have you been on here before? Anyways, welcome, have you decided what to do?

thursomuchtolookforwardto · 30/09/2011 15:55

P.s Venus you look nothing like Hattie Jaques, very like the young ONJ though.

MsGee · 30/09/2011 15:59

Sorry for me, me post but DD doing my head in. She's crying, in pain, leaking every 15 mins, lethargic and will she do the one damn thing that will help her ...? No chance. She runs to the loo and screams and cries and she contorts herself to stop pooing. I know it's not physical, she just won't.

I've dealt with every episode well so far this year but this time it's like she can't get past it.

venusandmars · 30/09/2011 16:02

But thurso I want to look rocky and sexy, not so 'lovely' and wholesome and 'nice'!!

I suppose my inability to walk in heels and my disinclination to wear skin-tight leather (think goodness, some would say) might be a bit of an incumberance to that Smile