The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Booze In The Autumn Breeze.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

I'm mouse and I have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I can't have just the one drink, ever.

I'm not alone here, there are Babes who are sober and have been for some time, Babes who are still drinking and trying their best to stop or cut down and then there are Babes who aren't ready to stop drinking. Yet.

So, why not come and say hi?

No judgy pants allowed on here I'm afraid, cakes and cheeses are!

And for those who want to know a bit more about the Bus, HERE is our journey so far.

Silver welcome home, don't leave us again. So sorry to hear about your Mum, rest your weary self here and let us support you for a while.
x

good to see your face silver - i remember you from one of my past journeys on the bus. trying to stay put this time.

so sorry about your mum x

that is impressive work fairenuff! how are you feeling? at least you still went to pilates though i'm thinking working your core would be hard work with all that cake in there

tomorrow is a new day and all that.

day 3 done here.

Evening All

noteven so so pleased for you!!

makeyourown
I like you, thought that life would be unbearable without drinking,
I went to AA last November when I realised that my drinking had played a part in wrecking my 8 year relationship, and actually it hadn't finished with me - it was looking to have my job too!

I too - loved the socialability of myself between drinks 2 -5, but I was also very tired of waking up in the morning not knowing how I got to bed, what I had said to people, who I had upset, offended. Where I was likely to be bruised.
I too - loved the evenings where I could drink and half a fantastically wonderful time and everything went swimmingly, I was witty amusing, didn't make a tit of myself - but those nights were so few and far between and the other nights got more frequent.

I went to AA, hoping with a deep hope that they would say that I did not belong, that I was not one of them, and to toodle off on my merry way.
If they couldn't tell me that - they could tell me how to have the fun nights, and stop having the crap ones! They would give me the secret to how this would work!

Fortunately they said neither of these things, and I listened. I realised that I was worth far more than what alcohol was taking from me. I was lost, I had lost me for a long time.

I have dated since then, and you know what - it is fine sober! Actually it is better, because I make judgements based on my own intuition rather than a drunken fug!
I laugh lots more sober than I did when I was drinking. Yes, my friendship base has changed, and I socialise in a different way sometimes. Although I still go to pubs and have a good time, I also tend to go out for meals more and love going for coffee.
My weekends seem to have got twice as long, and I achieve so much more, and have so much more time for me, coz I am no longer either drinking, or trying to recover.

What I realise is that alcohol pretended to be my friend, but it isolated me not only from my family and my friends, it isolated me from myself. It tried to become my all, and slowly stripped away the good things that I was and I had, I fought back, I am me again, life is good, and god willing and ODAAT I never ever have to go back to that existence.

I used to exist and now I live.

Try it - just one day at a time, try it. If you don't like it - you don't have to stay, but you might just like it

Right - have wittered on for long enough - not reading this back - so if it's a load of shite - please ignore!!

Love to all
Bafana
xx

Isindie Happy Birthday, I hope your busy day went well.

On socialising sober; I don't find it easy, but I never have found socialising easy, that was why I started drinking many, many years ago, to get some dutch courage.

But it is just so much better to wake up the next day without having to worry about what I said or what I did.

If I am not enjoying myself I can make a rational choice to make myself useful to the host by washing up, without smashing all the glasses or chatting to the other sober people who are much more interesting than the incoherent drunks, or if needs be, to leave early (driving myself home). I am happy to be in control and making my own choices.

COME BACK SILVER

I was just thinking about you and Red today. Really sorry to hear about your Mum. How is everything else with you

wow, x posts with loads of people.
silver sorry to hear about your news. Stick with us honey, let us help. (hugs)

Ah but Saf I did not actually eat any of the cake. Not a whiff. I do have the willpower when I apply myself . Btw how do you know the exact day of your cycle? That is impressive. I hate it when that happens, you just feel so crap and bloated but maybe keep up with the walking, especially as the days are so glorious at the moment.

Bafana loved your post. Especially this, What I realise is that alcohol pretended to be my friend, but it isolated me not only from my family and my friends, it isolated me from myself. It tried to become my all, and slowly stripped away the good things that I was and I had, I fought back, I am me again, life is good, and god willing and ODAAT I never ever have to go back to that existence. Well said x

Hi Everybody :)

I am here and I am sober lol :)

just opened a can of Dr. Pepper..and I only have a half a bottle of wine! Didnt buy any at all today, so if I do get tempted, I can only have 2 glasses :)

And thank you all for your comments, of course you are all absolutely right. Please dont think I sit here feeling sorry for myself every night, I dont.

And tomorrow I will fill in the paperwork and get it to my solicitor.

Back from a curry and no wine z(or beer) day one done....
I don't know if I am an alcoholic or not, I just know at the moment I am drinking too much too often and I want to stop. I do know I use booze as a crutch because I lack confidence, but at my age it's time to get over that. Good luck everyone.....

welcome back silver. For God's sake, get that cap of isindie and we can all relax a little.

Great post bafana

And you too Blackduck, I like this - I don't know if I am an alcoholic or not, I just know at the moment I am drinking too much too often and I want to stop. I do know I use booze as a crutch because I lack confidence, but at my age it's time to get over that.

Exactly! It's time to stop letting drink get the better of you, of us all. keep going!

IWW - well done on getting to almost 9pm. That's not easy. I hope you will not only fill out the paperwork, but ensure you post or deliver them too.

Set yourself free.

Right gorgeous people, I'm off to have a hot shower and then to bed. DD is MUCH better, as is DH.

So much so, I'm letting him sleep in the same bed as me!

Be safe and strong Babes.

Oh, and by the way, I have not had a drink since Wednesday night when I had two glasses of beer. DH has wine tonight and I did think about a beer but I got my busy on instead.

So, I am 5 days booze free. 5 days in a run, thanks to being ill, but 5 days none the less.

I think it's time I tried harder. Again.

Night night all xxxx

Silver - if you pop back, please remember where I am. xx

IWW why not leave the wine for today. It's so close to bedtime and we will help you through the next couple of hours. You will feel glad tomorrow.

Blackduck who cares if you're an alcoholic or not. The important thing is you want to change your drinking habits. So do we all on this bus. Stay with us. Well done on getting through today my lovely.

MYOD sorry I called you MYOB earlier. I've got that stuck in my head as it's what I use for my fake email address when you have to fill in something but don't want to receive junk mail - [email protected] (stands for don'[email protected])

Bafana and Fairenuff thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. I'm so glad things are going well for the both of you and really take my hat off to the fact that you are both sober and enjoying your lives more as a result. That is where I would like to be!

But I have tried socialising sober - have tried for weeks and months on end - and it's shit. I feel self conscious about approaching people, I don't know what to do with myself. There are positives of course - it feels good to wake with a clear head and not have to worry what you may have said to someone - and I'm not trying to underestimate those, but I don't have fun.

Ah MYOD life's shit sometimes. Just ask Isindie - she stamps her feet so hard sometimes I'm surprised we don't have holes in the bottom of the bus. (Unless Silver's been under there welding repairs) .

It's not fair and that's the truth .

I don't have any answers for you but we will always be here if you want to vent in your miserable sobriety .

All I can suggest is don't be too hard on yourself. Don't think too much about it. And the golden rule - do not project. Enjoy every sober moment that you can. Like right now.

Well, day 2 managed. My weak points come early in the morning and just after lunch when the kids are being stressy. When I haven't had a drink all day, the house is calm, kids asleep and dh is happy, I rarely feel like one. Dh has beer tonight. I have tea and sparkling water.. Hoping for more sleep tonight.

blackduck love your summation of the problem and glad day 1 has gone ok for you.

makeyourown could you not suggest some non drinking activities - zumba or spinning or a running group? A book club or even charity work?

Well, night all. Nmb x

myodd ask yourself the question - the nights that you go out sober, do you actually go out with the mindset - that because you are not drinking you will not have fun?

Next question - out of the last 10 times you went out, how many times did you really have fun the whole night, and not wake up in the morning and be filled with the deep shamey feeling that kinda sweeps over your body like a fever as you remember what you have done.

I think what changed in me was a mindset.
I no longer (most of the time) feel like I am depriving myself by not drinking, I actually feel that I am giving myself so much freedom. I can talk to whoever I like, I can leave when I like. All the choices that I make are mine, and not alcohols.

To be honest, the day that I stopped drinking, I thought that my life was over. Single, single parent, 37 and now declaring to myself that I was an Alcoholic, and could no longer drink. Life was over. Where would I find any joy in anything.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I have left my misery behind, and got myself back.

I also know that I am one of the lucky ones. My bottom with alcohol was relatively high. I still have my job, my driving license, my liberty, my house. I still have financial security. My children still with me.
I know that I am incredibly fortunate that this is the case, but I am not under any illusion that alcohol would have taken all these from me too.

My problem was once I had one drink, I found it almost impossible to stop until I was passed out drunk.
And it did not start like this, I only started drinking at about age 30!

Ok, once again, not reading back, rambling again!

Yes that's how I feel, like stamping my feet. I never asked for this dammit! I don't want to have a drink problem! I want to be able to drink. But I want to be able to drink normally.

Also... I realise this is a very personal question, but are other women unable to orgasm when drunk? Alcohol has robbed me of many a good time in bed.

lets just put it this way myodd sober sex is pretty fantastic

Bafana yes your last post struck a chord with me. Perhaps what really needs to change is my attitude. Perhaps I just need to re-learn how to have fun without alcohol and how to feel relaxed and desirable with a date without alcohol, and how to feel positive about a million other things without alcohol! Because realistically, that is the only way forward.

Evening people

Noteven WAHEY at getting your dd back all the very best of luck!

MYODD lots of your posts today - you could be talking about me. You seem to have very similar drinking patterns to me before I went to AA. I had several lengthy dry periods but they never lasted. I'm now at a stage of sobriety where my sober periods are longer. I've had a couple of relapses in recovery (one quite recently) but I'm working towards better things and right now I'm throwing myself into recovery work more than I was before and I'm feeling a lot better for it!

I also had times when I didn't drink ridiculously and didn't make a tit of myself but they steadily became fewer and further between. They generally happened when I had a hangover already I've never been a daily drinker and nor have I ever been a morning drinker, but I have absolutely no doubt that I'm an alcoholic. Knowing this is where I began the road to recovery, even though it took me a long time to get into AA.

Isinde happy birthday

don't mention spreadsheets - hate the bastards. DH has hardly said two words to me tonight and is now snoring on the sofa. Oh, the romance!

Only briefly as I'm shattered after having helped an AA friend get a very drunk lady safely home. .
Silver you are lovely to apologise, and completely accepted, now get back here and talk to us if you think it would help, ok? Having just been through something similar - it's a really really tough ask in early sobriety but it is doable. Would you consider going back to AA? Kidney cancer is among the better ones (PM me if I can help on that score though).
Myodd I still think the experience you had is the one I would call "dry" and the experience bafana etc are sharing is what I would call "sober" and though I struggle to define it I do think they are different.
blackduck well done! and IWW I hope you have made it thru the evening, pour the rest away, if you were dependent you'd truly know about it by now.
bafana I remember your blackness (as I started stopping at the same time only to go back for more... and more...) and your journey has been amazing too to watch, I feel you may have failed to mention this sober sex concept over the months however
Right, bed, am emotionally exhausted. That's ok though. Sleep well x

Isinde I have two tabs open, one that use to scroll through the thread and another where I have the message box and type replies as I go