Emotional affair or jealous wife?

[Naetha]

I could namechange but the circumstances would out me instantly so I won't bother.

We've just (i.e. last week) emigrated to Australia. DH was over there for 5 weeks before he flew back to the UK for 5 days then we all flew out together as a family.

DH has generally struggled in the past to make friends, but he made loads of friends in Oz, with one name cropping up a lot more often than others.

So, she's a woman, single (just come out of a long term relationship), works with him and about half my weight. DH never seems to shut up about her - he was out drinking with her (and other people as well) almost every other night, ended up at her flat once (apparently "it wasn't like that" and her other flatmates were there too) and was always talking about her. He kept on saying to me that he didn't know how he could have done it without her as he was so lonely and he missed us so much. They have loads in common, me and her would get on really well blah blah blah.

When DH came back to the UK he was really insistent that he wanted to maintain his social life - we agreed to one night a week, but not to have a proper night out until we were a bit more settled (a couple of weeks I figured). I'm ok with this to some extent - it's great that he's got friends that he can chill out with.

I'm just a bit gutted that we've been here 5 days, it's his second day back at work and he's already out drinking with her. Admittedly, not just her, there's another bloke too, but I just get that sinking feeling in my stomach. He's already been out to lunch with her both days he's been back, there's been loads of text messages (all very innocent, he shows me most of them), taking loads of pictures of her (again, innocuous ones).

Apparently she was really looking forwards to meeting me and the kids (we went in to DH's work an hour after landing to meet people) and wants to go out for a drink with me, yet when I met her she virtually blanked me and just talked to DH in semi-code and in-jokes.

So am I being lonely, bored and jealous, or should I bring it up with DH / do something?

Pleased for you that you had such an open discussion. It's tough making a move abroad and tough adjusting to long times apart so you've been dealing with a double whammy!
I hope you can all relax a bit and enjoy your new home (and find a great baby sitter to give you a break!)

That's great. He sounds like a decent bloke having a twatty moment.

And best that the "friend" is exposed early on for what she is - no friend of your marriage. Now you can both give her a wide berth.

Wishing you all the very best of luck in your lovely new home country!

Really pleased you have cleared the air in such a productive way. All the best with the settling in / househunting

Well done for sorting this out together. I am glad you have re-drawn your boundaries. He has no excuses now if there are any further "twatty" incidents.

Well done talking a lot of couples don't do what's so simple (talking)
Take care and best widgets to you and your family

That was best wishes lol
Stupid predictive texting !!

Glad to hear this is sorted out (only just seen thread) - my take on it would have been that monogamism is clouding the issue and what needed addressing was the fact that he thought it was fine for him to have a social life but your job was to stay at home and do all the childcare and housework. So make sure you keep him up to the mark in that aspect.

morrissey - my H's OW was a long term mutual female friend, we all used to get one really well....

god no don't buy into the paranoia. there are women out there who are capable of being friends with a man.