General internet dating support and chit chat thread

[lubeybooby]

Relationships seems the most appropriate place for this I think? Happy to ask for it to be moved if it's maybe better in _chat or something.

Anyway!

Chit chat your dating/internet dating claptrap here!

Also your hints and tips please for dating in the shark pit on the internet

I'll start.

I'm 31, single and rather fed up of it now. Have a few internet dating profiles, am trying to improve my social life and get out more, even looking out for possible additional temp jobs just to be.... 'out there' a bit more.

Even had a go at cosmic ordering which has been cropping up in dating related threads recently. Now I'm a very scientific and cynical kind of person but when it comes to my (currently appalling) love life I will try anything to give it a bit of a boost. Whether that be focusing the mind on the task in hand or strange unknown forces I care not.

This guy is BRILLIANT. Not at all bitter...

"Best to begin as i mean to go on...I could start with telling you all my hobbies and interests and what makes for a good woman and how I like to spend my days...

I consider this profile as a "work in progress"

I can cut to the quick without meaning to offend...but why bother.

Next i could potentially drop a few one liners here and there at an attempt at humour to show I'm a witty bloke..not going to happen, How am I doing so far???....maybe talk about my plastic existence and how great and funny and easygoing and intelligent and blah de blah, Its not going to happen, so if you are holding your breath, my advice right now would be to exhale...

I'm a straight talker I don't suffer fools and what you see is who I am..an under achiever that really don't give a s* as to what anyone thinks of me

So far as I can see most of the Women on here are looking for George Clooney with a hot tub

NEWSFLASH..he and all like him are attached

Is it at this point I should mention what music i like...its not going to happen!

Ran out of interesting things to say about myself so I will continue when I can be a*d next.

Ahh here is the bit where i say Happy Fishing!....just be careful what your bait attracts!!"

seedlessgrape argh yes that is a common one.

Vomit.

Oh my god cross posted with that awful profile... oh dear me. Oh very very dearie me.

He sounds a cracker Jesus christ

Oh dear god shiney. Just.....what??

Oh God these are cracking me right up

It is true that he probably won't be upset if he doesn't get a reply. Despite many men appearing deluded on the sites, I've heard that they think themselves lucky if a woman bothers to reply.

I haven't heard this from men I've dated from the site, oh no, they get replies, but from a group of losers men whilst on the worst night ever when I dragged some friends to a pub nearby that was the venue for a POF meet up. OMG!

Anyone else been to one?

Here's a gem...

"I AM HERE TO FINED MY GIRL....hi my name is * i am a self employed builder looking for my babe after 2 yrs of being single....my hobbies include,motor sport,shooting,fishing,bowling and having fun...love all sorts of music,but not heavy rock!....i am a nice guy if you meet me you will like me even if we dont click...so lets chat this is what this site is for??? or no chat, no meet, no click, har har.....x ps girls if your not interested its only manners to say so......i hate being ignored....like you would?????. happy days.....xx"

"Do you think we would get on? Your profile is very brief and alluring. I like the photos. The compatibility bar flags up you as a smoker. Are you a militant or are you trying to give up? Take a look at my profile and see if it?s worth carrying the conversation on."

militant smoker? ffs!

I have been told men on dating sites send out up to 50 emails a week, and may get one or two replies at most. Which is why they tend to send, Hi how are you?

Ooo I've never dared to attend a POF meet up, eek, bet it was H-O-R-R-E-N-D-O-U-S!

Here we go:

"Good Morning Babe :) what's your name? Or should I continue calling you babe."

My reply? No, fuck off

I don't reply on principle to the ones who whinge on their profile about how mean and rude women are for not replying. They're always the ones who send the generic text-speaky hunning mails anyway. My profile even SAYS I hate textspeak, it's not like they haven't been warned...

oh, I got one of those!

note the sandwich offer at the end!

help!!!

i am a shallow and horrible horrible person, but i need to let mr wilderness down. GENTLY.

was thinking that i should check out what he looked like again, and then i had a look through some of his pics from being away ( which he emailed me a linnk for) and he looks OLD. really old. like wrinkles and a bald head.

There is no way on this earth that i would ever be attracted to him. It would just never happen.

So i need to cancel.

Hes just text to firm things up for later. what do i say?

It was an absolute freak show, even the women. My friends were gobsmacked! We left and went up town, ended up in a club, and the same group where there following us around. They had the social skills of chimps!

Some of these profiles are hilarious. The one going on about 'private self pleasure zone' is a creep of the biggest kind. Ew!

Kind, affectionate, cleverish, creative, funny, melancholic, introverted, sometimes grumpy, skinny and fit-ish 66 year old, an INFJ in the Myers Briggs thing. Ex dandy but still love good clothes, ex Buddhist but still meditate.
Married with children and live in the country. My marriage is not a success but I'm not going to move because I love the children deeply and I believe their wellbeing and the family economy/stability depend on my remaining where I am. That said I hanker for a close relationship with a woman and wondered if there might be someone out there who'd be interested in exploring a complicated long term relationship/friendship? Of course sex is in there somewhere but I need lots of time and trust before anything like that works for me.
Interested in literature, art, politics, music, philosophy and making the world a better place. Excited by ideas and talking about them.

In my heart I feel I'm an artist or a writer but as yet have not done much to test this belief - though I am working on a film treatment at the moment and there are always dozens of ideas buzzing round my head.
I come to London about once a week for a night and a couple of days.
Oh and just at this moment I am broke so its a pint and sarnies rather than The Ivy.

watchout - I think you need to have rekindled things with an ex/met someone else while he was away. No point if you're definitely not going to fancy him, why waste a valuable babysitter?

Watchout - Just be honest, tell him you dont think there is any potential there for you both and would rather not meet.

"Of course sex is in there somewhere but I need lots of time and trust before anything like that works for me."