General internet dating support and chit chat thread

[lubeybooby]

Relationships seems the most appropriate place for this I think? Happy to ask for it to be moved if it's maybe better in _chat or something.

Anyway!

Chit chat your dating/internet dating claptrap here!

Also your hints and tips please for dating in the shark pit on the internet

I'll start.

I'm 31, single and rather fed up of it now. Have a few internet dating profiles, am trying to improve my social life and get out more, even looking out for possible additional temp jobs just to be.... 'out there' a bit more.

Even had a go at cosmic ordering which has been cropping up in dating related threads recently. Now I'm a very scientific and cynical kind of person but when it comes to my (currently appalling) love life I will try anything to give it a bit of a boost. Whether that be focusing the mind on the task in hand or strange unknown forces I care not.

welcome chaotic will pm you too. :)

Hi flatbellyfella. Cheers mate!

Thank you :)

I did try OKCupid at one point, I think I've tried most of them at sometime I get bored easily and keep moving on I did join Match.com but membership has ran out so I'm not using it atm. I'll probably go back to it eventually though because I did like it.

I quite like cupid but some of the questions are quite invasive seen as others can view them. At the drop of a hat someone can see your opinions on drugs, sex fetish's, kids, anal sex etc etc It is good though to see how well matched you would be with someone personality wise. I am on okcupid and pof but I was on smooch. As you can see I'm too much of a skinflint to pay although I have heard that guys on the pay sites are more serious about looking for a relationship - doesn't stop then from being boring/unattractive to me though

Zany you can answer questions privately but then you can't see the other persons answer. I recently decided I didn't care and just made them all public but I did have all the sex questions private.

I ditched pof a few days ago, huge relief :o

If my current dates and possible dates don't work out I will give match a fair go.

zany - ive been on match.
It wasnt any better, and i cant really say that any one was more serious. There were less ' top off' profiles, and less obviously stating they were just after a shag. But that was about it.
PLUS - most of them on there, were also on the free ones too.

Occassionally when i get sick of pof ( am also on okc.. but there isnt many men in my area on it) i join match, and then instantally regret it.

I like Match because I have had some success with it. Okay, I haven't met 'the one' obviously but I have had a few enjoyable dates on there.

Tbh I'm thinking of coming off Smooch for a bit as it seems full of single dads and/or short men neither of which I'm looking for.

I have probably been too gullable trusting before when I have read guys profiles but I did come across an ex who I dated for a few months this year and he called himself faithfull and loyal. Well I know that he cheated on his ex wife several times so it has made me a bit more cynical when I read profiles now.

Has anyone else ever had the experience of meeting someone online and getting on really well with them and really fancying their pictures (is there such a thing as online chemistry do people think) only to have a meet not happen?

I met this guy on GSM last January and we have been communicating on and off since. We are not compatible (he wants kids, I don't want anymore plus there is a large distance between us) but in spite of this there seems to be this massive pull there and we always seem to end up chatting again.

We have arranged quite a few dates and at the last minute he always backs out, citing our differences. To be honest I don't care - I'd be happy with just a fling anyway - but he's looking for the real deal. (I haven't told him that by the way.)

I feel a proper idiot writing this because I can see everything about my post screams forget it, not into you! but he's really got under my skin. He's the only person I've ever met online that I felt I really fancied before I even met them.

I can't see why meeting up has to be such a big deal - we're not committing to getting married. He's said he feels a real 'physical and mental connection' so what gives?

I've almost posted about this before on relationships but couldn't quite face the inevitable onslaught of people telling me I was being pathetic.

Happens all the time. I call it the "false intimacy" of the internet.

Hmm... I think you're probably right not to meet. There's a big risk of hurt there if you did get on and all went well... for what.. a few months, a year, 2 years... but eventually those issues would come up and the kids thing is a pretty serious one that I've seen many split up over despite everything else being perfect.. It's easy to say you'd be ok with just a fling but you don't know what feelings might crop up if that happened... so yeah. Too much scope for hurt I reckon.

chaotic I met Mr Engineer on eharmony - I was about to claim back my money back guarantee then he contacted me :) Even though I'm only 5'2" I am a height snob too and like men to be a minimum of 5'10, but Mr.E is only 5'8 and in my 5" heels we are the same height which feel a bit ewwww but he is such a lovely fella in every other aspect that I'm thinking I would be a fool to ditch him for a couple of inches ......well, he could always make up for that in another department hey?

shiney- its bollocks, you know that. Even if it was dead, you would just plug it in and charge it up. You can still use a phone when its charging.

Oh and I want to update you all on Mr Warty - I dumped him my text - all my real life friends told me to, so i did. And he didn't reply. And he still has my broken hedge trimmer!!

shine don't bother contacting him again!!!! He's a liar!!!

shine you can buy a charger online from amazon and get it delivered the next day - offer to buy him one and see what he says lol!

That's right shiney re: the making an effort thing. It's very important to me and every relationship I've been in there's at least been a whole lot of effort at the start and it's been easy.

Right - nurofen cold and flu. Okey dokey. I will get some tomorrow, have to make do with sudafed for now.

Oh and agree re: no more messing about with dates

And yes Shiney he is either lying or useless. A no either way....

but then what did he do with the charger when he got the phone? and why hasnt he got a replacement? Surely he needs it for work/children.
AND, if he did want to get in contact with you ( as he should want to) why isnt he calling from a landline? or emailing or anything? Or just charging his damn phone up.

If hes not calling you, hes not into you. Harsh, i know. But true.
You are better than that...:)

shiney but isn't this man a professional with a busy life? I just don't believe a man that can hold down a decent professional life cannot keep a mobile phone together. What does he mean he doesn't have a charger? So go to the shop and buy one then, it's not rocket science!!

Have you discussed this with him?

Yup shiney, he is a waste of time and as you say, look at P! Thats what it should be like and what you should want.

Make - Have you told him you would be up for a fling and nothing else? Even just FWB say? If you have and he is still cancelling on you, he is just a waste of time. Hard as it is, block him and be done with it.

I feel a bit out of place on this thread now! S text me suggesting we begin 'seeing each other' if I was up for it and that he would miss me. Which means no more dating sites for me! I may just lurk about though if thats okay, I want to see how you all get on!

Oooh stay! Yes please lurk about your input is still needed! :o