Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

General internet dating support and chit chat thread

988 replies

lubeybooby · 19/09/2011 22:15

Relationships seems the most appropriate place for this I think? Happy to ask for it to be moved if it's maybe better in _chat or something.

Anyway!

Chit chat your dating/internet dating claptrap here!

Also your hints and tips please for dating in the shark pit on the internet

I'll start.

I'm 31, single and rather fed up of it now. Have a few internet dating profiles, am trying to improve my social life and get out more, even looking out for possible additional temp jobs just to be.... 'out there' a bit more.

Even had a go at cosmic ordering which has been cropping up in dating related threads recently. Now I'm a very scientific and cynical kind of person but when it comes to my (currently appalling) love life I will try anything to give it a bit of a boost. Whether that be focusing the mind on the task in hand or strange unknown forces I care not.

OP posts:
hellsbells76 · 22/09/2011 17:28

I think you've dodged a bullet there. Can you make the most of your new hairdo and hit the town with some mates tonight instead?

Well I've just had this generic-tastic mail arrive. Honestly, do these guys have no idea how desperate they sound? And don't panic love, I saw your pics and didn't think you were 19 for a minute...

"You look and sound lovely,I have done all sorts, built up and sold companys, been a soldier, played in a band, and these days I sell crude oil to foreign governments . I am tall slim, brown hair and eyes. I am not 19 by the way, just cant change it now, I didnt fill it in right, and now its set in stone. Dont worry about the distance or what it says on my location.I am spending a lot of time in Ireland at the moment, where my mother lived, and sadly she passed away a while ago, so wrapping things up in Ireland, living my life in London. .
I have a house in London, And love all the usual stuff about London, but also love discovering little corners and secrets. Please don't worry about the distance, I am really looking, and would be happy to locate where ever I find my girl if things ever got that far, and in the early days, going out with someone in another town can be a good idea, its not too in your face, as it were.
Anyway, I really hope I do hear from you x"

Original poster
lubeybooby · 22/09/2011 17:31

Fairyloo - you were only a little curt and it wasn't a dumping or ignoring offence (from you). If he was worth having he would have replied with 'hey I'm really sorry' and put some effort in to sorting out the misunderstanding. Like I said, lucky escape. Please don't look at it as YOUR fuck up, it wasn't. He is a knob!

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 22/09/2011 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fairyloo · 22/09/2011 17:37

Oh you guys are lovely!!

Have you told your real life mates about it. I'm too embarrassed which is annoying as I'm a grown women and I wouldn't laugh if someone told me they were doing it. So why am I embarrassed??

Fairyloo · 22/09/2011 17:38

The it being online dating, sorry that wasn't very clear

HairyGrotter · 22/09/2011 17:38

Oh Fairyloo, the dude needs to grow up if he's going to blank texts because you happened to be a little curt on a response. Of course you were going to be a little curt, you were disappointed and possibly a little pissed off.

Hells, that guy sounds like a douche, makes me shudder.

HairyGrotter · 22/09/2011 17:39

My mates know and they are always eager to find out more. It felt tragic at first, but then I realised that I'm a lone parent and most of my friends are married or too scared to set me up with someone, so I had to take matters into my own hands.

I'm now looking at dating as a laugh mainly because if I took it too seriously, I'd end up alone with 78 cats licking wallpaper.

Original poster
lubeybooby · 22/09/2011 17:41

Fairy yes my RL friends know. It's not a taboo or weird thing anymore everyone does it. We use the internet for everything now don't be embarassed!

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 22/09/2011 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HairyGrotter · 22/09/2011 17:46

Aww shame, a man I've been having a bit of banter with all day just did the classic 'So, have you got any more photos'...I hate that. My photos show me in full, I have a close up and a full body shot, why the fuck do you need more?

hellsbells76 · 22/09/2011 17:50

Oh that pisses me off too. Especially when it comes from someone with no photos themselves! I usually curtly point out that I don't really want to feel like a slab of meat or a horse having its teeth checked at market and could they kindly fuck off please.

stayforthekids1 · 22/09/2011 17:50

Fairyloo - seriously if I had got the sort of text you had sent him, I would probably have fucked you off. Sorry! But I think that if you had come on here saying you had sent his text and that was his reply to you, people would probably say the same thing. I think!

I think he obviously did like you and was hurt by your reply so now he is not ignoring you but letting you know he thinks you arent interested so isnt going to make a fool of himself. Just my impression. I am not exactly skilled in the art of bloke.

stayforthekids1 · 22/09/2011 17:51

oh sorry didnt realise there was like another ten replies, must refresh page. He WAS blanking you so yeah, dont bother with him Grin

HairyGrotter · 22/09/2011 17:51

Might steal that response. It is somewhat like a 'show pony' being presented to judges.

I must admit, I rarely notice the photos, I'm usually too busy reading the profile, then I might check them out and be disappointed.

ike1 · 22/09/2011 18:06

Currently doin the on-line dating thing again. Good god it hasn't got any better since the last time I looked a year ago. Polyamorous vampires anyone?? (OKC) then the usual u look ausom bebe (pof). Match still has alot of the same old suspects as last time. Oh god suddenly the mad ex who I sent for counselling seems much more preferrable.

Fairyloo · 22/09/2011 18:29

Stay for the Kids you would have fucked me off for saying whatever?? I think it was a bit curt but not worth fucking me off?

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2011 18:46

gals gals....language, please!

LittleHousebytheRiver · 22/09/2011 18:52

Sorry fairy I would have as well. It sounds very sullen and teenagery even if it was just you being a bit hurt and let down!

Language is a tricky thing. One person's seductive chat up is another's nightmare

charlottesmum5 · 22/09/2011 18:57

hairy if you are on facebook, do a search for cats, I did this the other (datefree) night and sadly 'liked' about 4 pages all about 'selling your cats on ebay because you've found a boyfriend, then buying them back again because he dumped you'....and the suchlike...

RumourOfAHurricane · 22/09/2011 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2011 19:20

I asked ecoplumber to get me some smoked spanish paprika so I could make him paella...

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2011 19:21

let's hope to god its not some naff perfume....

Original poster
lubeybooby · 22/09/2011 19:24

Be very interesting to see what it is Shiney! When (roughly) are you seeing him again?

VNM1 is making it clear he is very keen on me. I am enjoying it massively I have to say.

VNM2 (the one with social anxiety) has gone a bit quiet but I'm glad because he is quite frighteningly intelligent and it was a real brain strain keeping up. Glad to be able to rest the grey matter for a bit.

OP posts:
Hatesponge · 22/09/2011 19:34

Am so glad that everyone's POF experiences are similar to mine. If I read one more profile where someone is looking for a 'sole mate' I may have to poke myself in the eye with a sharpened stick....

here is an email I received today:

WoW wel what do i say!! i'm speechless and that has to be a first for me, your a very attractive lady i know it must sound corney and dated. but i'm a firm beliver that if you see a beautiful lady then you must tell her otherwise why they are making the effort to look so good.

i have read your profile and it speaks volumes to me and say's quiet alot about you, would love to find out more about you if you would give me the chance.

please have a look and read of my profile and if you like wot you read and maybe see then i hope you may reply.

if there is anything else that you may want to know about me then the same applies drop me a message and i will only be to happy too reply.x'

I am tempted to reply pointing out his spelling mistakes and grammatical errors....

This is a step up perhaps from a one line email I previously received, the sender saying he thought I looked hotter than a glamour model Hmm I tried to think of a witty reply, and gave up and just deleted it instead!

I do honestly think men on POF (probably applies to some extent to all) are all either totally thick, complete pervs, or have serious issues. Sometimes all 3.

stayforthekids1 · 22/09/2011 20:02

Sorry fairy, I didnt mean to offend! Not just the whatever, but as I said, I am presuming he may have text you the way he did because he was worried you would arrive, find him choked up with a cold and be a bit put off, or not wanting to catch it as some people dont. So then HE would be hoping you would still want to see him regardless, then get that back and be all hurt. Anyways, its a personal thing I suppose, some people may not be that bothered. Dont get all paranoid, its only me Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread