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Original poster

It's official. ALL men are bastards.

163 replies

lifeisbetter · 15/09/2011 14:53

...apart from my dad.

They really are.

For a long time I lhave ooked at their positive sides, but all men will turn out to be bastards in the end.

Sometimes men can be quite nice I suppose - especially the younger ones, who are not yet tarnished by some degree of masogyny and cannot perve over of women twenty years their junior.

What happens to them when they reach 35? They all turn out to be sad little leacherous fools.

It's their fault that the divide between men and women just gets bigger as we all get older. Because they don't mature. Women improve and men just become gross.

I'm finding it very hard to like them at all to be honest.

...apart from my dad.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 16/09/2011 19:52

do you wear those stripy, scratchy knitted hats with dangly bits over your ears ?

confidence · 16/09/2011 21:08

@ Malifience -

I wonder how confidence feels now, having been told by other men ( he obviously thinks that women's opinions don't count) that they don't fit his alarmingly grim proclamations of what it is to be male. Not quite so smug, I hope.

What on earth did I say that suggests I think womens' opinions don't count? You're entirely making that up out of thin air. I don't see how anything I said was "smug" either. I was just giving my opinion.

As for how many men fit my description - well it wasn't a very precise description and I never claimed 100%. I was talking about tendencies and the difference between what a lot of men think and feel and really want themselves, and how they are socialised to behave around women. And while I would reject your implication that the tiny microcosm of this thread is a significant enough sample to judge by, it's also true that even here: for every description of how men are not "like that", there's probably been two or three of men who are.

I also suspect that a lot of the claims about men who are not "like that" largely miss the point. These are by women whose husbands have managed to maintain the act well enough to keep them happy and thinking it's real. That's fine, I understand that's how society works and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. But if these women turned round tomorrow and said "you know darling, I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I really don't think sexual fidelity is as important as it's made out to be - I don't want anyone else, but if you wanted to go and play around with anyone you like it wouldn't matter. I'd still be here for you and I wouldn't mind..."

... then most of those husbands would be out the door quicker than you can breathe.

AnyFucker · 16/09/2011 21:18

con, what do you think those same husbands would think if wifey said "you go shag who you like, I am doing the same" ?

confidence · 16/09/2011 21:27

LOL. That's a very good question.

I suspect most of them wouldn't like it - they want to have their cake and eat it; be free to shag who they like while also having the security of a possessive attitude to their own partner.

Although individual cases will vary, of course.

AnyFucker · 16/09/2011 21:30

damn right they wouldn't like it

OberonTheHopeful · 16/09/2011 21:30

... then most of those husbands would be out the door quicker than you can breathe.

Perhaps you're talking to the wrong men, or projecting your own ambitions. Many of us don't think that way at all, we exercise free will and discrimination. Every single one of my male friends in a long term relationship wouldn't dream of behaving in the way you describe (they wouldn't be my friends if they did) and you do many of us a disservice in assuming we share your feelings.

exoticfruits · 16/09/2011 21:40

Not the ones that I know.

billysolloxx · 16/09/2011 22:00

easy to blame men, maybe you just have crap taste in men?

Malificence · 16/09/2011 22:02

Nice to be told by someone who has no idea of the man my husband is, that he has more than likely been maintaining an act for the 30 years I have known him.
FYI, I've just asked him how he would feel if said he had my permission to go and shag around, he would assume that I no longer cared about him and that our marriage was over.

Smug was an understatement.

petisa · 16/09/2011 22:28

So a feathery stroker is someone who strokes you in a feathery way?

petisa · 16/09/2011 22:29

Getting back to the really important part of the debate

Petisa · 16/09/2011 23:16

Bugger, you've all fecked off and now I'll never be sure of what a feathery stroker is

OberonTheHopeful · 16/09/2011 23:22

I've been dying to know too!

Pan · 16/09/2011 23:24

can you google it?

I have learned to NOT google stuff from round here.....

OberonTheHopeful · 16/09/2011 23:39

OK, I googled. Saying no more.

confidence · 16/09/2011 23:41

Fair enough. Maybe I'm wrong.

BertieBotts · 17/09/2011 10:10

(no brain bleach required, don't know what you've been googling!)

dahlia4 · 17/09/2011 11:24

I would love to meet a nice man. Had experience of the others. In the end you work out, after great expense to yourself and dc, that they (bastards) are bad for your health and well-being, and what is the point of wasting your time on a bastard who really doesn't give a toss about anyone but himself, and what he needs. I'll try to keep an open mind. I really will!

AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 11:40

My personal definition of a Feathery Stroker

A man who tickles you lightly when what you want is firm handling . Someone who will spend a teeth-grittingly long time gently stroking you, thinking that you like it when you want to scream your fucking head off "just shag me fgs"

Too gentle, too restrained, 2 hours of foreplay agggghhh

BelleDameSansMerci · 17/09/2011 11:45

I know I am an expert at choosing crap men but at least they're not FSs.

BelleDameSansMerci · 17/09/2011 11:46

AF, darling, do forgive me but I rather had you pegged as someone who would say "just shag me"...

AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 11:47

BDSM, I take it as a compliment, m'dear

Meelion123 · 17/09/2011 12:02

swap around the words "punting" and "uk" - put the words together (no spaces) and google it. Guaranteed you will vomit and it will be very hard to believe that not all men are bastards. (if you read it that is, think you need to register with an email address- you could always make one up)

AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 12:05

mee, that site has been discussed on here before, there are several similar ones I believe

not all men are like that

just the woman-hating ones

and the women who service the woman-haters use them too, I am afraid

Meelion123 · 17/09/2011 12:26

A woman I know who works as an escort told me about that one, and I signed up under a male name with a made - up email, and read some of it. I was actually physically sick.
The lady in question is very negative about men and angry, and no wonder - if those are the sort of 'men' she has to deal with on a daily basis. Yuk Yuk Yuk.

I try to be optimistic and keep believing that there are lots of good men out there. My dad is OK as far as I know to my mum before she died and to his partner he has now. One of my uncles is a lovely man and I lived with him and my aunt when I was a teenager, but most of the other uncles are vile (with concrete examples of such vileness). My previous boyfriends have all been vile, my P I have now has faults and we have problems which may be insurmountable but is definitely not a woman-hater.

I keep reminding myself that men need love too, and understanding and companionship. Not all men are like those on that site. Must...keep...reminding...self...of....this...fact. Maybe I am oversensitive, but when I did read that site I was really alarmed that there are men out there who think like that. It's quite scary. ie - "she had a pimp and looked depressed and like she's rather kill herself than be there", insert moans about unsafe dangerous sex acts not being on offer, then goes to to say something like "I fucked it and unloaded in it anyway, but a waste of your hard-earned money guys" - I was actually shocked that men like this exist in those numbers. I thought only a tiny minority of disturbed and criminal individuals would actually see a human being in this way.

I dread to think that younger, impressionable males may be reading sites like that and thinking it's ok to treat fellow humans as disposable holes.

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