Hi, thought I would update as you were kind enough to help. Well, it was hideous. When he came downstairs I was crying and he tried to hold my hand. I shook my head, and told him straight out. I answered everything he asked, who, why, how long, who knew. He said some harsh, but true things, about my behaviour, cried, took a shower and then told me he couldn't forgive me letting the children find out. After 3 hours he said he always had, and always would love me, and we had a future together.
To see him in so much pain was unbearable. Youngest daughter had arrived back in the middle of this, so we asked her to go out for a while. She's the one that insisted I tell him, the other two were content for me to sort it out myself and not cause him any unnecessary hurt. There is a tiny bit of me that thinks she's banging on about honesty, yet she was going through my private correspondence to find out about it, but on the other hand she's just protecting her dad, and at 18 life is very black and white. Anyway, he took her out for a walk, then rang the other two.
He told me that the line he was taking was that this was a dishonourable man, who had taken advantage of me at a vulnerable time in my life, and we were going to put it all behind us and start again. I can't tell you how much I love him, for his actions, words and deeds. I've promised to committ myself 100 percent to him, move with him if necessary (he's worked away for the past 6 years), and god, I really mean it. I didn't suggest the couples counselling, having read your comments, it won't have gone down well, but am looking into it for myself. It's going to be a long haul, but I think we can do it. And, he did want to go ahead with the dinner party, as he didn't fancy a weekend of long silences, and tbh, he was right. Lovely friends, who had no idea, and it gave us a chance to be a couple again. Thank you for all your kind words.