The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sweeping Into Autumn With A One Way Ticket To Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Phew, just in time!

I'm mouse and I love a few to drink. I love all things cheese and I love MrMouse

Welcome to the Bus. We are a collection of drinkers, non-drinkers, and those who are somewhere in between but we all have the same thing in common, we can't just have 1 drink and then stop.

Come say hi, we don't bite .

Here are the other threads to date, if you have a spare hour or seven to kill.

OUR HISTORY

Morning all, morning thurso

I read your posts yesterday, and I was thinking about something you wrote about thinking you "don't deserve dh". Thing is, we don't get a partner in life (good or bad) because we deserve them, we find a partner because at some point, at some time something connects us, and upon that connection we build a shared history - often marriage, often children, sometimes good, sometimes awful. But through it all we have to keep re-evaluating the connection that brought us together in the first place. Maybe it develops and strengthens, maybe it diminishes and disappears, maybe it is fractured beyond repair by the behaviour of one partner or the other. But it will always change in some way, and expecially at key points we need to readjust.

I know in my own life that I am much more conscious of the changes than dp is, and more ready and prepared to readjust. He would be happy if everything just went on day after day, year after year, always the same (I would hate that). Of course life is not static, and work changes, bereavement, major life events all impact, but dp finds it much more difficult to anticipate and to deal with. And then because he doesn't like to anticipate change it sometimes hits him hard when it does happen.

I think dp would say (if he spoke about it ) that I worry too much in advance, and overthink how things mught play out, but for me that enable me to be prepared and to deal with things as they occur.

Anyway, too much early morning rambling.

Have a good day all.

Morning saf x-posted with you.

I find that a good way to get dp's time for talking is either in the car on a long journey (when he can't escape ) or on a long walk.

I think that in both cases it's about not having to have the 'complete' conversation in one go (before he disappears off into the garage or wherever), but having time to speak about it gently, percolate thoughts, listen to replies, and build on it. Allowing times for silence inbetween, or even other topics of conversation.

Also when you're in the car or walking you're not facing each other so you can raise confrontational things without being face-to-face confrontational iyswim.

Morning babes,

thurso I have no advice other than try to talk to DH to see if he will tell you what is going on saf and venus have good ideas.

ma your DH does sound incredible (at work).

mouse I do know what you mean re DD. I think that she is dealing with a lot now, she is definitely feeling changes from all angles, I have been distracted (both with work and myself), DH is stressed at work, so not always here at bedtime, lots of children are leaving her nursery and going to school, her best friend has left for a new nursery and she is going to nursery an extra half day (which neither of us like but I don't know how else to manage my work). I think its a combination of all of these things that she feels a need to be with me.... but, I cannot be any use to her if I can't sleep and she pees on the carpet out of sheer anger at me.

I think a key problem is that whilst all of this has been going on she hasn't had clear boundaries (or rather they haven't grown as she has). So, I am addressing that whilst reassuring her... its just a struggle to get the balance. I am totally wet when it comes to discipline, I just think if I shower her in love it will be ok. And that isn't cutting it at the moment. She is a funny combination of being super sensitive, very independent and the most stubborn person I have ever met. And like any 3.5 year old she needs boundaries and I don't think I have been consistently giving those to her. I do feel awful - we are both hurting over her sleep problems but really its my fault - I am the parent. I just need to step up a bit more.

Anyway, I hope that Nemo had a good night and you got some sleep yourself.

Its a beautiful autumn day here, the light is amazing. I wish you ladies could all come over for a coffee and a cake.

Today I will not be drinking (day 2). x

Isinde sorry x post. Sorry to hear about the row with DP ... can you take a break to stomp out to the park with her - an hour now might mean that you work better for the rest of the day?

I totally understand the dilemma of self employment not being given the same 'status' as other jobs in relationships. I don't have a solution though, sorry. xx

I have the difficult concept of tyring to get dp to understand that my 'workspace' is bigger than just my office. And that if I came to his work and left my breafast dishes in their sink all day, then he'd get really pissed off with me.

Hi all and thanks for all the welcomes and advice

I did manage not to drink wine last night feel proud but also a bit grotty today, my teeth hurt i think I must have been grinding them in my sleep due to lack of wine

I'm going to hit Tesco at lunchtime to get some posh cordial and fizzy water because I got diet coked out last night

So day 2 on the bus and feeling positive I might even buy a season ticket, I think I am going to start as a Sunday to Thursday non drinker and see how it goes, then aim to not get drunk on Fri/Sat surely i can do that?

Of course you can do that pinkwellies! Actually, I find it easier not to drink at weekends, and special occasions (like christmas/birthdays) than I do on a boring tuesday, or an anxious thursday, or when I'm sad/happy/cross/lonely... lol I could go on My point is that there is some kind of focus on times when non-alcoholics might have a drink. My problem is when I let my guard down

Hello people I've not been here for a while (yet again!) I admitted my relapse to my sponsor and now she's on my case big style I'm struggling to make a meeting every day - she wants me to do 90 in 90, but I have a job so I can't make daytime meetings and I have kids who need feeding and a taxi service at various points during the evening. I try my best to work their needs around meetings but it's not always possible. I can only do my best.

We're having fairly major teenager problems again, I have a meeting this afternoon to see what we can do to encourage her to participate in her education. We have all bent over backwards to try find an acceptable educational model for her and each and every time we think we've found it she begins to refuse to engage. Gah. Kids, huh?

Morning, just checking in, nothing exciting to report except that I still am not in possession of any acorns / conkers

We have 3 beautiful conkers but I encountered the most enormous spider I've ever seen in the bathroom last night. I washed him/ her down the plughole and told DD that it was just like a waterslide for spiders

I am feeling loads better today and trying to suppress the urge to try and go at double speed to make up for lost time. I am chasing up return to work, starting to sort out our house move, and finding out more about probate already this morning after the school run so I am not really succeeding! DD had a great evening and slept ok and I am feeling reasonably positive about things. Just doing as I'm told on a daily basis - and it's making such a difference.

I am on Day 5 of no drinking (no biggie really as don't tend to drink during the week), am also on Day 5 of Champix (aid to stop smoking) so am all over the place

Afternoon Brave Babes

4 broken hours of sleep last night. Nemo really struggles at night with his cleft and a cold, think I might ask for the suction machine back to clear him out. Poor little chap

Sorry to hear about the row IsinDe, I hope things calm down later xx

Golly - nice to see you again, and yes, you can only try your best.

noteven - great post from you, very positive.

Obrigada - I'm worried about you........ please keep posting.

wellies - well done you!!! such a great post from you. In answer to your question, you can do it if you want to, of course you can! No projecting though. Worry about the weekend, at the weekend.

MsGee - please don't feel guilty about DD will you? She'll be grand, you know what the issues are so you're more than halfway there with her. You understand why she's doing this so you can fix this. Keep going but take care of you too. xx

We went to stay & play but Nemo wanted to come home early (not like him) so we are now snuggling up and the sofa watching CBeebies.

What a gorgeous day it is here, all fresh and clean smelling. Blue skies for as far as the eye can see, the trees are just turning into their autumn colours, lovely.

X posted! Sorry Obrigada, your post is much more upbeat than your last!

Hey Mouse, am very up and down at the minute, hope my post didn't sound facetious (if that's the right word) ... meant I don't deserve any claps on the back for Day 5 of no drinking!

Morning BB's, I'm feeling quite good today, realised that although I haven't managed to not drink in the week I have cut down loads as I can't remember the last time I woke up with a bad hangover. Been getting to bed early each night to try and get rid of the circles under my eyes but not tackled the diet/gym yet.

Had a big chat with XP last night and warned him that he was slipping into his old ways with regards to how he behaved and that I won't accept it and if he thinks we have a future then he needs to buck his ideas up. It may not sound like a big thing but as he said goodnight he did say he will think over what I had said. He used to dismiss my views/feelings but we'll see.

DD started Brownies last nght and loved it and I also asked XH round to chat about the DC's as he has been having problems between them and his girlfriend and son getting on. I feel bad as my DD told me things that happened between them and I wasn't sure I believed her, turns out she was telling the truth and so have had words with XH and told him he needs to be backing up his DC's more. Hopefully we have finally cleared the air

SAF - Horse Chestnut = conkers

Day 4 for the cold but as with everything Nemo gets, you can double or triple the length of expected time he'll have it. Zumba rocks! I'm not fit enough to do it but they have it at the Spa we went to. I'm hoping that one day, I'll be able to more than just swim and walk.........

I can just about walk today because of the lack of rest.

Nemo's nurse was so impressed with how much he's come on since she last saw him, 4 weeks ago, and couldn't believe how chatty he was with her!

MIL has had her CT scan, no results for a week or two....... She is back at home though so if the aneurysm had gotten much worse, they'd have kept her in I think?

Obrigada - you have my number I think, if you want to talk off board, please let me know. This mouse has rather large ears!

Right , fizzy water purchased along with Elderflower cordial.
Oh the shame of not knowing where to find the water in Tesco but I sure as hell know where the wine is.

My head still feels fuzzy but i guess that is wine withdrawal a bit so going to stick with it and hope it gets better as the days jog along. Day 2 so not conquered the addiction but it still feels good

Thanks all

Good luck IsinDe xx

And yes, I shall give Nemo a hug from you guys. Well done on talking to DP. You two are made of stronger stuff aren't you? Don't let anything get in the way of the feelings you have for one another. Rise above the hard times xx