The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sweeping Into Autumn With A One Way Ticket To Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Phew, just in time!

I'm mouse and I love a few to drink. I love all things cheese and I love MrMouse

Welcome to the Bus. We are a collection of drinkers, non-drinkers, and those who are somewhere in between but we all have the same thing in common, we can't just have 1 drink and then stop.

Come say hi, we don't bite .

Here are the other threads to date, if you have a spare hour or seven to kill.

OUR HISTORY

I thought it was conkers in your bedroom to ward off spiders (well that's what I told dd2).

clambering use cress or moss for grass and lentils for the paths.

isindie it is actually warm and sunny here in hairy haggis land, we don;t often tell people that though 'cos they'd all want to come here and disturb our peace.

hi to wellies.

Just rushing out. Will come back and read properly later.

Zany when you really love someone you want to be with them, hear their ideas and plans, support them, laugh with them, learn from them. It should not be hard work. If he has trouble showing it I'm guessing he's not really feeling it. When you feel it, you can't help but show it. Look how soppy we all are over our kids . It's natural, we love 'em, and it shows. Your DP should be a source of comfort and protection. A safe haven. Please don't settle for less than you are worth, you lovely babe.

Saf autumn is my favourite season. So much change; today it was cold and blustery this morning and now the sun it hot and the air is fresh and that gorgeous harvest moon so bright last night. Love, love, love it.

Welcome to Wellies nice to meet you.

Good evening lovelies,

Sorry I have got some time now, so this post is going to be a bit "me", feel free to ignore it.

I have been ill since Sunday, and before that, DH and I decided that as we won't have lashings of money this year (thanks DC!), we would make some Christmas presents.
Cue DH coming in from squash on Monday, and at 10 o'clock at night making the fucking piccalilli that he started on Sunday. He was in last night, but, fell asleep at 9, then out playing again tonight and tomorrow, and has a work "do" on Friday, the day before we have to get to London by 9, to move DC1 in and make up all the flat pack furniture!

Is this the way that he is dealing with the Dc's leaving? Or is it something worse?

I just don't know, I think it may be the old problem starting with him.

Have to go DC2 is down.

Much love

xxxx

I just feel so miserable,

I have always thought that I don't deserve DH (because of all the things I did), but, now, I wonder if he did always dissociate himself from things.

I expect it's my fault, I always "overthink" things.

Thanks for being there my friends
xx

Thurso maybe it's the old problem triggered by the change of in life with both DC going. Probably seems worse to you at the moment because you are feeling laid low by the flu (if you have a temperature it is flu, not a cold). Can you/do you want to set aside some time with DH when DC2 has moved out? Maybe you just need to reconnect?

And of course it is not 'your fault' both partners need to make an effort. This is a really tough time in a marriage, a time when you have to decide if you are still partners, or were just Mum and Dad, now that role has diminished it takes some readjustment.

thurso take some time for yourself my lovely. You have been poorly and that's what's probably making you feel so low. Have some chocolate

Have you told DH how you feel? I would ask him to stay home one night, or for you to go out together to the cinema or something. Tell him that you want to spend some time together. What about a swim if he wants some exercise, or a blustery walk. Collect some conkers to keep them hairy spiders out

Do not blame yourself. You are only human, let it out girl x

Well Nemo is in bed! His own bed!

And now I'm off to watch some much needed tv with DH.

Has anyone heard from Luci, TheBoss or Strawbs lately?

Come and say a quick hi all those who are MIA.

Night Babes xx

Fingers crossed for a good sleep tonight Mouse. Nighty night x

Thank you BB, I think that I want to re-connect, but, for some reason DH either doesn't want to, or can't.

I have booked the some theatre tickets, and have made sure that I will be busy, but, DH doesn't seem interested at the moment.

I feel very much on my own, and DC2 hasn't even left yet! I so want him to have a happy time for the next week and a half, but he is finding DH a bit strange at the moment. I get home just to be around whenever I can from work, but, DH obviously doesn't find it necessary to do the same. I have taken a step back from DC2, so as not to crowd him, yet, he still will wander down and talk, I am so glad, so why is bloodyDH not here!

I am so sorry for ranting and raving, but the way I feel tonight, I can only talk, or I will do something worse!!

So sorry
xxxx

hey thurso hang in there. Is DH still taking a.d.s? How has he been mentally recently. is he apprehensive about life once the DSs move out.
thinking of you
m

X posted.

Thank you , my friends indeed.

no need to be sorry, I know how hard it is. here's something to make you giggle, I just had a call from the Sunday Times Wine Club. They asked for me by name, I think they must be missing me

Poor lad was a bit taken aback when I asked him to remove my name from his database since I am now a recovering alcoholic!

You know when your DC are really little and they start school or nursery, sometimes they start to be horrid to Mummy and try to push you away. This is their way of breaking that first link of connection, and helps them to feel better about leaving you.

Maybe your DH is subconciously doing that re DC, he is breaking the link in preparation for the leaving...

Thanks Faire

thurso - let it all out, you know where I am, sending you love xxxx

Thank you so much everyone,

I am so sorry, I didn't think it would get to me so much. .....It has.....,

BB maybe that is what DH is doing, but, I don't think so, he is just doing what he normally does, but, a bit more, and I think perhaps he just doesn't want to know. He is a bit "live in the day" which I really envy most of the time, however, I think he could have made an exception for the next two weeks. I am thinking and thinking, and maybe he is finding this all too difficult, as well, I wish he would just talk to me!

Ma I think Dh is still taking AD's, but, I found an empty packet in the bin tonight, and I don't know if he still is!

Talk, why don't you DH!!!! (I know I should be saying this to DH!).

Ah well, I've had talked it out tonight and haven't done anything worse .

Thank you so much.
xx

I've had!!! I have. .

Thurso that's why it's so great that we're all here for each other. No one ever needs to feel alone, or foolish, or unimportant because we're really not. We're just good people trying to cope when life feels harsh. I am DREADING the day my kids leave home. I will feel just like you I'm sure. And hope there are still people like you in my virtual world to spill my guts to.

There is that gap between dcs leaving home and grandbabies arriving. It's a massive adjustment to family life but you've done your very best. You're given them roots and wings and you should feel proud of that. Now just take some time to really care for yourself. Little treats. One day at a time. And if it helps, keep spilling x

Popping in to say hi. So busy, and fell off bus at weekend. Not horrendously, but a couple of glasses of wine over the weekend. Didn't get drunk, didn't get hungover, but defo felt it the next day after nearly 2 weeks of sobriety! Been drinking again this week after work, just to relax, so getting into a danger zone again.

Hope I haven't missed too much. Must catch up.

two glasses again tonight and off to bed. Dh was supposed to be staying over at work to save petrol (he works in a residential unit for children with behavioural problems) but has had a rough shift and is coming home. one of the teens "kicked off" and hurled all her possessions out of her room, including TV and bed, then attacked him giving him a split lip and two good bashes on the head with a metal lamp before he managed to restrain her!!
I was hopping mad when he phoned and verbally slagged this kid off as in "What the fuck's her problem?" to which he quietly replied, "she opened up to one of the workers and told her how she had been abused by her step father. Now she regrets having revealed it, is feeling vulnerable and angry with herself. She has aoplogised and is now sitting in her empty room on the floor, crying her eyes out. I told her I would see her again tomorrow and she was stunned. Normally, people in her life don't come back".
DH and I have major marital problems, but he deserves a medal for the work he does.
I feel humbled.

Morning all,

Thank you for listening last night. I had a sleepless night, but, I have decided that ranting about things isn't going to do any good, I need to do something about it, or shut up!
Thanks Faire what you say is so true, about us all being here for each other.

Anyway, it's a really lovely Autumnal morning here and the birds are singing, I hope everyone had good sleeps, and hoping that Nemo stayed in bed Mouse.

Ma I am in awe of what your DH does. I have a little experience of working with troubled children, but not day after day, like your DH. I take my hat off to him.

Have good days all.
xxxx