The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sweeping Into Autumn With A One Way Ticket To Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Phew, just in time!

I'm mouse and I love a few to drink. I love all things cheese and I love MrMouse

Welcome to the Bus. We are a collection of drinkers, non-drinkers, and those who are somewhere in between but we all have the same thing in common, we can't just have 1 drink and then stop.

Come say hi, we don't bite .

Here are the other threads to date, if you have a spare hour or seven to kill.

OUR HISTORY

Morning all,

thank you for all your lovely words and support. I must admit I do feel a bit of a fraud getting your support. I keep thinking that I am fine one minute and it's all good then doing that 'internal scream' thing the next. Does anyone else do the internal scream?

ma, I can help you clean the bus, as long as we get more bacon sarnies at the end . I have to admit my cleaning style is a bit slapdash though.

clambering well done for not drinking. it sounds like you will be fine with your friend - I have said so many things (apparently) when drunk, I just don't find the right words even if the sentiment is sometimes ok.

Isinde - hope the contracts come through soon. I am in the opposite position and have too much work on at the moment. (sorry if that is insensitive). Being self employed is bloody hard work isn't it. In terms of folks ... can you meet them somewhere neutral. Not sure I could invite them into my home (but then I am an unforgiving one too).

saf hope this afternoon goes well.

JWN thank you - can you send me some fashion vibes, I have a meeting with a new client tmrw and need to look more slick than usual!

mouse thank you so much for your lovely words. to be honest I am not sure where I am at the moment. Had an old pal over on friday night and we shared a bottle of wine. Part of me really wanted to open another but tbh I could not be bothered. DD up at 2am screaming so quite glad I didn't. I drank a bit on saturday night but not so much I felt the effects on sunday, so all relatively balanced. I went for becks blue last night and worked my socks off. Thank you for your constant support lovely. I was just about to hop off the bus for a bit but you have made me see sense.

I have a stressful week ahead - meeting up in the midlands tmrw (I get v anxious when out of my town), major deadlines for 3-4 clients by the end of the week and will basically need to work every night. I think it might be good to be busy though and will mean I don't drink. Throw in another NHS mental health assessment and it should be quite a week.

I did go swimming this morning though, lovely to do something for me.

Keep going lovely babes x

clambering sorry - cross post. don't worry, I say daft things even when sober and often offend people because my brain only has a slight attachment to my mouth. [ grin]

msgee glad that you had a swim this morning - it is really important to keep doing things for yourself and to find a little quiet space in the middle of being busy. I know that being busy (or drinking) can keep the negative thoughts and feelings away, but neither are the long term solution and ultimately, when you are ready (and hopefully with the support of a talented counsellor) you will find an easier place.

strawb have pm'd in reply

isindie I hope some of the tasks on your white board are ones that generate leads, clients and income. Re - you parents - phew! that's a tough on. From the outside, it looks like big progress from where they were when the gorgeous dts were born, and steady progress from how they were earlier this year when they met them, but knowing even a tiny bit of the underlying hurt I guess that it wouldn't take much for you to blow up. I agree that meeting them somewhere neutral might be a good idea. Is there anywhere spacious and not too stressful (for the dts) that you could meet, somewhere like a big family friendly museum (preferrably with an outside space) where the dts could be active if they needed to, you could sit and eat / drink coffee as required, and there would also be somewhere that you could escape to if you thought it was all getting too much for you?

ma batten down the hatches - it looks as though it's going to be windy!

venus - food for thought there. but how do you start to work through things when you don't know where to start? I don't want to sound self important but I can't unravel - I have too much work on, DD needs me, I know it hurts DH when I hurt, etc.

saf - I haven't rang cruse yet but will do this week.

Another assessment is for referral for CBT for anxiety (although they said not to do when having counselling). They said that they closed my file when they referred me to other counselling, so to open a new file I need a new assessment. I've had about 6 conversations with different people all trying desperately to get me to go somewhere else for help. Will ring cruse as soon as neighbours stop their chainsaw shenanigans...

Morning all, MsGee, I understand what you mean by internal screaming, I think that's the only screaming I ever really do!
Isindie, just like SAF the one part of your post that stuck with me is your parents wanting to visit DPs twins

Morning.

Nemo is poorly (stinking cold, which blocks his nose around his feeding tube, temp, upset tummy and his reflux is back big time) so I've been up all night with him, gave up at 6am so it feels like 2.30pm!

DH was awake in the next room, I told him to sleep in Nemo's bed so he could rest. Nope, he could hear him so he's had no sleep.

DD has been blown to school! And I'm still in my PJs. Can't face the shower yet. Brrrrrrrr.

Clambering

Well done for talking to your DH about what happened, that couldn't have been easy for you. I'm glad he saw your side of things and hugged you! I think that your friend had obviously been holding onto that for a while, must have been hard for her to say anything to you as well. That tells me that you've got a good friend there!

Don't beat yourself up sweets, today's a whole new day.

How are we all?

venus it's certainly blowy here. came over the Kincardine bridge today and that was bumpy enough, heaven knows what the Forth bridge must be like today!
I really think that today, I will not be drinking

Will join you Ma, today I will not be drinking either

Mouse, take my blanket, will try and keep the noise down so you can sleep

saf that makes perfect sense and not remotely offensive ... why don't the nhs tell me that then, why do I keep being referred to different places. I really don't understand. It feels like I keep being told to talk to someone, then told its too early to talk to someone. grrr.

Morning All

Well it's a little windy here this morning . But I managed to drag my butt out of bed, and do the first morning of couch to 5k. Am totally exhuasted though, so need to dose up on caffeine.

msGEe really have nothing to add to the very wise words - but I am thinking about you.

mouse poor wee nemo, hope he recovers quickly. DS was away at a Cub camp all weekend, and was totally exhausted when he came home, the poor wee soul was so tired this morning, he just kept crying, so (bad mother alert) - I have sent him round to his grandad's to sleep for amother couple of hours, and then go to school. Am trying to way up the positive learning he did at camp, with what he is missing this morning, or would have failed to take in due to tiredness.

indie Am seriously horrified at your parents, I can't believe that they still do not see the DT's as part of your family - and therefore part of theirs!! [anger]. Feel very frustrated on your behalf. There is an impotent rage about the injustice of their thoughts and thoughtless actions!

I have had a really lovely restful weekend, and tried not to dwell on coming back to work, where I just feel so undervalued and demotivated. Need to not get stuck in this mindset though - it then becomes a self fufilling perpetuated cycle!

Waves to all the other babes
Have a good day all
Today I will not be drinking
Love
Bafana
x

wow it's getting really wild out there!
am a tad nervous about driving home later in very small car over high bridge and tree lined country road

Don't let it drive you to drink!

When you get home, snuggle up indoors with a big bowl of warming soup.

Good idea on the soup front, think I shall make a big pot this evening!
The weather has calmed down a bit here, but don't think that I am going to venture far this evening.

MsGee - have PMd you a link about bereavement. I hope you don't mind, I stole it from another MN thread xx

it's a big step Saf, but having a drink won't make you feel any better. He'll be absolutely fine and you want to be bright-eyed and sober to enjoy his first day.
My DD leaves home soon to to and live in Spain - gulp. Am trying to give myself the same advice!

Saf just wallow. It's OK to feel all kinds of emotions. It's OK to feel sad. It's OK to feel surprised by it.

Put the lkettle on, have a mug of tea and a biscuit.

Then dry your tears and get ready to meet him from school.

Then make that your daily habit: drop ds, cup of tea and biscuit, collect ds.

Hi Babes
Just popping in to say hello. I'm about to go for a very windy run! Bring it on I'm still not drinking and I feel very happy not to be. Keep on keeping on, life is what is is for each of us, but better for all of us sober, clear headed and real. x