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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Shy man ( I think)

169 replies

ithastobedone · 15/08/2011 22:32

Sorry to be a name changer. Not for any other reason than, I feel a bit of a twerp TBH.

Simple question really.

How best to let a bloke know that you fancy him? I have known him as a friend for years- it's come as a bit of a surprise to me even. When we are together socially we talk a lot and get along really well and he'll very often hug me.

I'm so out of the dating loop but we're both free; I think he likes me but he is very shy and I don't want to freak him out. What would you say to let him know?

Is it really daft to send him an email because I couldn't possibly bring myself to phone him.

He lives far enough away that I could avoid him if I make a complete arse of myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 00:26

I can't look at this screen for a moment longer, I'll have to go to bed, it's driving me mad. The watched pot and all that...

I'll be back again tomorrow with any updates.

Good night all x

OP posts:
LeBOF · 20/08/2011 00:29

Goodnight, and good luck!

garlicbutter · 20/08/2011 00:44

It's ages 'till our next meet up and I'll be over any possible embarrassment by then.

I love ^^ this :)

You've already covered the possible-awkward-future-face-to-face scenario, and made it okay in advance. You're a sweetheart. If he manages to make a hash out of this, he's no loss.

Hope he doesn't hash it, though!

Sandalwood · 20/08/2011 00:44

He's perhaps waiting to see if you message him in the morning that you were pissed tonight and it was all a big mistake.
Or, is there a chance he could think someone else posted as you for a laugh? And he doesn't want to look an idiot.

Anyway I guess you can't hurry him if you've told him you've wanted to say something for 10 years.

Warlock · 20/08/2011 01:03

lay your cards on the table. If he is so shy then he may well appreciate the forthright approach. Ring him and arrange to meet, you cant do this on FB or elsewhere. You have to be together to initiate the hand holding and maybe more !!!!

TDada · 20/08/2011 08:10

Brilliant

HedleyLamarr · 20/08/2011 09:19

OP you sound brilliant, he's a very lucky man. Fingers crossed for you.

Snapespeare · 20/08/2011 09:21

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh!

OP? anything?!

PercyPigPie · 20/08/2011 09:29

Oooh oooh oooh, so exciting. Didn't see last night. Read to the bottom of the page and am so disappointed to see there was no conclusion last night.

I think maybe he jumped straight in the car to drive 250 miles (or was it 150 miles OP said?) and they are now having a lazy breakfast together [hopeful emoticon].

PercyPigPie · 20/08/2011 09:29

What I meant above, was that I did see the thread last night, but I didn't realise you were so brave last night OP

rarebreed · 20/08/2011 13:38

bump Grin

BertieBotts · 20/08/2011 13:44

Ooh - any news?

(I get why the phoning thing would be weird BTW. If you don't normally talk on the phone, he'd probably be a bit Confused about why you were phoning rather than FBing, and you'd be hyper-aware of that and it would probably make you more nervous)

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 15:28

Just checking back for those of you I know, are waiting for news....

Nothing; nada; zero; zilch; nowt.

Beginning to feel a bit indignant now! There's nothing wrong with me physically or mentally (as far as I'm aware) I thought he might be pleased. How wrong can you be?

I did the wrong thing didn't I? Is there any way I can rescue this situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 15:50

Should I send another message to apologise for making a twat of myself and possibly embarrassing him, or just leave it be?

OP posts:
coffeeinbed · 20/08/2011 15:52

Apologise for what?
Nothing to apologise for.
Let it be.

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 16:02
OP posts:
coffeeinbed · 20/08/2011 16:08

No!
No more messages and certaily no apologies.
It's actually rude of him not to reply.
He could have written something along the lines " You're lovely, but ... ... ... it's me ... ..."
Anything really.

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 16:15

Very true coffee.

I did mention in my message he didn't have to do anything with the information (ie; act on it) however, an acknowledgement would have been polite - you're right.

How can a friend be like that?

He was on to me at the first available opportunity after last weekend, to tell me what a brill night we'd had!

Is there any way he might not have received my message? I sent somthing very long-winded to my cousin the other day and she absolutely didn't see it. I had to send it again.

Clutching at straws I know ;(

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 20/08/2011 16:16

Has he definitely been on FB since? He could just be busy this weekend.

Patience.

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 16:19

Yes Sarah, he was on last night for sure. That's why I decided to go for it!

Men, particularly single men. do stuff on a Sat though don't they?

It would be very out of character for him to just blank me altogether. But, he's obviously not champing at the bit to reply!

OP posts:
TDada · 20/08/2011 16:28

smiling at "Men, particularly single men. do stuff on a Sat though don't they?"....like "bats come out at night" or "maggots eat dead rats after 1 week of festering"...

Justr chill out and start focussing on pruning yourself for the next lucky man...Man number 1 will come rushing as soon as you move on...it is the way of the world...keep him as a friend...just be casual and confident...

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 16:34

Mmmm. Men are like busses....

OP posts:
TDada · 20/08/2011 16:43

This one is in danger of failing his first test.....

TDada · 20/08/2011 16:43

Honestly...stay cool, act normal, be confident and keep your options open

adamschic · 20/08/2011 16:49

Just had a read. Cannot believe this guy hasn't replied to you. There is still time yet, he might be busy and not read it. If he doesn't reply then you gave him more credit than he is due and he's not such a sweeheart afterall.

Really hope he gets back to you soon.

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