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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Shy man ( I think)

169 replies

ithastobedone · 15/08/2011 22:32

Sorry to be a name changer. Not for any other reason than, I feel a bit of a twerp TBH.

Simple question really.

How best to let a bloke know that you fancy him? I have known him as a friend for years- it's come as a bit of a surprise to me even. When we are together socially we talk a lot and get along really well and he'll very often hug me.

I'm so out of the dating loop but we're both free; I think he likes me but he is very shy and I don't want to freak him out. What would you say to let him know?

Is it really daft to send him an email because I couldn't possibly bring myself to phone him.

He lives far enough away that I could avoid him if I make a complete arse of myself.

OP posts:
Sandalwood · 19/08/2011 23:03

Have a fb chat if that's how you usually communicate.
Tell him you wish you could see more of him, there's not another meet up for ages, does he fancy doing something together in the meantime?

...then jump him.

Original poster
ithastobedone · 19/08/2011 23:11

Way to go Sandalwood. That's more my style.

I'm just going to do it, I really am! What's the worst that can happen?

OP posts:
LeBOF · 19/08/2011 23:18
Original poster
ithastobedone · 19/08/2011 23:21

Sorry, sorry LeBOF. Fine advice from you too x

OP posts:
Tobermory · 19/08/2011 23:23

Any news to report 'ithastobedone', Have you had you fb 'chat' yet?

Impatient? Moi?

Nooooo!

LeBOF · 19/08/2011 23:24
Grin
Original poster
ithastobedone · 19/08/2011 23:38

I have done it!

He's online - I have sent him a message. It's straight to the point but light hearted.

I hope he isn't horrified.

My heart is beating nineteen to the dozen.

OP posts:
Original poster
ithastobedone · 19/08/2011 23:40

I feel sick!

How long does it take to read and reply to a message?

OP posts:
Tobermory · 19/08/2011 23:41

Oooooo, well done you!

What was the message?

Tobermory · 19/08/2011 23:42

I guess if the content comes as a surprise then his reply will take longer than normal.

garlicbutter · 19/08/2011 23:42

God, I hope something's happened. Or, since God hasn't posted in ages, an update from OP would be nice Wink

This: I do want to but It'd be odd for me to phone him is weird. How can you want somebody else's body parts inside yours, but not want to communicate via a voice encoder?

The human race is very odd. I'm phoning home

Anyway, ithastobedone, Shy Man means one of two things:
1] He's not interested that way;
2] He's waiting for you to make the first move (or, indeed, somebody to make the first move)

The only way to find out if it's [1] is to resolve [2]. Personally, now I'm old and jaded, I'd go to Pizza Express with my favourite girlfriends instead. But, if I try really hard, I can remember ... so ring him, already Grin

Make sure you say "Not really sure if I should ask you, but would you like to meet up for A Date?"

FFS. Good luck! :)

garlicbutter · 19/08/2011 23:43

Ohhhh, crossposted!

Well done, you Grin

Original poster
ithastobedone · 19/08/2011 23:51

I just couldn't bear the thought of that awkwardness on the phone. Put him in front of me and I'll cheerfully talk to him all night.

I hadn't even got to thinking about his body parts yet, just about getting my message across to begin with.

I sent the message 16 minutes ago. Maybe he went to bed or maybe he's mortified. OMG what have I done?

OP posts:
LeBOF · 19/08/2011 23:52

We need to know what the message was, I think...

Original poster
ithastobedone · 19/08/2011 23:58

Oh the message yes. Well something along the lines of,

I have liked/fancied/wondered about/toyed with the idea of telling you I like you....for approx the past 10 years...(since I saw you blah, blah, blah

Last Fri night reaffirmed it. I don't act in the moment! You do not have to do anything with this information - ignore it if you like but nothing ventured, nothing gained. It's ages 'till our next meet up and I'll be over any possible embarrassment by then.

That sort of thing

OP posts:
Sandalwood · 19/08/2011 23:59

Oh I really hope he's up for it.
It's terrific when shy people get together.

LeBOF · 20/08/2011 00:01

Oh, that's rather romantic- I'm sure he'll reply tomorrow when it sinks in!

Monty27 · 20/08/2011 00:03

:)

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 00:04

It's been 26 minutes. He's mortified isn't he?

OP posts:
Monty27 · 20/08/2011 00:05

Xpost......

O good luck op I hope he gets back with a positive response

Monty27 · 20/08/2011 00:05

Nooooooo, he's on the phone, in the loo, tidying up....

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 00:11

Thanks Monty I have cider!

You're all so very kind.

It would be v rude of him to do nothing don't you think? Cruel even. Not sure what I'd do in the circs...Pretend to have a bf perhaps.

He can't just ignore it. I'm going with the idea he's:

a) Gone to bed before realising my message
b) Gone to bed to mull it over
c) Composing a lenghty and loving response!

OP posts:
LeBOF · 20/08/2011 00:11

Had you been chatting much before you loveplopped?

Original poster
ithastobedone · 20/08/2011 00:16

No, not chatting tonight. In fact I just noticed someone has asked him a question quite some time ago and he hasn't responded.

That'll be because he's too busy writing something lovely to me!

OP posts:
Monty27 · 20/08/2011 00:19

Ithas - delete B

:)

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