My partner doesn't read - it's irritating me, am I being unreasonable

[MyPeaceLily]

I've been with my new partner for nearly a year, we don't live together but are talking about it. However, as a really minor niggle, my partner doesn't read and it annoys me.

I'm not some massive bibliophile, but reading is a part of my life, I've always got a book on the go. However, DP, is a clever man (he's a doctor), but in the time I've known him has got through half a book on a business/management type theme.

Am I being unreasonable here, or is this a valid niggle?

Indeed seachange. There is only room for my sprawling collection, although recently DH has started to avidly collect cardboard - much less containable. He says it is for the fire but we would have to be running a council incinerator to burn all this stuff..............

Surely it's more than someone not reading or liking books, per se?
IMO as a reader, books open up your mind, give you something to think ( and talk) about, raise questions about Why We Are Here, and all kinds of stuff- well, the thought provoking ones I read do!

If someone is a non-reader, it suggests they have no imagination and no curiosity about the world, other people and how other people's minds "tick".

Reading is an insight into how people behave and interact.

I think what the OP is struggling with is that for her, reading is an expression of her personality for all the above reasons. If her DP is not a reader, it hints at possible deep incompatability.

I think that unless you are a reader- and a reader of the more serious thought provoking books rather than non fiction or chick-lit, then it's hard to understand this point.

I wish the OP would come back as there is lots of food for thought here.

I agree with you, amelia.

I don't agree with that at all. I'm a reader, English lit degree all that jazz. DH isn't a reader but he has as much, if not more curiosity about the world than I do and plenty f imagination. I tend to go around in my own little dreamworld, not too bothered what other people think or do. He is the polar opposite.

You cannot define a person's character by whether they read or not.

"You cannot define a person's character by whether they read or not."

I think you can to an extent.

Parts of their character, anyway.

We are the same GML - I read much more than DP, but would say he's more imaginative and curious and much more empathic than I am. I go around in my own little 'bubble' as well - and in fact my liking for 'retreating' into books is probably part of that!

It's a neat little theory about all these character traits linked to whether someone likes reading or not. Unfortunately real people are somewhat more complicated than that!

My dh has never finished a book in the 10 years we have been together. I read as much as I can. We get on fine an are both interested in politics art theatre etc. He is far more creative than me. He is a teacher and writes songs plays and stories for the children.

The claims for reading on here are ridiculous. I know many awful close minded people who are avid readers.

I had an ex boyfriend who saw himself as a great intellectual reader. He sneered at everyones opinions of all books. I definitely was incompatible with him.

Exactly Epiphany. It's a nice theory but one that has very little basis in fact. It's basically good old fashioned stereotyping.

The OP has tried to develop an interest in a hobby of her BF's -- she has honoured his interest in sailing by trying it a few times and likes it. They have other things in common like films and shared philosophy/agnosticism (if such exists). Maybe she would like to see an effort to reciprocate on his part? So far, she has adapted to his busy professional schedule and has tried the things he likes. While there is little he can do about the time demands of his work, he has enough time to fit in sailing and a holiday, yet he doesn't seem to be interested in trying the thing that she loves and honouring that aspect of her, in the free time that he has. She seems to be doing a lot of the running when it comes to adaptation to each other in the relationship.