I rarely post or read relationships these days because I find it astonishing how much some people put up with in thier love lives. Having said that, my own dsis has just left a very decent dh because she was bored and that saddens me, especially for their dd, who is still struggling with it.
I have a beautiful, intelligent, hard working cousin who has lived with a lazy, frequently out of work freeloader for over twenty years. Many times I have wanted to advise her to leave, after listening to her moan and fret about him. I never did. I know she is only going to go when she has had enough. What worried me was how much bad stuff she was filtering out, when talking about their issues. Last month it came to light, drugs, debt, theft, sackings for misconduct, everything. And still, although she is leaving, she talks of how he is a good man, didn't set out to hurt her and is deeply troubled by his fathers death when he was a boy. Still, she is looking for why. Why is she wasting energy on trying to work that out? I think it's a famale thing too, this need to understand , and yet the energy and focus would be so much better spent on getting angry then getting the hell out of there, living a great life. I can bet my life he won't be spending his days seeking counselling or help to become a better man.
It's both the strength and the curse for women I think, this desire to understand and accept.