The Brave Babes Battle Bus - We're All Going On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babe's Bus. This is a bus full of drinkers old and new, sober and not, and those who are somewhere in between.

We are all at different levels of sober so you can bet that one of us has walked in your shoes.

If you want advice and support then you're in the right place.

Come take a seat or just lurk, we're happy to have you along for the ride.

And here is a link to the last thread so you can catch up on the journey so far HERE

oh yes thurso - be grateful its only a 21st! - considering my vast experience at getting married i cannot believe the angst and expense so far and we still have 12 months to go!

Morning all. What a beautiful one it is again

How is everyone?

Deeli how did Day 1 go? Venus I hope you got through your party and enjoyed yourself. Is your weekend panning out ok thurso?

JWN did you buy 'the dress'. How exciting!! Where is everyone? Am I the only saddo not out there enjoying the sunshine?

Day 6 today I will not be drinking.

Hi everyone! Thanks for the welcomes!
Last night was ok. No alcohol passed my lips. There were one or two moments but I changed rooms/ went into the garden & it passed.
Weird dreams & warmer than normal but up early & happy - remember everything from last night!

I'm sure I will have my moments! To the garden with DD & glass of sparkling water.

Day 2 today I will not be drinking.

Oooh well done Deeli. Day 1, very important day, under your belt already. Bet you felt great about that when you woke up this morning. Now you just need to do the same again today and you will have that lovely feeling to wake up to tomorrow

Just wondering whether, since jesus started this thread a year ago, supermarkets have noticed their stocks of lime and soda water decreasing more rapidly than before .

I bet Tesco had a shock when all the wine disappeared off my 'favourites' list

helllllooooo!!!!! (thats an echo! )

faire - i have wondered that too! i wonder what the marketing bods would make of this thread? i would love to see them trying to figure out why all that wine they had ordered is still on the shelves!

yes, we have bought 'the dress'!, the 'save the day' cards are sent, the venue is booked as is the register office and OMG!!! my baby is getting married!! how the buggery bollocks did that happen? one day, there i was, waiting at the infants gate ready to carry home a toilet roll painted masterpiece, the next im looking at wedding venues! and do you know what? i dont look a day older (deluded old woman emoticon! )

Visitors all gone, quiet and peace reigns again in the venus household [feet up]

fairenuff I wonder what the recycling bin people think has happened. They used to have the most enormous muscles from lifting my box of empties every week. Now they're looking rather thin and weedy, and their arms muscles have wasted away .

You didn't do what I used to do then venus - slip a few into the neighbours boxes when their backs were turned . Actually that reminds me, I sometimes used to use bottle banks but not the same one for all bottles as there would be too much clanking. Two bottles here, two bottles there . . .

hi all
going down to Liverpool tomorrow and then to Spain for a couple of nights to meet DDs "host family" - she will be au pairing for them come September!
Must be on best behaviour.
family party this weekend was good but my Lord the photographs!! I am like a fecking house end and it is pretty much all down to drink!
I HAVE to find a way to stop doing this.....
Hope you are all ok
be back next week
ma

hello- back from hols.

need to sort myself out big time.! been drinking daily (4-5 pints) slowly over 6-7hours, never been pissed as such bit weight coming on again. and feeling again like this is ok and what i do.. no good x

Hi it's me again, Billy No-mates. Where is everyone? I've got a sneaky suspicion someone has put a hot tub in trailer and that's where I'll find the rest of you .

Welcome back Rusmum are you all suntanned and relaxed after your holiday or do you need another one now to get over it. Don't you know you're supposed to gain llbs on your hols. I know I will when I fly out a week tomorrow WAY HOO CAN'T WAIT !!

Ma have you got a plan of action for meeting the host family? If nothing else, at least you can have a siesta after lunch . Hope it goes well.

Day 7 for me. Today I will not be drinking.

I'm here too fairenuff just sitting around waiting to eavesdrop on the interesting conversations of the rest of the babes

Ah, you might be able to answer a question for me venus if it's not too deep for a Monday morning.

Why do we start counting from Day 1 again if we have a drink? I can understand if you want to stop completely (although it seems a shame if it's just a blip in, say, 3 months, or even 3 years!). Why go back to Day 1? Why not say "3 years sober except for one occasion" for example? Just a-wonderin'

Hmm, not sure I'm the right person to ask, since I wasn't much of a day-counter (for me it felt like a bigger pressure). I know that for many people who are totally abstinent the 'anniversary' of their last drink / first day sober is really important. I also think that on here, we use it as a way of supporting someone who has had a load to drink and is feeling crap - so rather than concentrating on how they are so hungover and shamed that they couldn't face a drink that day anyway, we help them to focus on the fact that they've completed a day without drinking. Also a a sort of 'pick yourself up and dust yourself down' no nonsense approach.

I'd hate to see it as a punishment, like snakes and ladders where you slide all the way back down because you've had one drink, and there are several posters on here who do post that they've had one drink in 3 weeks (or whatever). This thread has no particular philosophy (abstinence or otherwise), so it is really what works for each of us individually. I think what we do pick up on, however subtly, is where a poster has cut down significantly, and then appears to be drinking more frequently again, or drinking significantly more.

From my experience of several years, that long slow (or not so slow) slide back from "I've had a week without a drink, so drinking one evening is OK" rather quickly moves to drinking every 2nd night, and quickly again to drinking almost every day. If every day is day 1......

There is also something rather leveling about taking things a day at a time. There is an AA (I think) saying that the person who has been sober the longest today, is the person who got up earliest. So if I've been sober for 10 days or 100 days, I'm not any more sober than you are who has been sober 7 days or 17 days. OK I've done that sober day more times than you have, but I'm no better or no worse than you because of it.

That's all a bit jumbled, but hey, it's Monday morning after all

And some more Monday thoughts on the day 1 topic....

For me, it is about honesty with myself. So my warped 'drinking mind' could say only 3 days drink in 3 months, ignoring / excusing / allowing the fact that those days were the day before yesterday, yesterday and today and I am in fact on a major bender. Or that 5 days without alcohol every week means that I might binge drink all weekend.

On here it's also a bit of short-hand. It can be easier to type "day 1 for me - again" than to to type that I let myself down, I let my family down and I got shit faced for the 4th time this week. And it also has something of an intention about it, I think. "Day 1" is like saying that I want to not drink, and by writing it down I'm making it real, and I'm subtly asking for support. Looking at a couple of past posts, it seems that on a day when someone doesn't want to tackle their drinking, then they don't post in the same way.

Bottom line - whatever works for each of us, makes it OK. Whatever physical, psychological approaches / mantras / routines help in a tough moment.

Yes, I see what you mean. If you can keep counting the days even if you have a drink, you are fooling yourself into thinking the odd day doesn't matter. Then 'the odd day' becomes more frequent.

I have drunk on 7 days out of the last 37. So although I'm on Day 7 now I feel like I've done 30 drink free days. Which I have . And that's a month .

I'm taking what MIFLAW would say is the hardest route. I am deciding to drink or not drink each day. I have certain occasions where I will have a drink because I plan to, the next one being a big family event next Saturday. I will have some strategies for making sure I do not overdo it on those occasions. So far, so good. But I am well aware that it is very early days and I may find that this does not work for me as a permanent option.

I am working my way through all the old threads, starting with JWN's first post, so it is at the front of my mind at the moment. (Being off work means I have the time to do this which is great).

Thanks for your thoughts x

Morning Babes and Mif

wah, I want to go on holiday !

our summer has been rather dictated by the comings and goings of the Dc, I quite long for the days when all four of us decamped with buckets and spades.

To confess, I really embarrassed myself yesterday morning, Dh and I went out for breakfast, and a man with two little boys came by, they were all chatting, and saying little boyish things, and when Dh looked at me, I had tears trickling down, under my sunglasses ! Is there no hope for me?

How was your party Venus? Was it a "dress up" do?, what did you wear? i hope you had a good evening last night, too. I may have said before, a big event like that, often used to have me reaching for an excess of wine, the day after, rather than on the occasion. The feeling that, aah, I survived that, and didn't drink, so now I can .

thornrose Any luck with sorting out an earlier appointment for DD?

Faire I counted days in the beginning, but having had a few slip ups, I started to feel like I was counting down until the next one, A bit mad hatter, I know, but that's what I felt like. Now, although I know when I last had a drink of an evening, I just don't drink today, each day, if that makes sense.

And to follow on from Venus, there have been occasions when I have decided that I was going to drink that night in a quite cold blooded way, and haven't written on here, until I 'fessed up on here the next day, to make me feel better, and other times, you will see when I haven't decided but feel I really want to..... but don't want to, and then I've come on here , and ended up with a fizzy water. Yay, Babes!

Venus I wish I could write as well as you!
My posts sound very disjointed. Sorry folks!

Hi thurso, had lovely, lovely evening, and was fortunately completely exhausted by yesterday, so tempted only by a nice cup of tea and some chocolate. Wore this dress which is very pretty and easy to wear. If you scroll over the picture it shows you the shell detail on the neckline.

morning!! aww thurso, have a (((((((((hug))))))))))) i do understand how you feel about the boys going away, i vear between enjoying the peace and then desperate longing for the whirlwind that is dd to burst through the front door!

i agree wholeheartedly with venus about the whys and wherefores of counting the days - for me it very important that i be totally honest with my counting, each day down spurs me on for the next and i really dont want to break that count, i cant lie to myself or im dead, i see it as simple as that!

how anyone else 'counts' is totally down to what works for them and i agree, it should never be seen as failure to slip, just pick yourself up and start again!

Oh Venus

That is a beautiful dress, just my cup of tea!
I love East, there is one in Brighton, right next door to a Hobbs!

Thanks for the hug JWN,

I was making big plans for DC2's 21st, but I spoke to him yesterday, and GF's dad is very seriously ill, and Dc is staying with her, at her family home, so now I don't even know if I will see him on his Birthday.

I am so proud of him for being so caring, and supportive, but torn because it is an awful lot of grief to carry on his young shoulders. Life and death happens, I know, but I didn't want him to come up against it all quite so soon.

Forgive me for being so selfish in thinking this, I know it is so much worse for Gf, and many of you, who have, or may be, going through the same thing.

Gah....worry, worry.....

Dc1's 21st.