The Brave Babes Battle Bus - We're All Going On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babe's Bus. This is a bus full of drinkers old and new, sober and not, and those who are somewhere in between.

We are all at different levels of sober so you can bet that one of us has walked in your shoes.

If you want advice and support then you're in the right place.

Come take a seat or just lurk, we're happy to have you along for the ride.

And here is a link to the last thread so you can catch up on the journey so far HERE

I wonder if someone could provide a link to the quiz/questions about the amount people drink? I have looked but cant find the questions.

Lazydaisy

Not sure if this is the one you're thinking of and can't find the link anyway so have copy/pasted it

"Answer these questions Yes or No as honestly and truthfully as possible.

1.Do I lose time from work due to my drinking?

2.Is drinking making my home life unhappy?

3.Do I drink because I am shy with other people?

4.Is drinking affecting my reputation?

5.Do I ever feel remorse after drinking?

6.Have gotten into financial difficulties as a result of my drinking?

7.Do I turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?

8.Does my drinking make me careless about my family's welfare?

9.Has my ambition decreased since drinking?

10.Do I crave a drink at a definite time daily?

11.Do I want a drink the next morning?

12.Does drinking cause me to have difficulty in sleeping?

13.Has my efficiency decreased since drinking?

14.Is drinking jeopardizing my job or business?

15.Do I drink to escape from worries or troubles?

16.Do I drink alone?

17.Have I every had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?

18.Has a physician ever treated me for drinking?

19.Do I drink to build up self-confidence?

20.Have I ever been in a hospital or institution for my drinking?

If you answered YES to any ONE of these questions, there is a definite warning that YOU MAY BE AN ALCOHOLIC.

If you answered YES to any TWO of the question, the chances are YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC.

If you answered YES to any THREE OR MORE, YOU ARE DEFINITELY AN ALCOHOLIC.

(The test Questions are used by John Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, Maryland, in deciding whether or not a patient is an alcoholic)"

HTH

I am off to battle in the 'end of summer' sales with DD. Not sure which of us will come of worse Saf.

'End of summer' what a depressing thought

Hello all,

Venus. Here is a massive hug and kiss for you , thank you so much for your message. You are so spot on, that I think we must have been bestest friends for about 20 years without realising!!!

Yes this weekend, is just the two of us, and never one to keep my mouth shut, or emotions in check, I started off this morning with Dh, with a very long discussion about the state of our marriage, and what we were expecting, or hoping for, etc, etc. I almost said exactly the words you wrote (well, apart from the more flattering ones, bless you).

We walked for about 5 miles, and Dh said that he is feeling very funny about the Dc leaving as well, and doesn't know what to do, to make it better for me. Work in progress, as ever!!! Thanks again.

And next thing....!! Have a wonderful and fab party tonight. I wish you sparkles and love and laughter, all the better for enjoying them sober, but not seriously, or plainly, quietly, sombrely or drably!! (thesaurus!).

Go girl xxxx

Welcome Deeli, how are you?
Well done Saf day 7, and Faire day 5, Yippee!

I hope everyone is having a good day, I hope the sun is shining on you Mouse wherever you are .

JWN just arranging DC1's 21st stuff, please tell me a wedding isn't more expensive

xxxxxxxx

Thanks Fairenuff!
It's this evening I'm not looking forward to but I'm trying to change habits/do things differently. I'm not going to drink today (which mightn't be the best plan but if I limit myself to just one glass of wine it won't stop there)!
Today is the day I (try to) take back control.
Good luck to everyone & well done for every day you've achieved. :)

Thanks again to everyone, I can hardly bear to read back my posts from the other night. It's like when you embarass yourself at a family party and cringe the next day
I hate using my dd's problems as my reason for drinking, it stinks! It's a bit too "convenient" and only gets rolled out when I'm drunk.
That list of dd's issues are what she has to live with, day in and day out She does this without self-pity, kicking and screaming, but never a "poor me" attitude.
thurso I will call CAMHS on Monday and see what is happening with our appointment. I certainly got lots of support on here that "dark" night!
*noteven" it certainly isn't working you're right.
Faire thanks for your kind words.

deeli I can guarantee that if you get one day under your belt it will be so helpful. It is the best plan and from experience once you have that first glass you won't stop there, as you say.
You'll then have to face it all again tomorrow.

thornrose "Thanks again to everyone, I can hardly bear to read back my posts from the other night. It's like when you embarass yourself at a family party and cringe the next day". The difference here is that we all understand, we've all been in your shoes (in one way or another), and we may be in them again, and need exactly the same kind of support. We are also the kind of family who are here to care and to help, but not to enable you or to tut and talk about you behind your back. Oh, and from us, no embarassing photos on facebook

There have been too many tomorrows for me Thornrose.
I'm scared. I have a very supportive friend (& others who I am sure know I have a problem) but dh drinks too much too. 'I drink too much too often & need to do something about it' was greeted with an 'oh' & the presentation of a glass of wine!
Off to buy lime & soda - worth a try!!

Back from the shops, phew

We both got outfits for a family 'do' at the weekend. (I'm a few pounds lighter so that's nice). Tomorrow we're going back for shoes, jewellery & matching nail polish! Can't face it all at once

How are you doing Deeli? It's tough for you if your DH drinks a lot but you can't really do anything for him. Just look after yourself for now. Do you have particular times which are triggers for you? Have you tried AA before?

thornrose can I just echo venus comments. No one here has to be embarrassed. We know that on this bus we won't judge or be judged. That's what makes this such a safe place to have an honest rant

Thanks Fairenuff for the question, are they really used to diagnose alcholics? because I scored 10! I am worried about drinking, but thinking I am an alcholic feels awful.

I don't know enough about it Lazy to know what they use to diagnose. I think it's up to you to decide what to call yourself. You don't have to be 'an alcoholic' to have a drinking problem. FWIW I only score about 5 but I know I have a problem drinking (or rather not drinking).

I used to drink wine every Friday after work and Saturdays/Sundays from about lunchtime onwards. I would have to finish all the wine by Sunday eve so that it was gone by Monday. Sometimes it was tough getting into work Monday morning and once or twice I just couldn't make it. Phoned in with 'stomach bug'

Sometimes needed a little 'pick me up' on a Monday evening. And sometimes started my 'weekend celebrations' on a Thursday. Before long I was lucky if I wasn't drinking 2 days out of every 7. I would start to crave the first drink on the way home from work every day.

I would always finish the bottle because I didn't want any left over the next day because I definately wasn't going to drink the next day. Then I would think, OK, I won't drink for a whole week. What 'normal' drinker would even say that to themselves!! But I couldn't do it anyway.

Now I take one day at a time. I do drink occasionally still on very special, planned days. Not just ones with a 'y' in them . For me, that works. for now.

Hope some of this helps. Keep posting, let us know how you are.

Well I feel sick and the room is spinning... because I just got back from the funfair with DD
Is it just me or do you lose your tolerance for funfair rides with age? It was great fun though and what a beautiful sunny day.

Mine got out of hand through work pressure (own business) plus a DD who didn't sleep for the first three months. By then the habit was well & truly set.
The routine went cook dinner with a glass of wine in my hand & by my bedtime the bottle would be empty (of late it wasn't just one empty bottle).
I pulled myself out of bed a day ago & felt useless until after lunch time; that's when I knew I had to stop.
Thought about AA but I want to see if I can start off on my own.
Lime & soda is lovely btw!!
Just kicking myself I only bought 1 bottle of soda (in case I didn't like it) - they were on offer. I'd wouldn't of hesitate to buy wine that potentially could taste awful if that was on offer!!! :o

Sparkling water, tonic water, heck even just plain old tap with lots of ice will do for now. And finding things to keep you busy, even if it's just cleaning. If you find yourself struggling try to take it slow, just minute by minute, and the craving will pass. Sugar can help. It's quiet here tonight. May be a few more people around later.

Hope the room's stopped spinning thornrose

Have a gold star from me What a result.

I planned to allow myself to drink tonight by sharing a bottle with my mum. All of a sudden it was 9.45 and felt a bit to late to bother.
I still really crave a drink but I have pyjamas on now and won't go out for any.

try cleaning your teeth too thornrose

Sorry that sounded a bit rude

I meant for the taste. Doesn't go with wine.

He he, faire wondered how you could smell my breathe over t'internet.

Well I hope all you sensible people are tucked up and zzzzzzzzing. I'm a bit more of an owl but will be off to bed soon too.

Hoping to maybe hear a little Mousie squeak tomorrow or the next day.

Night all x

evening! wow!! loads to read since last night!

venus - i hope you are having a lovley party!

welcome deeli! nice to meet you!

and as for you thornrose! well!! you great big dafty! this is one place where any one of us can come and be an absolute tit and still be understood and not judged! - i had a 'tit' moment myself last night, gawd, i was me, me, me and you lot were still kind!

fwiw, im not sure about that list, i would use it as a bit of a guide rather than a way to 'diagnose' - my rule of thumb now is that if a person is worried about the amount they drink then it is a problem for them iyswim?, it dosent matter if you a sinking a bottle of vodka a day or feel you are having an extra glass of sherry on a sunday, if you are worried about it then its a problem and you need to deal with it. as to a 'plan b', i darent get that far, plan a has to be the only plan for me or i know i would soon be on to plan c and d and so forth until i passed out - btw, i really becks blue too, i think its partly that beer was never really 'my' drink so it tastes quite nice to me, a friend bought me non alcholic wine when we went to hers for dinner, i tried it to be polite but honestly, it was absolutly revolting and actually really pissed me off - i dont want pretend wine, i want real wine and if i cant have the real stuff i will stick to other drinks.