Had meeting with DV woman today.

[Lemmingswife]

Met up with her at my HV's house.
Session was tough & I had to go through everything that went on at home.
DV officer was shocked & terms it as serious emotional abuse.
Told me a little about my rights regarding the house & has advised me to make photocopies of all personal stuff, like childrens birth certificates, mortgage details, marraige certificate etc.
HV is really starting to get other bits moving.
Very scary.

Thanks pip. I needed someone to give me a bit of a shove & remind me I am doing the right thing. I know deep down that he will never change, but sometimes a little part of my brain goes travelling to a land where fairies would exist!!
It is impossible to act all normal ATM, which is why I am pushing bits to the back of my head in order to get through each day without cracking up.

LW - sorry - have been under a work avalanche, and was off on family commitments SAt / Sun. Will be online / e mail tomorrow after noon. Hope all goes well.
Just be honest with them - HV and other woman - let them know how you are feeling, because for once (and from now on, I hope) things need to be centred around how you (and the boys) feel and what YOU want. It must be a bad enough strain keeping up a front at home, and at work (in some ways). I think on MN and with the people suporting you, it needs to be your voice that is the one most listened to.

Am thinking of you.

Thanks Blu.

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I had already retired to bed when you posted, Essbee. Just as well really, as I have been awake pretty much constantly since 1am with both H & DS1 throwing up every 10 minutes or so.
I spent the early hours washing countless sheets, towels, pj's & even DS's favoutite teddy!
DS2 has been a bit off his food recently & has had a touch of diarrhoea, so I am praying that he doesn't start throwing up too.
Feel I should go into work, as they will think I am pulling a fast one, so have phoned my Mum & asked if she can come round & help.
Hopefully I may be able to go home early after the meeting.
Ds1 seems a little better & has stopped being sick now thankfully.
I am very tired & not looking forward to this meeting at all.

Good luck with the meeting.

I really hope h didn't didn't stain or mark anything when he was throwing up!!

Thanks CQ.
The meeting was long & reality has hit home.
I realise that I am now at a very scary crossroad.
Came home straight after. Feel like crying but I can't, as H is home.
Will post more when I get a chance.

E mail me when you can, if you like.

This sounds like a very very hard moment for you, I wish I was closer and could come round and help - with everything.

Thanks Blu. I wish you lived closer too!
I will mail you in a bit if that is ok.
Feel shattered, but my HV told me I looked better than I did before my last meeting, so goodness knows how rough I looked then!

Blu, I have mailed you.

So glad to hear you are still taking all these steps to sort things out LW. Take it as easy as you can, this time of year tends to seem especially stressful.

Sorry the meeting was stressful. Look forward to hearing about it when you have a chance. Are the boys feeling better?

That is what this woman told me today. She said it is the most dangerous time.

They seem much better, thanks CQ. DS1 has not been sick since 10.30am & has had some toast now.

Hi LW - what was said at the the meeting? Do they mean leaving is the most dangerous time? What would H do if you were to leave him? How would he react?

this must all seem so surreal. Try to keep calm.

Don't know how he would react, shannen.
She said the most dangerous times are Christmas & when you leave.
It is all too much to take in right now. Very scary stuff.
How are you?

Still in limbo unfortunatley. Very lonely and confused.

Sorry to hear that.

Why is Christmas a dangerous time?

Something to do with the extra stress.
I remember having a really bad time last Christmas.

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Don't think I will be able to stay up very late tonight Essbee, I am shattered. I am hoping that DS2 doesn't come down with the sicky bit tonight.
Feeling really mixed up ATM.
HV is meant to be visiting me at home tomorrow, providing H is back at work & that I am not ill myself with this bug.
It is all so much to take in & I realise that I cannot pretend none of this is happening, as it very much is.
Seeing them again at work, in January.

Had a better nights sleep & both boy's seem to be a lot better this morning.
H has gone to work on his 12 hour shift, so I have time to try & think some of this hard stuff through.
My HV is coming round at 1.30pm to see me at the house today.
She told me that it is hard for her to be throwing all this hard stuff on me, but that I have been very open & honest with her all along, which tells her I am asking for help.
Was so mixed up yesterday that I didn't eat anything all day.
Need to try & get my head around everything.

You have come a long way, he appears to be on the back foot at the moment, do not let this fool you into beleiving in a new dawn, a leopard never really changes his spots.

Thinking of you.

LW, I can see that you're really going through it at the moment. It all must seem so daunting.

You need to look after yourself though otherwise you will become ill and that will make things even harder. Try to eat well and rest when you can. Good nutritious food will give you the energy you need so don't skip any more meals (I know, I sound really bossy & mumsy)...

I know you have lots of disturbed nights so you must be feeling shattered. Can you get anyone to babysit for an afternoon so that you could go off and do something nice, or just go for a walk and clear your head?