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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

xh is he a scrooge?

65 replies

davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 08:09

my ds phoned me last night, he had been to meet his brother to support him with relationship problems, he missed the bus home sunday night as he hadn't realised his last bus was 6pm. ds phoned his dad to see if he could stay at his house for the night,(my xh) his dad allowed him to stay over, when ds was ready to leave they gave him an itemised bill and demanded he paid straight away.
sarni and cup of tea £6
glass of juice £2
bed for the night £30
2 slices of toast £3
cup of tea £2
anyone else got a scrooge as dh/dp/xh ?
both xh and his wife have very good paying jobs.

OP posts:
EnSuiteShed · 28/06/2011 08:11

Are you sure that they weren't joking?

If not then they are out of their mind.

£3 for 2 slices of toast Grin

allnewtaketwo · 28/06/2011 08:15

what age is your DS?

Original poster
davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 08:17

no it's not a joke, i was a carer for dd and home looking after her, i wasn't allowed heating in in winter till he was home to put it on (boiler was locked) only him with a key, xh has always been the same. his dad was the same with him, eg charging board, making him pay tv licence, if he had a bath he would charge extra, etc

OP posts:
Original poster
davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 08:18

ds is 22

OP posts:
EnSuiteShed · 28/06/2011 08:21

Well this is one of the saddest stories I have ever heard

EnSuiteShed · 28/06/2011 08:22

Does he charge guests when they come to visit?

Or does he have no friends?

HowlingBitch · 28/06/2011 08:22

Tell him to piss off! He's his son too.

Just ignore it honestly.

HowlingBitch · 28/06/2011 08:23

Oh I see, So you DS paid it right away. That's horrible and sad. I'm sure DS will not be making that mistake again. What a weeble.

EnSuiteShed · 28/06/2011 08:24

Your question is "Does anyone else have a scrooge XP?"

Honestly love, I can pretty much guarantee that you won't find anyone else on here whose XP has charged their child for staying the night.

But I could be wrong.

Original poster
davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 08:26

xh is violent so ds had to pay up, his wife took my ds to the bank and demanded he paid, i'm angry as my ds isn't working at the minute and that night cost him over a weeks money,

OP posts:
allnewtaketwo · 28/06/2011 08:27

Presumably he was also a scrooge when you met him, if he has inherited/learned these traits from his father?

Is this the first time the charging has happened

AmyStake · 28/06/2011 08:32

I don't know what to say other than Shock and :(.

What a horrible man your XH is. How is DS feeling about it?

Original poster
davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 08:34

he wasn't a scrooge till we got married, my ds3 19 is supposed to live with xh he pays £40 a week board but this doesn't include food, washing, etc. it's the first time they charged other ds2, as he thought his older brother was joking about being charged a few weeks ago

OP posts:
SayItLoud · 28/06/2011 08:36

You need to ask if he's a scrooge? That goes way, way beyond 'normal' miser tendencies, he is in a league of his own. I can't imagine how you must have coped living with that, and well done for getting away. I hope you are helping your son to cope with something that he must find incredibly difficult emotionally, poor thing.

frantic51 · 28/06/2011 08:40

Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock Angry

I could understand, if your ex and his wife were unemployed and your DS had a job maybe asking for a "contribution" for food but £2 for a cup of tea?!!! That's more than you get charged in a cafe and what's the £30 for a bed for the night all about? FFS!!!!

allnewtaketwo · 28/06/2011 08:40

He sounds like an idiot. I doubt your DS2 will want to stay with him again. Why does DS3 choose to stay with him?

bran · 28/06/2011 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 08:48

trying to help ds but i live a long way from them, had to move away for mine and dd's safety.my ds's don't visit me very often as if xh finds out he threatens them with violence if he finds out, i'm not allowed to visit my ds's as it puts dd in danger to be in that area, last time dd got black eye and bruised face,arms,and back....yes was reported to police but was told dd has sn and she must be a liar, her dad and his wife assaulted her, btw u could find his wife in a school near u with your dc

OP posts:
pink4ever · 28/06/2011 08:49

Sorry but dont understand why your ds didnt just tell them to fuck off?. Surely at the age of 22 he is able to handle himself and stand up to them?.
Also why does your other son choose to live with them if they are violent and mean?.

frantic51 · 28/06/2011 08:55

They are not allowed to visit their own mother??!!!! They're adults FFS! I've heard it all now! Can you/your sons not get a restraining order against this man?! Does one of your DS live with his father? It's not clear from your OP. If so, why? Shock Sad

Original poster
davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 08:55

ds is scared of them, he only uses this as his address as he stays with friends all the time, sorry i should of said ds2 (22) has moderate learning difficulties and asd,

OP posts:
frantic51 · 28/06/2011 08:58

If my ex beat up one of his sisters my DS would knock him into the middle of next week and never see him again! He wouldn't of course, he is a first class twunt and a control freak but he's not that mentally unbalanced by a long way!

frantic51 · 28/06/2011 08:59

Sorry x posted but Shock Shock Shock Surely something can be done to restrain this madman?!

Original poster
davidsotherhalf · 28/06/2011 09:02

when i say xh is violent he don't use fists, ie axe, baseball bat, cricket bat, knives, glass, etc. he don't want any evidence on his hands for police to act on, he says you can get away with anything as long as you smile while your doing it

OP posts:
BonzoDooDah · 28/06/2011 09:04

F-ing hell. That is outrageous. Charging his own son! And the violence! Isn't there a restraining order or something you can have put on them? Sad You shouldn't have to live your life in fear. How very sad for you and your children to live in fear like that.

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