So, had date on Sunday, another one this Friday - what do you think of this?

[shineoncrazydiam0nd]

Had warm ish date with man on Sunday evening and we have arranged to go for dinner etc this Friday and ..well, see how the night goes I suppose!

I already know him in that I went out with him for six month when I was 14 and he was 17 - we are now 39 and 42 respectively and our paths have crossed again so just seeing how things go really. I have only seen him once or twice over the past 25 years and not at all for the past decade or so.

So, we go out for a drink on Sunday. He is not some jack the lad, he is the UK's top person in his specific field, very intelligent man. I get in his car and he has a can of beer on the go. I make some comment and he says that he always has a can of beer when driving along. I'm not sure what to think about that! Obviously you'd have some questions to answer if the coppers pulled you over etc but WHO has to have a beer when driving? An alcoholic? An 18 year old lad trying to impress? Is this NORMAL behaviour? I suppose I wondered what was the urgency..

We then drive off to the pub. He drove at 95miles PH along the road - a 50 zone. I swear to God I nearly wet myself. We were taking corners at literally breakneck speed. I told him to slow down - he did so by about 3 mph! He was laughing and incredulous that I was so scared - ' but this is a top of the range BMW! The brakes are incredible and there's about 7 air bags on your side alone ... '

So... is he a twat? Tell me straight. my radar is not good really at the best of times when it comes to men. He is lovely, btw.

That all sounds about right to me.

Wasvthat a voice of reason from omg? So it was

loser

He won't seem so lovely when you are both lying in a ditch, possible dead from his drunk driving.

Shiney - am presuming you weren't being sarcastic? I'm really not the best person to offer advice, serious self esteem issues here myself but it seems simple to me (shrugs) just don't get in his car. If he turns out to be a nobber in any other situation then you need to think again. But if he's ok company and you're not looking for longterm then I really can't see the problem.

I have no idea whether you are a committment-phobe, or not.
I am of the mind that Oscar Wilde was correct: those that enjoy their own company are often not wrong.

no sarcasm. you have hit nail on head omg..

yes blu yes!!

There's got to be parallels between the BMW, driving dangerously, finding your fear amusing and his erectile dysfunction.

Reality < hand to chin > I am experiencing a real moment of epiphany based on your startling insight. This is my Damascene moment

Really??? Oh that's made my day :) Seems obvious to me, maybe he was trying too hard to impress you in a teenage boy kind of way. But tbh I'm still guessing teeny tool but who knows he might make up for the driving in other ways! But no agreeing to hold a can of lager for him whilst on the job ok? :D

yes, really. You just summed it up for me. im not about to try and convince people on here ad infinitum about how wonderful my life is but i like it and enjoy it and feel love being free to see who i like when i like. feels like freedom to me. i read so much stuff on here, people stuck with horrible, ignorant men and i am grateful that i have loads of great friends and can see and err shag who i so wish to. So it seems decidedly odd to be told that I must have a sad life based on a thread about a guy who is a bit of a dick. And that if i see him once more then, by proxy, this makes me a twat with low self esteem Weird, weird.

So yes, what you have said makes the most sense to me, along with MIFLAWs posts.

bah

Shiney there is nothing wrong with being single, long term if you like, and having fun/sex/encounters/company with anyone you like. But why do it with a wanker of this calibre? Drinking while driving is pretty fucking reprehensible. And driving at 95mph is an utterly wankery thing to do. Seriously shit. It can't be worth overlooking such twattery for the sake of an evening out or even a shag, can it?

Doesnt sound like he has moved on from being a 17 year old boy out to impress

I would personally ditch any man who felt the need to try and impress me with his car/driving skills probably after shagging him first

The drinking while driving and not slowing down would be an instant dismissal

Hey Shiny, another one here wishing to point out that 'commitment-phobic' is only another term for 'actually very sorted person who understands that heteromonogamy is not compulsory.'
Attila, your insistence that it's wrong/sad to have casual sex when you are over 40 is bullshit. People who prefer casual flings are often happier than people who are so desperate for commitment that they hook up with one loser after another or stay with a loser long-term purely because they can't bear to be single
THis bloke sounds like a knobber, of course, but I can see why it's tempting to hang out with someone you remember from your teens, you're kind of overlaying the (wanky) adult he is now with fond memories of what he was like when he was a showoffy teenager, when behaviour like this would have seemed kind of daring and exciting when you were a reckless teen. But don't get in his car again.

Hi shiny, I am in a simular situation to you at the moment, having split up with H 9 months ago I am not looking for a serious relationship, just some fun.
Went out with someone last night whose driving was umm.. interesting at times though nowhere near as bad as you describe. There were also some other things that I think some might describe as red flags if I was looking for a relationship, but I'm not, he's a nice guy and I had a fun evening so am planning to see him again.
I don't see why you shouldn't see this bloke again (as long as you don't get in a car with him driving!) nothing wrong with having a good night with someone whose company you enjoy:)

TWAT

Really, honestly DO NOT GO THERE

Well, obviously I agree with sgb, even though I am not deliberately non monogamous. I just can't see the point in having a relationship for the sake of it. So it was weird to see me described as 'desperate' by a few posters when nothing could be further from the truth.

I am not going to cancel Friday but i am not going in a car with him driving. My car or a Taxi it will be. I have no intentions of having a long term relationship with him, but a bit of food, a drink and whatever is not crime of the century..and incidentally, he may be a complete tool but I dont intend to make him MY complete tool

TSC - there you are. Late to the party

Is this just more material for your book, shiney?

Damn. Rumbled

In that case, you must see him again to report more twattery.