So, had date on Sunday, another one this Friday - what do you think of this?

[shineoncrazydiam0nd]

Had warm ish date with man on Sunday evening and we have arranged to go for dinner etc this Friday and ..well, see how the night goes I suppose!

I already know him in that I went out with him for six month when I was 14 and he was 17 - we are now 39 and 42 respectively and our paths have crossed again so just seeing how things go really. I have only seen him once or twice over the past 25 years and not at all for the past decade or so.

So, we go out for a drink on Sunday. He is not some jack the lad, he is the UK's top person in his specific field, very intelligent man. I get in his car and he has a can of beer on the go. I make some comment and he says that he always has a can of beer when driving along. I'm not sure what to think about that! Obviously you'd have some questions to answer if the coppers pulled you over etc but WHO has to have a beer when driving? An alcoholic? An 18 year old lad trying to impress? Is this NORMAL behaviour? I suppose I wondered what was the urgency..

We then drive off to the pub. He drove at 95miles PH along the road - a 50 zone. I swear to God I nearly wet myself. We were taking corners at literally breakneck speed. I told him to slow down - he did so by about 3 mph! He was laughing and incredulous that I was so scared - ' but this is a top of the range BMW! The brakes are incredible and there's about 7 air bags on your side alone ... '

So... is he a twat? Tell me straight. my radar is not good really at the best of times when it comes to men. He is lovely, btw.

I have not read the full thread but had to stop at "But he is so clever! Really, if you googled him you would be impressed! He is nice, funny, good looking.."

My ex is nice, funny and good looking, if you put his name in Google you get thousands and thousands of results.

He is an absolute twat in every sense of the word, even when the word "honorary" often preceeds his title.

Years ago I told a woman from Women's Aid "if you knew him, you wouldn't believe it. He is absolutely charming"

And she answered "of course he is, otherwise how would you think abusers get away with all they do?"

She was right.

Now, to exh's credit... he never behaved like a stupid teenager behind the wheel. You have got a wonderful red flag in his driving telling you not to get involved with this man, don't ignore it.

I have also just remembered that on another post you said that he had driven your babysitter home

How bloody irresponsible of you. You knew he drank in his car, he then drank again in the pub, he drove like an absolute prick and wouldn't slow down. Knowing all this you then still allowed him to drive your babysitter home.

Do you really not have any regard for anybody? I bet the babysitter's mother would be pissed off knowing that you knew all this about him and still let this happen. It's fine if you are stupid enough to get in the car with him but to subject this onto somebody else is really stupid and shows a lot of immaturity from you.

I actually think you are as bad as him now.

As for you been shocked that people are suggesting you are desperate - why? There is nothing wrong at all in not wanting a relationship but just wanting to date people when you feel like going out for dinner/shag etc, but I'm sorry but to decide to do it with such a prick does stink of desparation. Why can't you do this with somebody who isn't such a dickhead?

Having seen what you did with the babysitter though maybe it is becoming clear and you have a smiliar mentality. I am really shocked that you allowed this to happen. If it was my DD I wouldn't let her anywhere near you to babysit again.

Wow some people really are dumb. You have to wonder how some people are allowed to have children when they bring people like this into their lives.

Even if he hasn't met them yet, he could wipe out you the mother in a heart beat, kill the babysitter too.

He is driving illegally, likes to frighten you, and he is easily, easily drink driving on the amounts you state.

Are you totally stupid and desperate? Get some help really, if you think this is anywhere near normal, silly woman.

Honestly some of the biggest arses in the world are at the top of their game and great looking, it takes a lot of arrogance in most careers to climb.

Is she totally stupid and desperate? Read the thread Shesgot...

Yet again, the baseline assumption of intellectual and moral superiority of the MN massive rears it's spiteful head.

A bit of care and some nice manners. That's all. No, she's not. She's said as much. Lay into him all you like, he sounds like a knob cheese, but don't call the OP silly and stupid. Silly and stupid would be not even wondering if this was normal, not asking an opinion, and starting to practice her signature Mrs Shineonyoucrazybeercan

No, silly and stupid is allowing this knob to drive her babysitter home knowing how he behaves behind the wheel. The OP said herself she was seriously scared of his driving, but then kindly got her babysitter to be subjected to it. Nice.

Bloody Nora.
I don't venture into relationships very often. Is it always this aggressive?

Lately, yes Pagwatch. Shame init... Such terrible manners!

Bloody hell have some of you never had a date with a guy who was a bit of a nob? It happens sometimes you know that's the point of DATING - to see if you like him or NOT.

Do you lot have some kind of checklist before you step down the promenade with a man, chaperoned by your mother like some kind of Godfather courting scene?

My bet is that this guy is going to be utterly dreadful in bed. It'll probably be the worst sex ever. And, as you'll be driving, you'll be completely sober and totally aware that it's dire.

I'd like to think that I'd've gotten straight out the car again when I saw the beer can, but I'd probably have been to taken aback to think about it properly.

Yes, of course i have had a date with a guy that was a bit of a knob. I didn't arrange another one knowing this.

What I certainly didn't do is allow him to drive my babysitter home after the date knowing he drives dangerously, knowing he refuses to slow down when asked and knowing he was over the legal limit to drive.

Seriously, would any of you do this?

Twat, dump him and make sure that you tell him exactly why, so that he can reconsider if he really is such a good driver, after all, good drivers don't scare their passengers. Grown men should know better.

1. drinking anything whilst driving means you're not paying attention to the road.
2. Carrying on driving at excessive speed after your passenger has asked you not to is controlling behaviour.
3. He was over the limit when you left the pub, why did you get in the car with him?

Don't see him again. He is a nobber.

Where did you get the babysitter bit from, DrWhose?

BLoody hell. Is this still going?

Frankly, I'm staggered, OP, that you haven't lost your rag with some of the offensive shite that's been thrown at you.

Or maybe it's because you're such a pathetic loser with such poor self-esteem, that you no longer recognise it when you get it????

(said in irony, natch...)

God - delete the thread, meet him by taxi, let us know what he was like in bed (also really getting into this one now).

AND PLEASE post a pic of him. It's only fair to!!

lostmyidentity - Oh I shan't lose my rag Have been on MN for years and am very comfortable in myself etc so it means nothing to me if someone wishes to tell me that I must be a twat with low self esteem. Water off a ducks back.

drwhose - please dont trouble yourself to post anymore if you dont mind. Anything further I shall consider a personal attack.

Id actually be really grateful if EVERYONE could just stop now

I myself wont be posting any further so feel free to knock yourselves out and REALLy get going with this - adding in little bits and making up stuff if you like I will report anything that I consider a personal attack.

Some of you possibly need to re train as therapists. lofty ones at that

but Shiney, you have to report back. You almost owe it to us to go on the second date and find out how terrible he is in bed. Or I suppose you could lie and entertain us all with a fictional account

I'd be happy either way.

Oh yes come on Shiney, don't let us down now!

I'm DYING to hear that he shagged you at 95mph whilst balancing a can of beer on your forehead, and when you asked him to slow down a bit he said "not to worry these are top of the range condoms and I can stop any time I like and will never ever have an accident . . . uh . . . yeah . . . oh sorry love."

Yes yes. We are allowed to stay for an update surely.

"PS shesgotherlipstickone - do fuck off. Twat" Oh Shiney, you are so out there aren't you. Isn't that a personal attack? It's ok for you to do it but you want to bleat off when it suits you. Aside from that, you really need to read your posts, its clear who the twat is here.

I'll post where I like Shiney, you know what, you don't actually own MN sp aren't really qualified to tell me when I shouldn't post.

If you want to view it as a personal attack that is up to you. Its funny how your own behaviour on MN where you are often very frank with your opinions gives you the reputation you have but when people post things you don't like you play the martyr and pull the old personal attack card. Even after you have already dished out a personal attack yourself.

I got the bit about the babysitter from the OP's other post. Nothing I have said is made up - it is all facts that the OP has stated. I see how she hasn't bothered to explain anything about the decision she made to let him drive her babysitter home, just done her usual and announces she is leaving the thread when she doesn't get everyone fawning all over her.

Enjoy your date with him anyway. Hey if you are really lucky, you might even get a shag out of him. What a treat considering he is 'sooo clever' and 'top of his field in the UK' and drives a 'BMW that he handles very well'. Way to go.

God Pag you MUST be joking if you think I'm going to update on what happens next... not on here anyway. Not battling with some of these half wits any longer. And no, I don't mean those who have merely posted opposing views or stuff I don't like to hear. I mean the cocks who believe they are cod psychologists when in reality they know fuck all about fuck all.

Shiney, you did ask though, and this is the MN of which you are a veteran, so you can't really blame anyone for giving an opinion you don't like..

That said, I am also of the mind that you should shag him and report back. I am living vicariously through this thread

Oh a big yawn at drwhose.

I'm obviously quite a draw to you aren't I? Are you living vicariously through me or something?

OK, feel free to keep banging away on here.