Marriage v. cohabitation

[Tatties]

DP & I do not want to get married - big wedding, dressing up, etc.. just not our thing. We are as in love with each other as any couple ever could be, commitment is not an issue, but to us marriage just does not symbolise that. Why can't people get it? Your views please

Advice anyone?

Our baby is 8 months old and I am just going back to work. My problem is that I am the main and nearly only breadwinner. We are not married and my partner is going to be staying at home and looking after little one for part of the week.. What happens if we split up? I would want to keeo the baby and employ a nanny but Will he get right sover our baby and will he get rights to my earnings, pension etc.
Am a little nervous that I dont have a clue about this ACtually I feel pretty stupid!

DOes anyone have any experience of this?

No idea but seems fair enough for him to have some entitlement if he isnt working in order to look after your child.

get married then. problem solved

He doesnt want to get married

i am breadwinner in my relationship and it really doesnt work very well,i think most men need to go out to work and feel that they are providing for the family,my dp looks after ds when i am at work (3 mornings a week) but he certainly wont be getting anything if we split up.He doesnt pay any rent or mortgage for instance

well, have youpointed out that getting married is in his own best interests?
other htan that, ther eis nothing you ca n do.

So,what are the financial and legal benefits to getting married then? Me and my dp swapped commitment rings this year ater five years together and one dd. Weve always said we wouldnt get married as house is in joint names and we have a will and its just not something we wanted to do.Surely that would give us the security we needed if anything were to happen to one of us?

I am married, but don't wear rings, I am not bothered as being identified as a married woman.
In terms of legalities marriage is the most straightforward way of avoiding problems if Dh or I get ill or die. Wills can be contested or changed without your knowledge. I have know that to happen, in the meantime all money is frozen until the dispute is resolved.

You can have a legal marriage ceremony without inviting or telling anyone, your life does not have to change on iota, but your legal status will have.

Tatties..DP and i will be celebrating our 25th not silver wedding in January
We got a bit of grief early on especially from DPs side.
I might say it was entirely my choice not to get married,DP did ask a few times but i just didn't want to be married.
My hang up i suppose [weirdy]

Don't personally care whether people marry or not-it's no indication of commitment (or need not be), however it does get on my wick when people who won't get marry start complaining that they have no rights in relation to the other.
Sorry, but the function of marriage is to provide those rights.
Don't care if you're legally regarded as a stranger to your partner? Fine.
If you do care, get married.
Just don't complain when the law sees you as being nothing more than a housemate if you choose not to marry.

Bloody hell,just saw the dates on this thread......
December 05????

I think you are very wise op. And stuff people who don't get it !

It just depends on what you want on your gravestone (loving wife/husband) or someone's partner/boyfriend etc.

Partner always makes me think of country dancing.

Lol at MerrilyDefective, I just read the whole bloody thread too! D'oh.

Marriage for me, atm because DH and I are going through a horrible patch, and it is an extra incentive for us to try and work things out. It gives the impetus to stick around even when you don't feel like it, because if DH left he would lose everything. So you stay, and then realise you do love each other still and this could still be a really good relationship, the one that you want.

That's just IMHO, I'm not going to convince anyone that they should get married because then it's financially, legally and socially harder to leave! Who wants to think like that? But I've found it a benefit, because crap times DO come, and otherwise DH and I might have lost each other by now.