The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Head To The Summer Of Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse

Welcome aboard The Brave Babe's Battle Bus. There are a whole host of lovely posters here who will support your journey to sobriety, however you choose to get there.

We are a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers and those who are somewhere in between.

BUT - we will never judge or leave a poster out in the cold. So, find a seat and settle down for the journey ahead.

And HERE is the last thread and those before it too. Just follow the links to read the journeys so far.

I have a busy week too. The weekend was pretty sober really. I hope that many more weekends follow suit! Happy 30th Noteven! Poor you, Mouse with your food poisoning. I hope you are feeling better today.

One of our ducklings died last night which was very sad. We had hoped against hope that he would survive, but I felt he was running out of breath yesterday. The vet said that there was very little he could do. Today we are going to bury him. Otherwise, the sun is shining, and I must get on!

"This morning I saw my gp (probably not such a good idea) who said I wouldn't get a referral for councelling if I was drinking. I am slightly baffled by this, as alcohol has never prevented me from doing what I was going to do, and I have not made concessions for it."

This is probably because, for a lot of heavy drinkers, they are unable to be honest while they are still drinking - the drink makes them rationalise, manipulate and blame others. I am not AT ALL saying that this is true of you - only you will know whether it is.

But, based on experiences like this in the past, your doctor may have a policy of not referring for counselling (a service where demand massively outstrips supply in the NHS) for people HE considers "problem drinkers". Again, not saying that this is always right or fair - but it might help explain it.

Damn. Day one again for me. It was DP's birthday and we went round to his father and step-mother's. Had a few glasses of wine. I need to figure out and action plan for social situations. I did so well not drinking all last week and more importantly Friday and Saturday. Really pissed off with myself.
Happy birthday for yesterday Noteven. Wish I was 30 again.

thurso - I know what you mean about feeling that much better being a wee bit lighter. I'm like that too.

silent - thanks, yes, after a full 13 hours sleep and mucho sweating, I felt fine.

lcui - hmmm, yes, you do need a plan. You need to not have that first one don't you..... any ideas so far? Sorry you feel really disappointed.

Morning MIFLAW

hi all
sore and bruised here and feeling very sorry for myself. no car, no money, rainy day and boy on school holidays....
mouse hope you;re feeling better soon.
thurso - good for you on the healthy lifestyle. bet you'll look great at the graduation.
waves to Venus

Luci

Can't remember - are you in AA? I ask because I sometimes find it really helpful to

a) go to a meeting, even just the first half hour, before a significant social event

b) locate the nearest meeting to the event so that, if I need to slip out, I know I can - and often just knowing it's there if I need it means I don't need it, IYSWIM

On a practical level of course, the old "I'm on antibiotics" is evergreen.

Sorry - morning, Mouseface!

MOrning everyone

Hope you OK Ma - bet you will feel shaken up/bruised for a few days
Noteven happy birthday for the other day, glad you did it sober. From what I hear the 'firsts' are hard, first birthday without someone yuo love etc.

Well I went to the hospital this morning and they think the lump in my throat could be a blocked gland but they want me to go back in a month to check it and possibly do a biopsy, consultant said he can't rule out cancer. Feel half reassured and half worried .

Not done too badly drink wise over the weekend but seem to have initally cut down and then stayed at the same level so I need to try harder.

DP finished things on friday night (via bloody text) as he didn't think that I was 'into him' enough. CAn't disagree I guess but its a shame

ma I hope you feel less bumped and bruised soon, something like that gives you such a shock. Take care and be kind to yourself.

noteven happy birthday, and well done on getting thrugh such a difficult day

luci you did really well to get through your Friday night and Saturday night. Now you've done it once you KNOW you can do it again, if you want to. Don't let your drinks yesterday pull you down - even though you drank, that does not take away from what you managed to pull of for the previous 6 days. Often in social situations I tell people that I've got a bit of a headache, so I'm just going to have an orange juice (or whatever) for the moment. No-one has ever tried to persuade me that wine would be better for me. I also plan beforehand what non-alcoholic drink I am going to have, so things are not left to chance, and I'm not tempted to have a glass of wine just because it seems to be the easist option.

I've had two lovely days away with my friend, and I've back home for a quick turn around and re-packing before leaving early tomorrow morning on a work trip. I shouldn't be on here, I should be sorting out the washing but I couldn't help wanting to catch up with you all. So hello to all, especially mouse, JWN, thurso and if anyone is in touch with isindie let her know that I miss her wit (and her mad poetry).

The duckling had a good funeral. It could have been very comedic, but actually it was very touching. It's interesting that a death, however small, brings up such strong feelings. I'm having a glass of wine and may or may not have another. I don't think that 2 glasses of wine is overdoing it.

MIFLAW, most addicts in my experience can be devious manipulative liars, but it doesn't help them to be told it. Please, please be careful what you write. People come here because they KNOW something is not right, and you can come across as being rather judgemental.

Zany - what a spineless fucker he is for doing that!

You deserve much better than a coward who chooses to end a relationship like that!

So sorry xx

Night Babes, be Brave xx

Hello everyone.

I have been away from here for a long time (lurking from time to time, though), so in case you don't recognize my new name, it abbreviated to the first three letters of this one. (Cryptic, sorry! ).

I just wanted to check in and say a big thank-you to all the old-timers on the thread who have helped me out and to everyone posting at the moment who're still helping - I've just finished my 5th sober month and I wanted to tell you all how wonderful you and this thread are.

Thanks.

(Off to catch up now!)

mouse - hope you are feeling better now!

zany - sorry to hear that. I agree it's a crappy way for him to end things.

silent, I don't know if this will make sense but something you said really stood out to me. It was this bit:

'This morning I saw my gp (probably not such a good idea) who said I wouldn't get a referral for councelling if I was drinking. I am slightly baffled by this, as alcohol has never prevented me from doing what I was going to do, and I have not made concessions for it.'

I don't know if this helps make sense of things, but as I understand it prolonged exposure to high levels of alcohol actually changes the brain chemistry. This is what physical addiction is, and part of what a hangover is: it's your brain getting used to the crash after you withdraw the alcohol. So, I think your GP may not even be thinking about how you respond on the conscious level to counselling. S/he may simply be aware that a problem drinker is probably someone whose brain is in a particularr state, and maybe it's not so easy to make counselling work while your brain chemistry is so dominated by the effects of alcohol or alcohol withdrawal.

Plus ... and I promise this will be my last post in a row, sorry! ... I think that many, maybe most alcoholics and problem drinkers are those who at least started off by not allowing alcohol to stop them doing anything, by making no concessions to it. We're the people who found we could drink too much, struggle through the hangover and carry on, and it worked for us - so we kept using alcohol as a crutch or just for 'fun'. That's how people get into the state some of us are in, where the alcohol is something we depended on. Not a fun place to be.

hello LRD nice to see you back, you small, colourful reptile! well done on 5 months sober.
Can't sleep since stupid car crash so have been awake since 4 and am now mning in bed on the laptop. cba getting up and facing the day. Mychest hurts whatever position I am in and have no car now in which to take out whingy bored boy....I'm a miserable git!

My brain is not dominated by the affects of alcohol withdrawal! I do not start the day working through a hangover, and I am not dependent on alcohol. I do have a problem with alcohol though in that I do at times drink far too much, in my book. I have seen enough times the effects of too much alcohol, and I know well what it does to people myself included. Had councelling been ineffective in the past, I would have been dead a long time ago. I am keeping a diary of my drinking and writing things down and I am seeing my doctor again this week. Over the past week, I have drunk within 'safe' guidlines. If this is an inappropriate place for me to post, please let me know.

I am sorry dementedma. It's very shocking to be in a car crash. I hope you get some sleep soon.

silent - please keep posting here if you wish, people are simply trying to help! tbh though, if you are not dependent on alcohol, why do you not just simply stop drinking?

btw - HI!!! to you LRD!! its so nice to see you!! bloody well done you!!

Silent, I have to say I agree with Venus. If you are not dependant on alcohol why do you have a problem with it? Please keep posting here. Everyone is welcome. All thoughts and insights are helpful.
Perhaps I have become accustomed to MIFLAW's tone but I have not found him remotely offensive or inappropriate. He does however tend to give you the no frills honest truth. Not always easy to hear, I know.
Day 2 for me.

Morning everyone!

demented - I'm so sorry to hear about your car crash (I have finally caught up on the thread ... but if I'm sounding stupid about things it's probably because I missed them). Hope the pain is better soon.

jesus - hi to you too! It's nice to be back with the Babes (and MIF ... a male babe-equivalent?).

silent - I'm so sorry, it wasn't my intention to offend you. I'm simply thinking about the chemical side - it's no reflection on you as a person! Alcohol is basically a form of poison that does interesting things to brain chemistry ... when I say your brain spends some time withdrawing from those effects if you're a drinker, that makes you the same as any other drinker - it's the effect alcohol has on anyone. That's honestly all I meant.

I think maybe if I compare it to coffee I'll get my point across better without offending: imagine you're a big coffee drinker, 10 cups a day. Now, obviously, if you stop the physical effects will be huge and pretty painful (headaches, jitters, etc.). If you only drink one cup (totally sensible amount, maybe comparable to drinking 14 units of alcohol a week in terms of 'safe limts'), you'll probably barely notice if you have to skip your daily cup. If you do notice you'll probably feel the effect is more psychological than physical: you've lost part of your routine; it's annoying. But actually there will be physical effects, even though you don't really notice. You may only notice a slightly headache or a tiny slump of tiredness, or a better night's sleep afterwards, if you cut out coffee completely for days on end. But the chemical effect of even a small amount of caffeine still registers in your brain, and so does its absence if your brain i used to it.

Do you see what I'm saying? I don't mean you're going through any kind of heavy-duty physical stuff (and I do think your GP is a little odd in not explaining reasons better), but alcohol is a drug and like any drug it affects us.

Off for my second cup of coffee now

Sorry for wrongly referring to Venus (I meant Jesus) and Miflaw instead of LRD.
Doh. [shame]

Silent

I haven't told anyone that they are devious manipulative liars. I said that, if some doctors won't prescribe counselling to heavy drinkers, it is because they have had bad experiences with other heavy drinkers in the past who have failed to engage fully with counselling.

Rest assured that I am always careful what I write. that's no guarantee that people will like it or even agree with it - but I don't post lightly.

I am sorry if I come across as judgemental. I don't judge anyone, beyond assuming that people on here have a problem with drink - problem meaning that they drink too much, but also that they are having a problem not doing so.

I also post from a position of one who has been there. By the age of 28 I was an emotional, mental and physical wreck as a direct result of my drinking - I didn't even have drugs to blame it on, it was all down to alcohol. And I was a manipulative, selfish liar who ruined other people's lives (at least temporarily) in the process. That's my experience and that's where I've come back from - today, one day at a time, it is over eight and a half years since I last consumed any alcohol.

i'm sure not everyone here was/is as bad as me - some of you might even be able to return to drinking normally. But that's where I was and that's where I am. I don't think it's going to help anyone if I try and sugar the pill. So I just share what I know - if anyone finds it doesn't relate to them, please just ignore it because, if this thread proves anything, it is that, as much as we all have at least one thing in common, we are all different too and my experience may well be different to yours.

hello mif!! hows the family?

They are well - though I am being a typical alcoholic by projecting - I am worried that my 3-year-old, based on her current behaviour, may turn out to be "one of us" - do you think perhaps I am worrying prematurely?