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Original poster

I have given birth to a demon

160 replies

Quattrocento · 13/05/2011 19:43

DD gave DS a birthday present recently

Said birthday present consisted of her old IPOD shuffle, which was no longer required

DS was very grateful

Say what you will about hand-me-down birthday presents but they are not particularly thoughtful IMO

But then she compounded this by STEALING what was now her brother's IPOD shuffle, and SELLING it on Ebay

Suggestions?

OP posts:
dickiedavisthunderthighs · 14/05/2011 15:03

You can do it easily.
Computers/laptops used in family areas; lounge/kitchen whatever.
Internet access barred on mobile phones.
You have to know what they're doing, surely?

nickelbabe · 14/05/2011 15:04

she stole it.
clear and simple.

the law backs this up - if you give someone something as a gift, it is then their property.
you cannot take it back, but you can ask for it, and you can buy it.

ooh, and she's over the age of criminal responsibility, which means you could get her arrested for stealing someone else's property
and sellling it on is fencing: she's selling stolen property.

tell her all that, then take confiscate her iphone.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 15:07

Only allow them to use their laptops in the living room or the study with a parent standing over them? Honestly, that's just unfeasible. It would require both of us to stand over them separately all night watching them doing their homework. They have a lot of homework. That sort of protectiveness is necessary and possible with primary aged schoolchildren, but it just doesn't work with teenagers.

OP posts:
Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 15:08

I'm with you Nickelbabe! We've had a stern conversation about theft.

OP posts:
5inthebed · 14/05/2011 15:13

Putting aside the fact she has quite pricey technical toys, she has stolen her brothers property.

She should give him the money she made selling it. Does she still have the money?

How does your DS feel about this all?

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 15:15

Strangely enough - it's me that's cross/worried/angry rather than him. He just tells people about it with mock-indignation and laughs.

OP posts:
zikes · 14/05/2011 15:18

I think you should make some efforts to monitor what she's doing 'though. OK, in your view, it's unrealistic to supervise internet use all the time - but you can do occasional checks, such as looking over her ebay account so you know what she's selling (if you allow her to keep it) and sort of doing spot-checks of FB/Twitter/whatever else she uses.

stillfrazzled · 14/05/2011 15:19

Has she said why she did it, Quattro? Apart from wanting the money, of course.

squeakytoy · 14/05/2011 15:19

Quattro, you need to wise up on your internet skills and monitor your kids more closely I think. There is no way a parent should be happy with their kids "running rings around them", certainly not at 11 and 13.

There is no reason at all why they cant sit and do their homework on their laptops at the dining table with minimum supervision. Once homework is completed, router can be switched off and computers closed down.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 15:20

She is only allowed FB on condition that I am a friend. Although that too can be circumvented through having two accounts, but I'm reasonably convinced by the amount of sheer nonsense posted by DD and her 1023 nearest and dearest friends that she only has one account.

It genuinely is a minefield

Oh and the money from the Ipod has been repaid. With interest.

OP posts:
TheFlyingOnion · 14/05/2011 15:26

I actually blinked when I saw she also has a macbook. I've been considering one of these for myself and was put off as they're so expensive!

And I got my iphone at the beginning of this year for a euro as the new one had just come out and they were selling off the old models.

Even if you are millionaires I don't think your kids should have all these gadgets. You sound as if your children are spoiled. I'm sorry, but its true.

TheFlyingOnion · 14/05/2011 15:30

they have a laptop each??? each??? And your ds is (just turned) 11???

You're absolutely nuts. Nuts!!

squeakytoy · 14/05/2011 15:31

Quattro, I would say that as a parent, you should know the passwords of your childrens FB accounts. A lot can go on which you dont see unless you are going into the account properly periodically to check, and you wouldnt see any of it if you are simply a "friend" as she could easily block you from seeing things she doesnt want you to see.

TheFlyingOnion · 14/05/2011 15:32

BTW you may consider it the "norm" for your dd to have an iphone, but how are you going to monitor her internet use on her phone?? She can access all sorts with it.

And why does she even need an iphone anyway?

zikes · 14/05/2011 15:35

You should know her passwords, imo.

bronze · 14/05/2011 15:52

It's very easy to prevent friends from seeing posts on fb. I do it with my mum and I'm 30

Btw will you be my mum please. I would love an iphone and a macbook

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 15:54

Dunno about the flaming for them having a laptop each. Most of their homework is done and submitted electronically.

As for why a macbook rather than a laptop, DD set her heart on it. She did jobs around the house, sold old games and clothes etc and paid for the extra herself. She saved for the best part of a year. We contributed some (partly a Christmas present). Don't see why anyone should have a problem with that frankly.

OP posts:
bronze · 14/05/2011 15:56

Do teens really have to do homework electronically? Well school are going to just love me when that time comes

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 15:57

Actually I think I might have thought the same had I been the parent of a pre-schooler rather than a teenager.

I can say with complete certainty, hand on heart, that every single one of both DD's and DS's friends have their own laptops. Things change as they get older.

OP posts:
TheFlyingOnion · 14/05/2011 16:03

wow, how do kids do their homework if their parents can't afford laptops? And what's wrong with using the family PC, which I presume you have as you seem to be loaded ?

We still use worksheets round here...

And I'm not flaming you, you make the choices you feel are right, and I really try not to flame on MN. I'm just a bit Shock

Doha · 14/05/2011 16:07

I certainly don't have a problem with your DC's having their own laptops and iphones etc my kids all have these. But l am concerned re the lack of boundries that seem in place.
It is very easy to limit their internet access and l have doen with DD2 in the past. I removed her laptop, ipod and Blackberry for 1 month, any homework that had to be done, or studying was done in the lounge with me and DH present, Then it was removed again. I have access to all her passwords and she knows l will check up on her.
What is more concerning is the theft of the Ipod. She really has to be made aware of the seriousness of her actions and in my book that would be the withdrawl of all her gagets for a long period of time.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 16:08

Just done a quick audit as both brats are here - yup, they all have their own laptops. I genuinely thought this was the norm. I think it's probably the school that's led us into this.

DS has mislaid something. He wandered in and said to DD "I'm just checking to see if you know where it is. You haven't sold it have you?" Much laughter from him and indignation from DD.

We can make this a thread about how ridiculously I spoil them, if you like. Oh no, we did that already :)

OP posts:
dickiedavisthunderthighs · 14/05/2011 16:11

You keep referring to them as teenagers. One is 11 and one is 13. They are children. They need boundaries.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/05/2011 16:12

Thanks Doha, that's sensible advice. I'll talk to DD about getting her passwords. The gizmos have all been confiscated, as I mentioned before, and will be until the end of the month.

OP posts:
YesWhat · 14/05/2011 16:18

lol at your ds taking the mickey out of your dd
That'll learn 'er. Wink

And yes, after primary school it's a whole different bag of fish with children. They all have their own laptops and mobiles and bus passes etc, they're not toddlers.

Get with the programme, fuddy duddies!