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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

WHY do men do this?

81 replies

forsure · 10/05/2011 07:26

I was online dating a while back and at one point was talking to this man who while he seemed very nice was a bit over keen with the texts and i backed off.
Fast forward a year and i restarted online dating and he messaged me. We had a bit of a natter via the site and he seemed much more chilled out. So we swapped numbers again and have been having text conversations for about 3 days.

Nice normal, getting to know you type stuff.

Until last night.

Texts got a bit innuendo like, fine, it was fun and flirty. Then, bam! cock picture sent to my phone. There had been no talk to cocks. Or of pictures. Indeed he had sent no pictures at all.
He started asking for one of me, i kept saying no, i was not going to send pics of me like that to somone i hadnt met. He would say thats fine i dont have to do anything i dont want to, but two seonds later i would get another text telling me to ' come on, send a pic, i want to wank over you'

nice Hmm

Then i got a recorded voice file in which i could clearly him him wanking talking in great detail what he wanted to do to me.

I am not impressed. In fact i feel a bit depressed about it.
WHY!!!!

( clearly im not going to meet up with him now) But i just dont get why on earth men do this?

OP posts:
RabbitPie · 10/05/2011 07:38

This reply has been deleted

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sailorsgal · 10/05/2011 07:41

Not all men do this. Those who are just trying to get their leg over will. At least you found out before you met him. You have had a lucky escape.

FreudianSlipOnACrown · 10/05/2011 07:47

What is he, 15?!? Twat.

And it's not 'men' it's just the fact he's an idiot.

SarahStratton · 10/05/2011 08:15

Eewww that is disgusting. And immature. At least you found out now, and not 6 months down the line.

colditz · 10/05/2011 08:17

Send one last message back.

"Leave me alone, you fucking pervert. I'm not a blow up doll."

corlan · 10/05/2011 08:20

Why do men do this?

Because they're wankers (obv)!

colditz · 10/05/2011 08:22

And not all men do this, I promise. The only time my now partner made lewd suggestions was when I had made it abundantly clear that I wanted him to! he was an absolute gentleman until we had been talking (phone) for 3 weeks and had met twice.

Anniegetyourgun · 10/05/2011 08:22

I like how it was recorded; he probably plays it to a lot of victims women.

allegrageller · 10/05/2011 08:29

I had SO many men do this when I tried online dating. It was deeply depressing. I think it has almost become a kind of courtship ritual for a certain type of man

TechLovingDad · 10/05/2011 08:31

Keep the recorded message and text him that you will be taking it to the police, along with the cock pics as it's so tiny it can be used to identify him.

What a knob, literally.

davidtennantsmistress · 10/05/2011 08:34

no not all do, only twats who don't respect women & only look for their next lay.

i'd etierh ignore him or and report him to the site. also block him completely.

sounds like a real charmer thou. Hmm

(ps met DP online and he was the same as colditz DP - he only started with smutty sort of chats once i'd pushed the boundries at about 3 weeks, but he never took it further than I wanted it to go smutty wise & was certainly never vulgar)

Famouslastwords · 10/05/2011 08:36

Yeuch! Especially at the recording!
Most men definitely do not do this otherwise I would be resolutely single!
Text him back telling him that you weren't impressed by his cock and that he makes weird noises that really put you off while he was wanking. Followed by 'fuck off'!

howdidthishappenthen · 10/05/2011 08:37

Euwwwww. Twat. Oh well, roll on the next one.

PlentyOfPrimroses · 10/05/2011 08:50

What corlan said. What a wanker!

forsure · 10/05/2011 11:23

He text me this morning some junk about me teasing him.

I replied that he clearly wanted some kind of ' text slut' like some cheap 0800 number but that it was really depressing and it was a shame as i thought he was actually interested in me.

He replied with 'pardon'

then about 10 mins later something about it only being fun, that he is interested in me as a person and that he is astounded ive behaved that way.

OP posts:
TechLovingDad · 10/05/2011 11:24

He needs a major dose of fuck off.

TurnipCake · 10/05/2011 11:26

Oh yes, he's astounded by your behaviour! Ha, brilliant! :o

I wouldn't engage with him anymore, he sounds dull and manipulative

Didyouever · 10/05/2011 11:31

Didn't it sound alarm bells that you've come back to the site and he was still on it?

sailorsgal · 10/05/2011 12:00

I personally wouldn't send flirty texts with someone I hadn't met. Not condoning what he did as he is a waste of space.

gawdonbennett · 10/05/2011 12:42

Another cock photo saga.
I liken these to the Nigerian bank fraud scams. It's unbelievable that anybody would actually fall for them, but obviously some must do else the scammers wouldn't bother sending them.
Therefore by the same reasoning there must be some women who really go for the cock photo otherwise MrCock wouldn't waste his time sending them.
Maybe these blokes should just save time by posting their cocks as a profile picture on dating sites.
I'm sure they'd be accepted...as long as they're done in a good light and tastefully of course.

allegrageller · 10/05/2011 13:21

gawdon are you really sure there are ANY actual women- who are not being paid to do so- who would willingly get involved in smut photo and text swaps with strangers?

Maybe the lonely, young and impressionable. What a sad thought.

I think there are indeed dating sites for the Mr Cock types, one wishes they would all just stay on them.

forsure · 10/05/2011 14:00

indeed.
hence my 'text a slut' comment. Honesltly nothing better than if he had paid.

Totally different if you are seeing somone and i did text this to him last night. I am not a prude at all but for goodness sake, why would i want to see his cock before i even saw his face.

Worse is hes in his 30's in a very sensible and well paid job!

Having had a quick look through his facebook ( before i delete him) it seems hes besotted with about a woman a month and all his friends are making comments like ' here we go again!'

OP posts:
gawdonbennett · 10/05/2011 14:03

Has he got a 'cock' photo album on his Facebook page?

HerHissyness · 10/05/2011 14:07

gawdon: PMSL! nice one Grin

Allalone0 · 10/05/2011 14:16

Techloving great comment absolutely loved it....

"Keep the recorded message and text him that you will be taking it to the police, along with the cock pics as it's so tiny it can be used to identify him.

What a knob, literally."

OP maybe you could put the picture up on his facebook.....lolll (before you delete him)