The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spring Into Summer.

[Mouseface]

Hello

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

This is a quest full of Babes, all fighting to remain sober, cut down or are somewhere in between right now.

You ticket to travel is free, it won't expire, and the Bus will always be here, even if there are days when you are not. So come say hi.

I'm Mouse. I have a thing for cheese and vodka, not together, well, not always!

Here is a LINK to the last thread, where you can read all of the previous threads and the journeys so far.

ok mouse!, i'll 'let' you do it! put me down!

night night!!

I wonder if it may be better to buddy up, I'm not sure if say, on a bad night, several people were to ring my DH would be too delighted, but if we had small 'cells' so everyone had a couple of others they could call on?

sorry - not suggesting you ring DH, he would probably just tell you to get a grip

I hope you understood what I mean.

Hiya!

God, sorry to panic you all so much - just to reiterate - it wasn't my attacker who may have been at the meeting, it was his brother. He wasn't there anyway.

Well, I think my HP may well have been working for me tonight because with no replies I ended up going to the meeting with my sponsor (not the all women one). Like I said, the bloke that makes me uncomfortable wasn't there so that was the first thing and it turned out that my sponsor really needed to be there, the 'thing' in her life is a big deal not some triviality. Talking to her and offering a helping hand if/when it's needed has done me the power of good as well as hopefully letting her know that she has support.

I also saw a few people who I felt I could relate to a lot in the first few weeks of attending, who I haven't seen for ages.

I really don't think I'm vulnerable to the less desirables who are no doubt all over the place in AA (13th step??!) as I'm not a single woman and I have plenty of support from both inside and outside of AA.

I am, however, interested in the women for sobriety movement and I intend to look into it further. I only dismissed it at the beginning of my journey because they don't have meetings, or at least I couldn't find any near me and I feel that at the moment I need a lot of meetings

Sorry again for worrying you

Great to hear you are OK, and that the evening went well. No apologies required at all, I just think it might have been one of the first times that someone has gone unanswered on this thread though. It has been pretty quiet round here over the last few days - must be the holiday season...

Hi BB twinny (that's the last time I will use that expression, in case you're cringing )

It's an interesting concept that AA breaks you down and builds you back up again. I don't think that's been my experience at all! I did have fears that it was brainwashing in the early days and then I swung to the idea that even if it was, if it worked then so what

My feelings around it now are that (for me, anyway) it's a growth path, not a restructure. I've had to rethink some lifelong concepts and make space for new ideas but it feels positive. I had a bit of a revelation around the HP the other day because I had feared that having a HP would diminish me somehow, but now I feel it's more like when you have a second (or third or fourth) child. You don't lose love for the first one, you simply grow more love for the next one and applying that to a HP, I now feel that it makes me bigger not smaller, if that makes any sense.

I think if I felt that anyone was taking advantage of me, including my sponsor, then I would simply move on. I have so far stuck to people - mostly women - who I feel I have something in common with, which does give me a sense of security within AA. I think I'm quite good at spotting people with an agenda that might not be in my best interests and have so far avoided them whenever possible.

just saying hi
am drinking again, for no real reason other than i want to. but I don't really.
i can't afford it and I'm not really enjoying it.
I'm insane!!

where is everybody?

ma, you are a daft old wotsit! go for a run this evening! - you and your running inspired me to join a gym!, you cant let me down now!, (i've bought all the gear! )

golly! so glad you are ok!

im off to chair my first aa meeting today! i dont know quite how that has happened!, something to do with being sober i suppose!

i also have to go and get a lovley pair of purple wedges ive seen, get my hair done and i might think about a spray tan - me, me, me today! but in a good way!

laters babes!

L XXXXXXX

oh btw BB your dh sounds very famililar! thats one of my dhs favourite sayings!

Hello babes and Miflaw

I'm slinking back on the bus - after a month of heavy drinking (holiday, social gatherings) I've come to the conclusion that my life is certainly not made better by drinking; I woke up yesterday morning thinking "I'm somehow still alive/not in hospital/dead and I want to keep it this way" so it's day 2 for me and I intend to listen to my poor body.

This is the worst I've ever felt - shaking hands, headaches, nausea, back pain all served up with a massive dose of self-pity. But I take comfort knowing that my body is at least trying to fight back.

Not sure what I've missed, will try and catch up - but a massive well done to JWN for a whole year of not drinking. You really are an inspiration and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your honesty, courage and endless support to others, despite your own battle. You are a star!

Huge waves to everyone (Mouse how are you and the gorgeous nemo?)

xxx

Morning Babes.

Oh Ma, what are we going to do with you lovely?

Golly - I'm pleased to see that you are okay and that your meeting was okay in the end.

Re emergency numbers.... what do we al think? I thought maybe just three or four mobile numbers? For emergency only? Like last night. Or the night that venus was stuck in an airport wobbling.... or any other time when a Babe has needed to hear a voice or to ask advice and there's no-on on the thread?

I know that a few Babes have passed their mobiles around to posters anyway, but what do we think for a number that everyone can use?

BTW - I had a text from the lovely Red this morning, all is well with her, she's still not working and misses all the Babes but seems very happy adn VERY loved up

WasOnce

Welcome back.

the only danger with listening to your poor body is that, if you don't drink for a while, it won't be your poor body any more. It will be your incredibly well and healthy body. and what, then, is going to counter the mad part of your mind that says, quite quietly but insistently, "a drink might be a good idea"?

At the very least, take how you are feeling now and fix it, very firmly, as a memory. This is what "watch the film to the end" means - next time you think of having a drink, watch not just the beginning of the film (laughing with friends, up to the bar, small glass of expensive wine or half a lager) but the end as well (how you feel today) - and all the bits in between too (how did the small glass of expensive wine become this?)

Xposted with you all I see

Welcome back Was - sorry that you are back on the Bus for all the wrong reasons but then again, I guess that's what Gerald is for?

Nemo is still as bad, his nurse is due any minute so I'm hoping she will bring me some good news...... about something. Anything. Huge hugs to you xx

JWN - you are so glam. I am in awe of the time you have to glam yourself up! One day, I too shall be glam.

@2; our experience is typical. Especially the conspiracy of silence. I don't know what to say. It goes on and on and on.

You are not powerless, fgs.

You can address the abuses at aacultwatch.

Oh, I hope the nurse helps, Mouseface.

I'd be a good person to call if any of you have middle of the night emergencies, because of the time difference, but not sure anyone would want to pay the international rates? happy to be a contact, though - it's not like any of you are going to hop on a 28 hour flight and come stalk me if you know my real name, after all.

jwn a year and a birthday chair - many congratulations, and just think of the sobriety that your journey has brought about through here.

I am heading south tomorrow for mum's funeral and DD is coming with me - I get to have her for the 2 nights :) - I know my mum would be pleased with this, and I have a meeting to go to down there on Friday and feel happy about just randomly walking in - even I am starting to see the changes.
I've been being a bit self pitying the last couple of days as I've not been feeling well - finally accepted today that I am sober but not superwoman and sometimes I am not going to feel too good, that's just how it is. I think it may just be IBS gone a bit crazy with the emotional stuff that's going on but have tummy pains and nausea as well.

Love to all x

Hi Darlings!

Hope all is well with everyone and glad you are OK Golly :)

Women for sobriety have a great online forum, www.womenforsobrietyonline.com; a chat room and masses of helpful resources which more than make up for the lack of UK meetings. I LOVE it there! The whole emphasis is on empowerment and positivity. Designed by women for women - love it.

Thanks to all for taking my diatribe in good part - it's something I care very passionately about (can you tell )

There's also lots of thought provoking info at www.orange-papers.org

If those links do't work try googling.... sorry

Afternoon

Ok, so I've spent the last hour or so trawling round the aacultwatch site and what I see is very positive in terms of AA itself - it seems to be concerned with people within AA who are megalomaniacs or predators with their own agenda. You get them everywhere and I don't think people are any more at risk by going to AA meetings than they are by stepping foot inside a bar, which we've all done with varying degrees of catastrophe in the past. If anything, that site can only be good for AA as a whole by weeding out the 'cult' members who try to run AA as their own personal show.

I'll go have a look at the women for sobriety site now.

Purplebrick - nice of you to drop by, I didn't realise anyone had uttered the word 'cult'. Must read back.

Hey noteven that is such great news! I know that the circumstances aren't the best but at least you will have your daughter there with you, when you need her the most I guess. I'll be thinking of you. xx

tortoise - thank you for your kind words, the nurse has her hands tied in lots of respects, she can only ask for appts, calls, meds etc..... the rest is up to the Powers That Be. Which where we are up to yet again.

How are you? Not seen you here much?

stinkin-thinkin.com/why-i-left-aa-stinkin-thinkin-stories/www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_q0.html

www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_q0.html

stinkin-thinkin.com/why-i-left-aa-stinkin-thinkin-stories/

Purple

Do you never get bored of posting those links?

Are you never tempted to go into why you, personally, dislike (British) AA so much and what alternative you, personally, have made work?

MIFLAW that's a good idea re fixing how I feel right now as a memory, as I know exactly what you mean about the body recovering but my mind allowing me to trick me into thinking a few glasses won't hurt (not that I can ever just have a 'few' in the first place). I usually get to day 5 and then the whole sorry-arsed cycle starts again.

mouse oh I'm so sorry things are still bad for nemo - I will keep everything crossed that his nurse can offer you some extra support xx

I read aacultwatch at first as being occultwatch - not that 'spirits' have even been my choice of poison . I'm not even getting into the AA debate - from hopping on and off this bus I've learned so much and I applaud anyone for getting help in whatever form helps them, be it AA or something else. Hell I might even cartwheel naked down the high street if it means I crack this god awful cycle of self-harming I've gotten myself into. I fail to see how bashing something that works for others can be productive in any way at all.

I'm off to read 4c4good's links

Thanks Mouse - I think I get a chance to get this right for DD - her Grandma was significant in her life, and though I've had to fight for it, I believe that being at the funeral will help her work all this out the best way she can. She overthinks things at times, wonder where she gets that one from!!

Purple - I think you'll find most posters here are keen on anything that works - and positive support - and honestly looking at ourselves. Like MIFLAW, I wonder where you are coming from, and what has worked for you, we all know what hasn't worked for you!