The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

Ma xx

Evening all

I could bloody murder a drink. Probably stating the obvious, but felt the need to say it!

Ma I just wanted to echo the practical advice re sheriffs etc above. If getting legal advice is difficult, it's sometimes possible to get some from the law department of a University - I'm not sure where you live, but might be worth a try.

Hello Changeling!

Thurso, the little fantasy made me smile too!

Welcome Changeling

Hey Trist - how are you feeling now? There are a lot of wobblers out there tonight, myself included.

Off to keep busy with Nemo

Hello,
checking in to say nighty night.

Hello Changeling good to see you. Congratulations on 52 days!

DH came back from his trip feeling a bit better, but has booked a dr's appointment for tomorrow, and I am going to go with him. He fell sound asleep about 45 minutes ago, and has now gone to bed, but I am pretty tired also, emotion overload!

I hope Nemo sleeps well tonight Mouse , and that the Dt's don't wake too often Inde.

Ma DH will be well rested for the morning, then! , seriously, well done for having just the one beer, it must have been difficult to resist tonight, when the usual default on a horrible day is to open the wine (talking about me, here !)

Sleep tight all babes, boybabe and babies
xxxx

Night all, I'm going to head the beast off at the pass.

Nemo is really unsettled so I'm going to put my energy into him and not sinking a bottle of wine.

Something about the lighter nights, warmer days makes me think drink.

Night lovelies xxxxxxx

Forgot to say JWN , I hope your back is a bit easier tonight.
Really am going to bed now!
xxxx

Hi all, and welcome changeling - post whatever you want here, whether you're feeling good or just hanging on by your fingernails. We're not all AA on here (although it's sometimes like an online AA meeting here with lots of ODAAT advice ), we just post what we feel, and hope that it helps ourselves and others.

Hello,

I think I could do with some help. I drink far far too much, its very easy for me to drink a bottle of wine every night with no hangovers etc... I hate it, its a habit I need to break and I realise how very unhealthy it is for me. I dont even want alcohol some nights and still do it.

Can anyone offer any practical advice for me to cut down and stop?

Hope you dont mind me jumping in but you all seem very together and I just feel very silly...I mean its simple isnt it....just cut down...but I seem to be struggling with that bit.

Hi Export

Welcome aboard. There are folks on board aiming to cut down and others who have decided, with various forms of support and none, to stop drinking completely. What we all share is a worry about the amount we drink and that it has a negative impact on RL. Whatever you decide is right for you there will be support on the bus.

I was a bottle or more a night, no disabling hangovers but generally felt constantly 'under par', slept badly and constantly felt guilty about my drinking and the effect it had on my family. Since stopping the guilt has gone and I can't tell you how much better I feel. RL still has its challenges but they seem easier to get to grips with sober. It is difficult sometimes but I keep on keeping on ODAAT and that has seen me through the last 10 months or so. So today - I will not be drinking. Will you join me?

Hi export.

Hope you are ok this morning.

Practical advice that helps me:

Find what triggers you to reach for a drink. Is it a reward when you get home/get the kids to bed? Do you really like the taste? Do you and your DH/DP always have a few bottles in the house? Do you find you just reach for it because you always do?

Once you know that, you can try to distract yourself - change your routine for the time when you drink. Even if all you do is go and sit in a different room/chair, you're still going to be slightly less on auto-pilot about reaching for the glass. If you have something else to glug down, that can help too - fizzy elderflower/cordial is nice and not too sweet.

If you've had a glass or two and the rest of the bottle is calling, brush your teeth, get a cup of tea or something, or take yourself to bed.

I know these are just random tips but they all came to me from these threads and I have found them really helpful, so thought I'd pass them on. I expect their owners will be on soon thinking 'the bloody cheek, I told that LittleRedDragon that two months ago' ... thanks all!

Welcom export - we are not very together at all, we just pretend to be . Another bottle a night quaffer here but am working hard on it. You will find lots of help here.....

Speak for yourself with the pretending, ma - some of us don't get that far!

Oh hello, thank you all for replying, I was quite worried about posting.

My triggers....hmmm..well wine'0'clock seems to occur everyday about 6pm its like I need to mark the time when I can switch off. I know a lot of it is habit because if I go to work (like I will be tonight) and work till 8 I wont want to have wine till I get home and wont think about it till then, so I suppose its the psychological ahhhhhhh at the end of the day.

Also I decided to swap wine for vodka to see if it made a difference (and in an attempt to lose weight) if I have that I can literally have one glass and stop no problem, also once my DP made me one and completely forgot to put the vodka in and I had no clue, so it must be psychological as I didn't need the alcohol per say just the thought of it.

I do get the guilt feeling, hence me being up in the middle of the night, also I have put on lots of weight which I'm trying to shift and seems so ridiculous to me to be counting calories in the day and guzzle wine in the evening, it's like my brain can't compute that this is empty calories.

I do have a small confession...I have no children but this looked like an active thread, I hope thats ok. Thank you all for the replies....I feel a little bit hopeful like maybe I will be ok after all.

I know what you mean about being worried to post, but we're all in the same boat here and it's quite comforting I think.

Interesting what you say about it being psychological and about the calories -you sound very like me! I have no children either, I don't think anyone minds? Though I am sure they'll rush out to tell me/you so if they do.

What do you think you're going to go for, do you know yet? Cutting down or a 'today I won't drink' approach? Plenty of like minded people on here for either.

I haven't had a drink for just over 2 months now, and I spent ages stopping, falling, drinking, stopping, etc. - I think pyschological addiction is awful because you feel as if you should be in control, almost as if you have no 'excuse' to find it hard to stop. Though, for what it is worth, I had a few physical symptoms and they didn't kick in until I'd been sober for 4-5 days if I remember rightly - like you, I'd not notice one or two days of not drinking. I'm just saying that to warn you because otherwise it's very strange!

Anyway, I am rambling on and should shut up, but really nice to see another one of the childless mafia on here.

Oh yay, nice to see a child free person here too ...

Well in an ideal world I would love to only drink if it was a proper celebration or even a couple of glasses over the weekend. I think I have to be realistic though, If I have a bottle of wine in the house I will drink it, so first thing is first avoid buying wine.

I would be really happy not drinking in the week and restricting it to weekends as that would be cutting down massively. However I can see myself already making problems with that i.e bank holidays coming up, when I meet friends we tend to go to wine bars. I worry if I stop completely then I will find it difficult to socialize.

See I'm already talking myself out of it. I need to decide on something and just stick to it....i'm very indecisive.

Morning All

Welcome export - all are more than welcome to join our motley band. Children are not a prerequisite!!

I used to try and manage my drinking. Only at the weekend, only in company, only in a day that ended in a "y" . For me it bacame all consuming and impossible to manage! I hated myself for being all consumed by when I was and wasn't drinking. Very very tiring.

I stopped drinking (for the umpteenth time) almost 5 months ago. Best thing that I have ever done, it means that I have now lived through a Christmas and a New Year without a drink. I have socialised (although not a whole lot), I have had people round for meals. I have lived my life, just without drinking.

It has really not always been easy - (see further up the thread for my most major wobble on Sunday night), but in the main I am much much happier.

I feel clearheaded. I look much younger than I looked! And possibly younger than I am (37). I sleep better (mostly). I have no guilt shame or remorse, because everything that I do, I do sober and clearthinking!

It was incredibly daunting to begin with! I thought that the task was impossible, but I do manage it ODAAT, with support of the peeps here, AA and my friends and family.

The first thing that I did was get rid of all the alcohol out of the house.
I then developed my own "drill" - a routine that ensures that I don't reach for the car keys to go and get supplies!! This means that for the first 3 months of my sobreity I spent a whole heap of time in the bath! , and the rest of the evening in my jammies! . Everyone's drill is different, but we all do what works for us.

Very happy to have you on board, we are all different, I chose to stop completely, some of us have cut down markedly. You decide what you want, we support you to achieve it!!

Ok will stop wittering now.
Hope everyone else is Ok?

indie - bless you for my poem. How is the house of contiagion today?
JWN hope you are feeling better too!
mouse mwah mwah to you and Nemo
ma and thurso hugs - hope your days are better than yesterday
LRD glad to see you about the bus again.

Love to all others!
Bafana

hello! im really groaning and moaning, ive never had a bad back before and im tired, pissed off and uber grumpy!

welcome to export!, nice to meet you!, you should never be afraid to post!, it was one of the best things ive ever done!, i got sober and got to meet all you lovley babes! what could be better?

Export

Hello.

"its very easy for me to drink a bottle of wine every night with no hangovers etc" are you sure that there's no hangover? Could it be that a mild hangover has become so much the norm that you no longer notice it?

"I dont even want alcohol some nights and still do it." That sounds like it's stronger than you and you have to give in. That's not a habit, that's a battle.

"Can anyone offer any practical advice for me to cut down and stop?" Yes. Don't cut down - stop and stay stopped. Do it one day at a time and talk to others in the same boat, either here, in AA or both. That's my advice. I am aware that it might not be what you want to hear and, who knows, you might find an alternative you like better. But that's my advice.

"but you all seem very together" - believe me, I used to be just like you. If I'm together now it's because i finally followed the advice I have just given you.

"I just feel very silly...I mean its simple isnt it....just cut down" - it's simple to jump off a cliff but that doesn't make it easy. You probably find the thought of drinking less or even nothing incredibly scary. That will pass but you probably aren't convinced just yet. It seems a big gamble.

Stick around.

Hi all

JWN sorry your back is so sore. No fun at all .

Isinde sorry you and the DT(s) are still full of cold.

Successfully swerved the wobble last night; reading on here helped (as always), as did actually just saying I was wobbling. I felt my shoulders un-hunch a bit even as I typed.

Export - you have been comprehensively welcomed, so I'll confine myself to saying what they said .

I've had one drink in 3 and a half weeks, which is probably the best I've managed in over 15 years other than when pregnant or with a very new baby. I'm tiptoeing around the dawning realisation that moderation is probably not a go-er for me, and that not drinking at all is probably the way forward. Still whispering it though, so that I don't scare myself away.

MIFLAW articulated something above which hit me this weekend (sober, with friends here - not a scenario I thought I'd ever see). I suddenly realised it is a gamble: either I'm overreacting, or I do actually have a real drinking problem (disclaimer: I know deep down that the latter is true). The consequences of taking the wrong decision are vastly different, though, and I feel like I'd rather take the risk which involves just not having any more alcohol, than risk ending up in the place which a bottle+ a night will ultimately take me.

Morning -ish all

I had to stop - I have been batting it for over 30 years now and just couldn't accept I was an alcoholic - did all the usual cutting down tricks but they just didn't work. I didn't suddenly have a 'rock bottom' or revelation really, I just realized that I couldn't carry on one night - phoned AA in a very pissed state and someone called me the next day and invited me to a meeting. God it was scary! But I cried the whole way through, managed to stutter something and haven't looked back really. I go about three times a week and am getting into the steps idea and Big Book. there's a lot i don;t agree with but I have met a lot of amazing people and the amazing thing is they're all like me Middle aged, middle class, young unemployed, old, whatever - alcoholism isn't fussy! I still have the mental health problems but the booze really wasn't helping and i'm determined to sort it out!

at Indie's post.
one word of warning export. When I stop drinking (ie have a couple of booze free nights before I fall off the wagon for the umpteenth time) i find it incredibly hard to get to sleep. toss and turn for hours and then wake up feeling like shite. Without a skinfullglass or two, I find it very hard to switch the brain off. It does get better if you can get through the first few days, or so I'm told!!

Hi change sorry I didn't say hello earlier. Really hope that you find the bus a helpful addition to the RL support you have already.