Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

Hey Starting the playmobil royal thread on classics could help. Especially the photos.

On a more serious note you are a lovely lady and have many years of happiness ahead. All will come good.

Starting ,all I know is I was happiest when I was with my X ,but it was all dysfunctional and having my heart broken by him is the most pain I have ever felt ,but I know this isn't the end of my story ,just a few chapters ,I'm flying high now and more independent than ever,its all just waiting for us around the next corner x

Morning from a hungover getting !

Street party was great , think I have been teleported back to the 50's where everyone is really nice

loved the wedding but was relieved to see this morning I wasnt the only one to have so many emotions about my own marriage stirred up but am ok with it. This will sound bizarre but I am glad I have had the experience of getting married , as a girl growing up with feisty single mum never thought I would

for the first time in ages though yesterday at my new and then old street party really felt my single status, walked past my old house and a neighbour asked how I was getting on and wished me luck but in a sad way iyswim ?

off to find some Resolve

Hi all, I too felt very sad watching the wedding. It made me think about my own and how it was the best day of my life and everyone said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to. My h was so gorgeous and we laughed all day including during the service. Tho we were together for nearly 3 decades we married very recentley so the memories are very new.

Watching yesterday, and how the couple were so 'proper' and subdued and restrained made me feel quite sad for them as mine was the opposite and we and our friends had such a wonderful, carefree, wild day. Won't give details as I don't really want to out myself but it was amazing and unfortunately I think I've just realised that I'll always be in love with him.

I wish I hadn't watched it now. Shit shit shit. I really didn't think it would have that affect on me.

Went to a lovely street party in the afternoon and going to a great friend today. Just wish I didn't have such a huge burden of sadness which weighs so heavilly and which I know I'll always have.

Must try and focus more on his many vile habbits

Have a lovely day everyone. Where are you Tea ? You ok ?

xxx

Sorry to hear u think u will always feel that way pink .....I'm well rid of mine
Out with the old and in with the new I say.
worst thing that could have happened was I'd stayed with the abusive arse .

Just co parenting with the dick is bad enough,
Preparing for another dad of the year visit tomorrow,has promised Ds completely inappropriate present,just an arse.

Ps I thought will and Kate looked happy relaxed and in love x

Just a quick one, i couldnt face watching the wedding
Just the thought of it made me sad, i wasted 11 years and never married, it just makes me think i'm 31 and have never been loved enough for someone to want to marry me

Seen the pics though and she did look beautiful

have a good day everyone x

I wasn't married when I was 31 yo ,sov.
Loads of life ahead of u mate!

Take care,doing a big tidy up in kids room [smileu]

Hi everyone from hungover googs. I'm such a lightweight - I only had 4 drinks all night! Got glammed up and fabulous (well, for me) girls, with hair curling tonged, thankfully no facial scars this time, dress on, red heels, bit of jewellery. Had a really good do, even managed to have a great dance, whilst holding onto a big pile of helium balloons, had nice food and a good giggle with everyone. All in all a good night. Was greeted with the deputy head whose first words were "Wow you look stunning!" which did the fragile ego no end of good.
Funny day yesterday. I know what you all mean about the wedding. Think it was good to go to my evening do because both of them had been married before and had found happiness again, which shows that it can be done, despite difficult circumstances, families who don't get on (the bride's mum and dad hate each other and have both remarried but they all came and made a big effort) and children from previous relationships (the groom is now a granda at 48, as his middle son has had a baby). And when I looked round the room, there were so many single mums that I know and women I know who had remarried that I kind of felt hopeful and also happy that I was able to go out and get dressed up for me alone and have fun because I am trying to live life to the full now, despite heartbreaks.
Tea - you're quiet at the moment. I hope you are ok lovey and that the problems of the last few weeks aren't getting you down too much x

Woo hoo googs glad u had a lovely nite,
U ok Elsie?
Well gave kids room a good tidy ,3 black bags

Glad you had a good night Goo, am off out tonight to dance my cares away :o

Elsie, Tea, hope your both ok?

Have a good evening everyone xx

So sad to read all the emotions stirred up by the royal wedding. Have to confess though that a part of me felt glad that I wasn't the only one that felt down. It caught me completely by surprise that it made me feel so down & emotional. Anyway, today's a new day!

Xh had dc's today & ended up bringing up about court case, infidelity etc. He ended up crying. Think reality of what he's done is finally beginning to sink home. Have to try & remain detached as I really can't afford to be dragged back into stuff by xh.

Goo, glad you got all glamed up & had a great night

Pink ((Hugs))

Hi girls. If you want to see the results of my glamming up, have a look at pics on my profile. If you can't see em let me know x
Hope everyone is ok today. Sending all of us strong ladies lots of love x

More tears starting,funny how these guys didn't give a flying fuck when it was us crying .
Hugs starting hope he is treating dcs well x
tidied the whole frecking flat ,just an ironing to do .
Went to the park for 3 hrs for a picnic,walked Ds bike home with a puncture. Lol.

Have a fab nite sov x

Yeah Sov - have a goodun - you deserve it pet x
Trying to work with a hangover is so crap. Had chicken pie and mash though, so should start to feel better :)

Goo, oh you look fantastic in pics, like a teenager . No I'm joking I'm not at all envious as I'm so pleased for you that you're looking so radiant

Patience, yes crap isn't it! He was genuinely devastated. It's just so bloody sad really. I'd say he'd give anything to be able to turn back the clock but tbh I'm happy to be away from him as even at his best he was still hard work & mentally unstable. At one point he said to me "you know me well enough to know I would never have done any of that in my sane senses" I just turned around to him & said "You're wrong, I never knew you at all". Saying all of that I'm trying to stop myself feeling sorry for him or sad as from past experience I know that while xh might of been genuine today he could be completely different the next time I have contact with him.

Sov, hope you have a great night out & yes you certainly do deserve it

Hopes all absent dumplings are ok.....

That's it starting,
Mr Nice /victim
Mr charming ,in love with himself .
Mr Angry bastard.

The 3 phases of my Xs cycle.

Unless u have lived it ,u truly wouldn't believe it.I guess mine just used the tears to manipulate me ,to get attention and reassure himself that he was a great guy,cause deep down he knows he isn't ,he's a selfish bastard.

Well, I had a very interesting conversation with exh this week in his car on the way back from that school we went to. He said that gf is jealous of me cos I have kids with him and she doesn't and he won't have kids with her. He also said that she doesn't love our boys (which made me very sad, as I always thought she did and that's one of the reasons I haven't minded her being there with them) and that she often goes awol on the weekends he has them cos she can't be bothered. So I asked him if he loved her and he said no, so I asked him why he was with her then and he couldn't answer. Sad, isn't it? Because I wouldn't be with someone just for the sake of it, I couldn't be with someone I didn't love, who didn't really like my kids, just cos I was scared of being alone. And it made me think that although I've had tough crap times and sometimes struggle with the kids on my own, I would rather be true to myself and not with someone who doesn't love me or cherish me, OR with someone whom I don't love, just for the sake of it. I just found it all very sad because I loved him once, only man who has made me truly laugh, and if it wasn't for his awful temper and racism (which I knew nothing about when we married), we could still be together. But as PAtience said, he is a selfish man who I don;t think can love anyone really but himself. It's all about self pity.
Oh and then today I've put all the wedding photos on fb and this evening I get a pm from exbf saying "Just to say you look lovely in your photos and I'm sorry that things are the way they are and well, oh bugger". I must admit that this made me feel pretty good cos I'm still missing him and still in love with him really, even though I know he's a selfish git but it just made me feel better, knowing that he can see what he's missing. Northumbrian pipe player ethereal beauty I ain't but at least tonight he's regretting it. Horrible to feel like this but I'm glad he is cos I've cried so many tears over him and he's not worth it.

And do you know, it's all about being CHERISHED ladies. We all deserve to find someone who will cherish us. And this means a bloke who shows us he loves us by doing little thoughtful things not by spouting shit.

Yes Patience those three phases sound familiar! Xh asked me again today to drop the cases pending. He said he'd lost a job he was after securing over it (they did a police check) & is now afraid he'll also lose current job. He's also told me his solicitor thinks he'll get jail. Police did already advise me that this was a possibility. However, I still have no choice but to go ahead as xh is so unpredictable & mentally unstable at times, I can't take the risk that if he ever did anything again in the future & I'd dropped current charges then of course I can't ring police again!! He's also worried that it'll end up in papers which just shows how far down the ladder he's gone as previously he'd have been able to have it blocked. Just wish it was all over with though, dread the thought of court again!!

Goo, that is v sad about xh staying with someone who doesn't love dc's. I equally can't understand how someone could settle for living like that. It's true sad & all as it might be at times I would a million times over prefer to never again to be with another man then to be with someone who didn't love me completely. Yes, nice to know exbf is realising what he gave up. However don't forget he is a selfish self centred git!! Just in case you're tempted back Just trying to protect you from your weaker self as it were