What do your parents disapprove of about you?

[LynetteScavo]

My mother disapproves of me drinking alcohol.

She disapproves of me doing the RICA course. (even thought she doesn't know I'm doing it and thinks it's just me chatting with the priest in the presbytery -she is very anti Catholic, but would never admit it)

She disapproves of me staying up late (after 10 pm, even though she is seldom in bed before midnight, if not 1am)

She disapproves (nay, is shocked, so she tells me) of me giving my DC drinks whenever they say they are thirsty. Because in her day, you only got something if you were competing in sport, and that was only a thin piece of orange to suck on.

Some sad posts on this thread, makes me realise I'm very lucky to have the parents I have....they probably disapprove of things, but generally keep it to themselves if the do, they lead me live my own life, if there are concerns we talk about them and help each other to reach understandings, or at the very least acceptance. I know (as they have been too many times to mention) they are there when I need them, especially over the last year or so. I heart my mam and dad, and my ds loves his nana and pops, they are the most wonderful grandparents and we're all very close. I do appreciate them, and my wonderful brothers....but this thread has made me realise, and be even more thankful. Hope I don't sound patronising...I don't mean to.

DM doesn't approve of me:

• painting and decorating in scruffy clothes (she'd probably have me in a ballgown or LBD up a ladder painting)
• doing voluntary work (apparently it's not a 'proper' job because it's not paid)
• DH (DM doesn't like him now, because he told her he wasn't happy with the kids getting sweets so close to mealtimes and she felt humiliated by it)
• our DC's haircuts - they're never good enough.
• the names we chose for our kids
• the way we parent our kids too.

There are loads of other things which she doesn't approve of but it's be a boring old rant.

My dad has never come to terms with me having had my ears pierced. Once, each side. Aged 19.

My mum disapproves of me talking about 'stuff' in front of DS1. Stuff can be anything she thinks will upset him, but her criteria for what might upset him is PFB-crazy. She also thinks I use the internet too much while pregnant/bf, and that this will 'damage' DSs.

That's about all, I think. Oh, I think she thinks I ought to try putting DS2 down more often, but she doesn't like hearing him howl any more than I do. Other than that, she approves of my co-sleeping, long-term breastfeeding and general lentil-weaverage.

The only thing my mother really disapproves of is that I chose to marry someone of a different nationality and live in his country and so me and her grandchildren are thousands of miles away from her and can't see her all the time. She does like/love DH, but she hates that we live here so far away so she is always a little annoyed with him for keeping her away from her daughter and grandchildren.

I miss her a lot too, FWIW. :(

My dad disapproves of DD2 going to nursery. They both disapprove of me having a cleaner.

Sadly both parents have now passed away but my mother only really used to disapprove of my nights out with the girls - or to be more precise the state I often came home in and the fact that I would sit out in the sun at every opportunity. Probably both very sensible - but it's MY life and my choice! Years ago she also disapproved of me running around without shoes all the time but I think she just gave up on that one eventually. There may have been several other issues but she never let on .

...apparently I divorced my first DH ,.. and thats it.

the rest of me is finished....grrhh!
Mind you, she is got vascular dementia, now so agonna!!

Oh, and I don't wash up properly. She has a different mad way of rinsing.

And get this, she thinks I put DS1 to bed too early! She thinks parents nowdays 'tidy away' their DC too soon, so as to selfishly enjoy the evening to themselves. (he goes at about 7.30. He is 3.)

DH (who she disapproves of) sat hugging me on the sofa while I bawled my eyes out last night after a telephone conversation with her. I've never been able to do right for doing wrong.
Despite a loving husband, 3 wonderful children and a PT job teaching ICT in a primary school, I am somehow a massive disappointment to both her and my father.
Delighted I found this thread today. Some have made me chuckle, but I'm glad it's not just me.

Dear dad disapproves of everything I do in relation to his dear darling grandson.

Love my dad to bits but really hard to bite my Tongue when I get shouted at for trying to be assertive - as he asked me to be.

Also been to occupational therapist this week with ds and he won't take on board the recommendations. Neither will my dh either.

Dear mother says nothing. She had been there done that with me unfortunately father takes more interest in ds than he did me when I was growing up.

Reshape my mom thinks it's crazy that I put DS to bed at 7:30 too! He's not quite four, doesn't nap, and is a bear without enough sleep, so it's perfectly sensible, but apparently way too early for her tastes. As if that matters!

Aren't people interesting....loads of the complaints cancel each other out, if you put them together. Early bedtimes V late bedtimes, having a cleaner V scrofulous house, etc etc.....you start to wonder who's right.

My own mother actually disapproves of nothing if you ask her - it's just that in her day.......mothers did without luxuries so that they didn't need to go out to work!

and also, didn't you know, it's a PROVEN SCIENTIFIC FACT that children up to aged 5 need their mothers at home all the time and suffer from deprivation leading to all this modern delinquency when sent to nurseries, childminders and the rest?

My mum disapproves of me doing anything that doesn't involve her. Woe betide me and my sister if we do anything that doesn't involve my mum. Oh and wanting to get a job, but she's lovely and helps me out in so many ways so I just rise above it.

My dad disapproves of DH, he told my sister about 13 years ago when I'd been with DH for about 3 years, "She'll never get anywhere if she stays with him". Also disapproves of most of my parenting techniques, the way I handle my finances etc. But again he helps me out loads so I rise above it.

I think my mum thinks I am totally mad to think about taking 6mth old DS to Glastonbury but she's far too nice to say.

gosh. i am going through crappy crappy divorce at moment and forced to remain in Australia where I have only been for three years BUT feel blessed that my parents whilst they may in fact disapprove of many things (not least I married a knob) they don't tell me that and are supportive and tell me how talented and beautiful and capable and what a wonderful mother I am (none withstanding my Dad did say 'its a shame you aren't a bit younger as then you would have had the opportunity to meet someone else and have more children - I am 40 he may have a point). they also tell me I look beautiful when I see them on skype despite the fact I know my current stress levels have turned me into a scraggy, skinny, wrinkled, care ridden old hag at the moment! God love them.

Nothing (or maybe they do but do not let on), even though I am far from perfect but they are great supportive parents!

my sexuality!

absolutely everything and always has been the case..
but the main...
that i was never a secretary (their dated ambition for me in the 80s when i was going through college)
that i never married a rich merchant banker or similar
That i can't produce grandchildren for her in this country (or any country, come to that) (my brother has kids but lives other side of world - we never hear the last of it)
that i have no washing machine (no room, and can't afford a new one right now)
that my fiance's work is erratic (on/off)
that i didn't get married when i said i would
etc etc etc etc...

I think she is disappointed that her girls didn't turn into the feminist revolutionaries she wanted to be.

So absolutely everything I have ever done that won't lead to being a feminist revolutionary.

She is another terrible parent though.

My mum used to express her disapproval of loads of things - most recently that I'll be going back to work ft less than a year after the little one is born. But she works so hard to tell me how much she approves of me. She got over a lot of things, coming round to my way of thinking quite often, which I find pretty incredible. And she told me she realised recently that the whole not-going-back-to-work-thing was based on her own abandonment issues (her parents used to regularly leave her in places, like the hotel room abroad when she was a little toddler, then go out all night without arranging any childcare).
Very decent woman, excellent mother despite deeply ingrained oddness. I realise now how lucky I am, and will give her a ring...

nothing. I am very lucky. They tell me how proud they are of me- I am mid 50s and they are mid 80s.