What do your parents disapprove of about you?

[LynetteScavo]

My mother disapproves of me drinking alcohol.

She disapproves of me doing the RICA course. (even thought she doesn't know I'm doing it and thinks it's just me chatting with the priest in the presbytery -she is very anti Catholic, but would never admit it)

She disapproves of me staying up late (after 10 pm, even though she is seldom in bed before midnight, if not 1am)

She disapproves (nay, is shocked, so she tells me) of me giving my DC drinks whenever they say they are thirsty. Because in her day, you only got something if you were competing in sport, and that was only a thin piece of orange to suck on.

Where to start?

I'm not a SAHM
I don't scrub my house top to bottom every day
My husband does most of the housework (while I swan about getting myself useless qualifications and earning a better living than my DH)
I went to University (women shouldn't be educated)
I don't let my oldest DS get away with murder because of his SN
I'm not a size 6 like my sisters
I don't buy super expensive furniture and spend every spare penny creating a show home, I prefer to spend extra money on having a life.
I dress modestly (I think), my mum thinks I should look like an essex tart because I'm in my twenties
I moved to a nice area in my town instead of living within a minutes walk like the rest of my family so they can't keep an eye on me every single day.

I could go on...and on....and on.....and on...

The occasional swearing and that I (unwillingly) kill plants - she's got amazing green hands and I (obvioulsy ) don't...
She's an angel and I adore her.

My dad on the other side thinks and tells me that I'm fat, that I don't know how to keep DP interested and that he'll cheat on me, and also that I'm not a good mother

I am very for my mum that she decided she has to put up with my dad

Mine disapprove that:

DH and I do not yet have children - we ought not to leave it too late!
DH and I would like children - it is far too soon!
DH and I don't own our own place!
I don't recognize my own academic limitations
I don't think academic skills are the only judging criterion
I object to coming home at Christmas in order to cook and clean while dad and my brothers enjoy the food
I don't get DH's dinner on the table as he walks in the door
In fact, I sometimes let him cook. And shop!
I earn more than DH
I have occasionally mentioned that giving a baby a dummy is not child abuse.
I wear makeup and spend money on clothes.
I'm bisexual.
Some of my friends are gay

I could go on.

The positive spin is, there's no way I'll ever please them on all those counts so may as well just roll my eyes and get on with it my way!

That I like to buy nice food, and dont like my children eating crap is our main clashing point. She s very happy that she can stock up on a months work of value food for £100, and I am happy for her, but she thinks I am a snob because I shop at Waitrose.

That I dont beat smack and make the children run round like little slaves (like she did)

Ooh, everything.

Everything I buy. Sometimes I buy white bread. Horrific, eh? I also buy standard wholewheat pasta for 79p for 500g or similar. She wants me to buy organic buckwheat pasta for £3 per 500g. I keep explaining that we can't afford this.

Yesterday, she followed me around Sainsbury's, and she surpassed herself when I picked up some kiwi fruit. "But you don't like kiwi fruit!", she said accusingly.

My mother seems to think being female equates to self-sacrificing martyrdom. She disapproves of me ever spending money or time on myself.

That I spend money on things I like
That I like sex
That I don't smack my DS
That I let my DH cook for us all of the time

All apply to my mother- my father is a love.

being unmarried with kids

young with kids

fat
ugly

My mum disapproves of mixing my laundry, refusing to empty bins (that's DH's job ), having power sockets in the bathroom (how else does DH use an electric razor?), caffeine and the fact that I use a sun bed.

Think that's about it...

Oh, the snacking thing was big with my parents too. They have come around to my way of thinking though.

I think my dad was secretly thinking my DS would turn into a monster without a good smack...

That fact that I don't want children. Actually I do but they don't know that as I'd get no end of harassment over when!

That I'm not 'high-flying' enough. I have a good degree and am doing well in a professional career that I love and am a higher-rate taxpayer but I am not a high-flyer apparently. My father thinks I should change career accordingly. (Don't mean to sound smug re my earnings by the way - just pointing out that by the measures of happiness and salary, most people would think I AM flying high enough!)

Apparently I'm aggressive. I'm not - I am simply confident and stick up for myself. I don't go around beating people up, shouting or swearing or whatever!

That I did take DH's surname. My mother took my father's name but apparently I shouldn't take DH's

That DH and I don't save enough money. Well we think we do - we have a healthy balance of making sensible provision for the future whilst also enjoying life.

Our choice of car.

I could go on!!!!!! After all my parents do.

I didn't stay in the very small country town where I grew up, marry a local boy and live next door to her
I have spent the last 13 years travelling and living in other countries and have had a fab time doing it
I live in a different country with her only grandchild
I married a foreigner
I am not a racist and challenge anyone who is, especially at family gatherings
I went to university and think I am better than everyone else and has actually told me this repeatedly (only one on both sides of the family to have gone thought she might have been proud)
I don't live in the real word, actually I just don't live in her world
I am not negative like her and don't share any of her negative views about the world. I know everyone is not out to 'get me' and it will not all turn into shite in the end
I have never asked her for anything financially or been dependent on her in anyway since leaving home
I have a very happy marriage with a husband that co parents 50-50, cooks, cleans etc. (she really cannot get her head around this as this didn't happen in 'her day'). She thinks this is VERY odd and always comments about it.

The list could go on. We are totally different people and do not understand each other at all.

I am amazed reading all of these!!!!

What critical Mothers (in particular) you all have!

Mind you, you can bet anything when talking to thier friends and aquaintances you are praised to the hills and all and sundry know whar capable and wonderful daughters they have

Both my parents think I'm pretty ace

Over the years they've had periods of mild disappointment that I didn't use my qualifications to work my way into a high-flying high-paying career - but this was more about them somehow thinking I wasn't happy with what I was doing and selling myself short. My mum despairs over my lack of interest in finding a nice man and settling down; but again, I think it's because she worries that being perpetually single/only having casual DPs makes me unhappy (it doesn't, not one bit!) than her disapproving.

Reading some of the horrible answers here, I feel humbly lucky and blessed that I can honestly say my parents don't mind much what I do (though maybe murder and cannibalism would be exceptions) or who I am, as long as I'm happy, capable and well-adjusted doing it.

Watching Doctor Who with the children. It is supposedly "dreadful" and will "give them nightmares."

Spending money "jetting off" to see friends all round the country (not that we do this all that often). We should be "cultivating the friends who live nearby", apparently...

Never said out loud, but I do sense disapproval of "drink".

Oh, and the fact that, unlike her, we are not signed up to the "Sir Norman Tonsil Bring Back Hanging and The Rack and Send Home All Those With a Touch of the Tarbrush In Them Democratic Party"...

My mum seems to have never learnt the life lesson that just because someone doesn't do things the way you do doesn't mean they're wrong. Therefore she disapproves of pretty much everything I do. We've been getting on a lot better since I realised it wasn't personal!

Oh I forgot...
We are vegetarians and are abusing our child because we don't eat/cook meat

oldwomaninashoe..
I spent many years trying to work out how I could please this woman. Always feeling anxious and having 'a knot in my stomach' when she visited or when I saw her.
One day I had an epiphany, these are her issues not mine (there are millions of others) and since then I have ceased to care what she thinks. It is very sad as she is my mum but I could not have anything to do with her daily life.
She picks apart every decision I make, makes fun of my choices, gossips about me etc.
This is not how mothers should behave, it has taken me a long time to figure this out and I pray I don't have this relationship with my daughter

The only things my mum ever disapproved of were me nearly failing my degree (cue the hardest 6 months of studying I've ever done) and my ex-wife... but she didn't say a bad word about her until we'd split up. Reading the rest of this thread makes me realise yet again how wonderful my parents are.

My parents think we need a phone on the first floor. That is the only "critcism" Ive had from them about our lifestyle.

My lovely granny once said to me "you are absolutely perfect except for your hair and your handwriting"

Dad walked out when I was 12 because he couldn't stand my Mother's nagging any more. I wish I had gone with him, he loved me and I loved him. Instead I didn't see him for years.

Then Mother and I pretty much ran the poultry unit between us until I went off to college. She would go off most weekends to see friends leaving me all the birds to feed and clean. She hated just about everything about me. I would be fined meals if I did things minor things wrong (ie go hungry) and anything more serious meant she took me to the woodshed to knock me around. As in knock me over, pick me up by my hair then knock me over again: all the time shouting a list of my faults.

Now she is old, ill, on her own and a long way away. Long may it stay that way.

That I am not my SIL - 'the daughter I should have had' according to my mother

Pretty much everything according to my mum - my weight, my hair, my car, my housekeeping skills, the fact that DP and I share the ironing and cleaning rather than me looking after him, and this week's gem, that I told DP in a jokey and affectionate way whilst having my leg pulled at the dinner table, to 'shut uuuuuup' as she doesn't like bad language.

And she still thinks we have a great relationship... ... I just smile and nod.

To my Dad, however, I am wonderful.

But i think he took his hearing aids out a long time ago so he got some peace and quiet, so doesn't have a clue

My mum disapproves of me spending too much time reading made-up garbage on mumsnet.