The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Giving Up Booze For Lent.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse.

We are a Bus load of posters with various relationships with the demon booze. Some are sober, some are not and some are inbetween.

So come say hi and meet the rest of The Babes, there's always plenty of room on the Bus, the doors are ALWAYS open.

No judgy pants are worn on this journey, pants yes and even the odd Tena Lady but always of the non judging variety.

Previous Threads

Hello babes. It's amazing how bad one can of beer can make you feel when you're not used to alcohol anymore Probably not helped by the baby waking every hour, on the hour all night.

The daycare that my daughter goes to had a "Spring party" yesterday evening. it was just for an hour in the park, the children all sang songs and then there were soft drinks and polite chatting. I just can't describe how these events make me feel, somehow they make me feel SUCH a foreigner - I don't know the songs, I can't speak the dialect, social etiquette is subtly different so I'm always on the wrong foot. It sounds like nothing written down, but I am almost crying just thinking about it. I always leave these things wanting to take the next plane home to England.

This morning we have to go to the daycare to discuss DS starting there in June. I am dreading going back to work with every fibre of my being. Probably being a bit pathetic about it, I don't know. Self indulgent, my mum would say.

Ma I live in Switzerland. I am useless at 10 pin bowling too!
Golly I find it hard to keep up too, but it doesn't matter. Just post when you can, what you can. It's good to read how well you are getting on with AA.
Nicky Welcome! Sorry I didn't say hi last night - was a bit self absorbed.
Thurso How are things this morning?

Hi all,

I'm sorry for being selfish and grumpy last night.

Ma thank you for saying "well done on stopping" last night. When I came down from the bath and read it, it made me realise how self-destructive I was being, and instead of pouring another one, I had another cup of tea, and a toasted bagel! So, thanks . Hope DS went to bed eventually!

Wheresmum Welcome!

Maddogs I'm sorry that you feel so homesick. Have you been over there long? Do you get back to England often?

Day off today (hence the wine thinking last night, stupid me!), rotten weather, but at least I'm functional!

Once again, thank you lovely babes, and boybabe, this thread is an absolute lifesaver for me, someone is always around at the right time. Thank you!

Did I mention that yesterday all the downstairs lights fused!, the electrician can't come until Friday afternoon, so I feel like I am in a wartime bunker. And to cap it off, DH said that we have mice in the kitchen!
I laughed , what else to do?

What a pain in the bum that is thurso. Our washing machine has broken down, and it keeps blowing the fuse for all the sockets. Since I am taking responsibility for all the 'stuff' to do with the flat, dp is supposed to be sorting the washing machine. In the main this involves him, getting up most mornings and trying again to see if it works - which of course results in all the sockets going off. For an intelligent man he's bloody stupid sometimes - if it's broken, it's broken, there are no magic washing machine fairies who come in the night and sort the motor!

Conclusion of an engineer is that we need a new one. Fine, not a surprise. Next debate: he wants to save £30 by bringing the new washing machine home ourselves and plumbing it in. This from a man who's approach to the broken one is to try switching it on 4 mornings in a row 'to see if it's sorted'!! He has no idea about plumbing, even if it is as easy as anything, he'll get in a state about it. Not to say anything about trying to manouvre a really heavy bit of equipment around on our own. Then we would have to take the old machine to the recycling centre - yes, 2 people with dodgy backs - that's a good idea . Anyway, that most likely wouldn't get done and the old one would probably sit in the garage for 10 years until we next moved house.

Oh, and in the meantime, I've got no clean clothes.... and I'm away with work from Tuesday next week. Can you tell I'm a bit pissed off about it all? On my way to work today I'm going to drop in to the shop and see about getting a new one. If they can deliver it and fit it before Tuesday it'll be done, if not I'm off the the laundrette. Maybe only with MY clothes - now that would be unkind

Good morning, am in bed with a glass of wine beside me. Hoping it will help me sleep and therefore stop me thinking for a few hours. I know it's stupid, really stupid, but daughter and partner have gone to school/work, and I don't want to face going to work where I am the boss and responsible for so many people. Just want some me time without worry. Will be up and responsible when daughter is back from school. Hate myself, often think how nice it would be not to wake up.

venus!, your dp sounds very like dh, he is about as useful in a domestic crisis as a wet fish!, he learnt his 'skills' from his father - i once asked who had papered the drawing room, 'did you get bodget and scarper in'? fil said i was 'most rude'!

wheresmum - welcome and hi!, please dont worry about miflaw! his intentions are really well meant!, he simply wants you to have what he has, a full, happy, sober life!

im off to the hairdressers this morning, hopefully my lovely colourist will sort out this purple hue my hair seems to have , im looking forward to a couple of hours with a cup of tea and all the wonderful trashy mags!

wheresmum you poor thing, you sound worried and unhappy. But I'm going to be a bit tough here. You are still in a position where you have choices.

You CAN choose now, to get up, pour the wine away, and get on with the day without a drink. I understand what you say about wanting to sleep, wanting a bit of time without the weight of your worries. But you KNOW that when you wake up, all your worries will still be there. Nothing will have changed.

So what can you do instead? Here are some suggestions - get up, clean your teeth with the strongest toothpaste you can find (it will make the wine taste horrid), pour the glass of wine away, pour the rest of the bottle away. Phone work and tell them you can't come in because you are sick. OK Now you've got some me time, and you are not drinking.

Next, find out all the places locally where you can get help. Is there a local alcohol charity, does your docs have a specialist service, where is the nearest AA meeting. Now take action on at least ONE of those. Just call the AA help line, speak to someone, tell someone what a mess you feel you're in. I promise you, even taking this first step will feel a whole lot better than trying to find oblivion. It may be scary, but it is one step. You don't have to take any more steps towards it ever, but taking that one step now IS one step towards 'worry-free me-time'.

Could you try that?

Wheresmum
Gah, just lost a post, but I am so worried about you, doing it again. Sorry it's late.

Please get up, and pour the wine away. You do not want to be drinking in the morning.

You may be up and responsible when DD gets home, but you will feel horrid.

I know the feeling of not wanting to think, although mine strikes at night, but you know as well as I do, that the thinking will still be there when you wake up, but in a nightmareish way.

Do what Venus says, phone in sick, and take today, to start to sort yourself out, even if it's just coming on here, and talking it all out.

I can't bear to think of you, being so unhappy that you want a glass of wine at this time of day, so, sorry if I sound mean.

Please, sweetheart, pour it away.

How are you now? What are you doing?

Hi wheresmum, MIFLAW scared me off too with the AA ranting ( and i doubt we're the only ones), it's like those born again people who can only bang on about jesus however irrelevant it is to you but I still lurk - my advice would be to skip his/her posts completely and just listen to the others - you really sound like you could do with their help. and from what i've seen there are some really brave, honest, helpful people on here.

TWDA I have to say that I take issue with you about MIFLAW.

He doesn't rant, everything he says makes perfect sense, even if it takes a while for one to realise it.

I don't go to AA, but can hardly say it is irrelevant to me, otherwise why would I be on here?

We are all trying to help ourselves, and each other. Let's be nice

Wheresmum how you doing?

Wheresmum hope you have poured the wine away. Now may be your moment to seize this particular demon. What have you got to lose in trying to follow Venus' suggestions.

Venus DH here is not allowed to do plumbing! I find it often works to compare the 'hourly rate' I get charged out at against the possible cost saving like you mentioned. Delivery, installation and removing the dead machine is the way to go.

TWDA I know what MIFLAW contributes can seem challenging but would second Thurso - it is full of sound advice and I am sure he just wants the very best for anyone who posts - particularly if alcohol is a problem. Maybe give his words a second chance?

JWN enjoy your morning at the hairdressers. Also realised that in name changing I hope I have not created any confusion as the initials are not dissimilar.

Morning everyone else and if you are lurking Noteven - I really hope you have the help and support you need and that DD is OK.

Off to get some work done....

Wheresmum

Sorry I scared you off. I'm nothing special, just an ex-drunk who has found a way not to drink any more and be happy about it. Feel free to ignore me if you don't find it helpful.

I do, however, find it an odd to describe saying someone's made an excellent decision and congratulating them as "pouncing on a newbie".

TWDA

I think that, every single time I mention AA, I point out explicitly that it is only what works for me, that this does not mean it will work for everyone, and that there are other ways of stopping drinking. I am sorry that I cannot pretend any of those other ways worked for me in order to make you feel better. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Wheresmum - I'm sorry that you feel so unhappy this morning, but I agree with everything that Venus has said. Please, try to take even one of the little steps that she suggested.

Wheresmum

If you would like to discuss anything off-forum without feeling exposed, feel free to PM me.

If not, fine, I won't take offence, just didn't want to come across as being "in your face".

Maddogs - it doesn't sound trivial at all. I have some experience of the whole living abroad/expat thing, and while it seems idyllic on the surface, feeling a "foreigner" can be very hard work emotionally (not to mention the Swiss ). It's funny what you say about the nursery rhymes, I always found that not having a common language of remembered children's TV programmes made me feel homesick; it's easy to underestimate how much of our own culture makes up our identity, and when you're struggling anyway with everything else you have going on, it's a big bit of security to be missing.

Is there a Mouse in the house?
There is in mine

at Thurso maybe your mouse will like cheese too.

Back in a bit

Maddogs

There is a lovely MNer call MmeLindt who is also an expat in Switzerland. Here is her blog. I know she loves interacting with people - she's a mad twitterer so why not drop her a line?

ladouceviesuisse.blogspot.com/

Thanks for all the welcomes yesterday.

Didn't go too well last night, DH bought a bottle on the way home from work and between the pair of us, consumed it rather quickly. As a result I don't feel clear headed and a bit shameful that I fell at the first hurdle.

Thankfully got a late session at the gym tonight, and then straight to bed.

Thurs, rather you than me regarding the mice. We had one in our bedroom once, I was too scared to sleep til we caught it behind the bedside cabinet.

Helpful list here:
AA GSO Watch AddictionInfo Alcohol Harm Reduction Support Drug Policy Alliance GoodTherapy.org HARM LESS Life Ring My Way Out Non 12-Step Orange Papers Rational Recovery ? Science Based Medicine Secular Organizations for Sobriety (S.O.S.) SMART Recovery(tm) Stanton Peele Stanton Peele on ST The Big Book online The Clean Slate Addiction The Sinclair Method The Skeptic's Dictionary Women for Sobriety X-Steppers

Nicky

Most of us fell at the first hurdle.

Just start again today.

a word of warning though - this thread is brilliant but there's no wizards on it. The urge to drink isn't going to go away by magic. It will be around for a few days; and, possibly for a while after that, the DESIRE to drink (not the same thing at all, but easy to confuse) will be with you at peak moments.

Only you can overcome the urge and the desire, and the only way to do that is by saying "no" to the first drink.

Not nagging you, honestly - like I say, it took me a while to get this and I know what it's like. But don't expect things just to happen and don't get disheartened - it can be difficult, but it's not impossible.

Happy, as ever, to PM if anything is confusing.

oh im so sorry!!, my first post this morning looks like i have totally ignored WM!

WHERESMUM - i promise that you can do this!, i can hear echoes of my first posts in what you are saying, honest to go, if can do this then ANYONE can!

stick with us - about to pm you!

honest to god' and 'if i can etc! - one of those mornings!, dont ask!

[shocked] Well,

DH just phoned, his boss has taken him out to a la-di-dah restaurant in Brighton for lunch, to say thank you for getting all his deals completed by the end of the financial year, and doing a good job, he is jubilant.
I am also very pleased..... pass me a gun someone... I don't know if I'm going to shoot him or myself first!