The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Giving Up Booze For Lent.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse.

We are a Bus load of posters with various relationships with the demon booze. Some are sober, some are not and some are inbetween.

So come say hi and meet the rest of The Babes, there's always plenty of room on the Bus, the doors are ALWAYS open.

No judgy pants are worn on this journey, pants yes and even the odd Tena Lady but always of the non judging variety.

Previous Threads

oh algee!!!, what venus said, and a big ole (((((((((hug))))))))) too!, you soppy thing!, you know you can do it!, just pick yourself up and start again! one thing though, i do remember you saying how you didnt want dd to associate you with the smell of sour whiskey - try and keep that thought in mind if you pour another one!

Algee

Are you double sure there are no meetings near your work? Perhaps you could attend on the way home and save the travel time.

Hey Algee

Big Hugs to you! As JWN said, just pick yourself up and dust yourself off, ODAAT

Keep posting to us, anyway you'd be prepared to come clean to your DH, fess up and ask him for help to get back on the path?

Just home from work, and phoned FIL. totally pissed again, incoherent. Have had to call my mum to come and look after the kids tonight so that i can get to a meeting. Just feel desparately sad for him. DD wants us to go round there and help him, but I cannot keep dropping everything to run around after him every time he does this, and the frequency is getting more and more and more. Once a week to twice a week to 4 days this week. Feel sad and helpless, but I can only help him if he wants help .

Hope everyone else is good

Afternoon all,

I was having a bit of think on the drive to college this morning, about all the stuff on here last night, and hope you don't mind if I write it down.

When I found this thread some months ago, it was because one morning in the depths of a hangover, I trawled the web, in shame and misery, looking for a way out of the vicious circle I was in. I was very lucky and came upon this thread, which I looked at for a few days.

Then, a few days later, when I looked again, again in the depths of a killer hangover, and having admitted to DH at about 5 in the morning, that I really felt I had a problem, but not wanting to go to AA, (why? don't know, but I'm more likely to now I'm more sober for some reason, but still have the panic stations in my tummy when I think about, so won't be going yet)), and came upon a post that upset me greatly, even though it was clearly labelled not for new babes, to take notice of.

Well, I did take notice, and in my state of feeling so bad about myself, i posted an angry reply, which got some angry replies in response. I left mumnet, then came back on with a different name (not very though), because I was very upset, that I had upset people, and then talked.......and talked.

I'm trying to say, that I think in the main, the first time people post on here, no, I'll just talk about myself, the first time I came on here, I felt vulnerable, ashamed, and didn't know what to do, and that is why I reacted so strongly, to words that, actually have proved a turning point for me.
"Get a life" some might say, and that may well be true of me , but I know that there was no-one in RL that I was prepared to admit my sorrow to, apart from DH, and that just wasn't enough, for whatever reason.

I also think, or know that I am probably guilty of talking to people who were on here, when I first came on, as friends, more than I do the the new babes, and I sincerely apologise for that. I can only say that the first few days after I admitted I had a problem, to myself and DH were very hard, and the babes who were on here then, talked me through all the self-recrimination that I endlessly did, and I feel very close to them ( maybe especially that 1st poster, you know who you are ).

I've turned myself abit inside out writing this post, and I don't know if it makesany sense, and I'm certainly not the greatest success story, but much, much better, feeling better about myself than I was.
I have also been able to talk about a lot of other stuff, other than drink, which hashelped me a lot, again "Get a life" some might say, but there just is no-one in RL, I could talk to (or burden with, sorry babes), about so much.

Just, thanks everyone AND a big welcome to all new babes, we were all new once, even JWN (a bit like her shoes ), and how brave was that post?

Ok I'm not going to pre-view this, or re-read

P.s presentation went fab

Phew, X posted, a lot!!!

sodding bum...just lost my post.
venus i am stupid though...picture naughty dog sneaking sidelong glances as if to say 'go on then, stop me'! Deceit fraeks me out, thought I'd got over that one, but still alive and kicking.
JWN yes, I remember too, yet i still think that dh none the wiser, like he has no nose or something.
mifla, yeah certain, whilst on my god roll (which lasted ages incidentally) i looked but we're more rural than rural hee, and work takes meeven further into rural-dom. Good thing though in that it makes access to plonk much harder...
bafana, so sorry about fil, horrifying to imagine our loved ones daeling with this...but then here we are.
thurso...glad you've found a home here. I started finding all of the concversations too hard to follow so dropped off; not really into chatting about my stuff (other than the obvious!) so felt a bit useless when chatty stuff was going on.
look at me though, I'm in a spot of bother, and am back for help.
Going to tough this out chaps. wish me strong.

'scuse typos, read between the errors. at least it proves i'm not drunk, drunk typing is always perfect!

I remember that day and how I upset you thurso. BUT, I'm not sorry that I did, because you came back! Thank (insert whoever you may of may not believe in) that you did.

You have become a very dear friend to me, both on this thread and off. Who'd have thought it eh?

And you are right, your last post is amazing. From the outside this thread looks uber cliquey and there are one or five regulars that post every day, ahem.

Yes, over time we all get to know each other, no newbie will always be a newbie because people get on and off the bus all of the time.

There's no rules on here, apart from no personal attacks which is a MNHQ talk rule anyway, no-one is out to be a viper and upset another poster. Well, not that I've seen of late.

We are all at different stages of sobriety, and we always will be. But we all have real lives too and, that's what keeps me here.

Knowing that I can come on and talk about DD, or Nemo or DH or the pain I'm in etc..... and I love reading about others too.

Like today, thurso doing the presentation etc.... gearing up for it and NOT hitting the bottle big time! Well done you!

Or posters popping back in to share stories of how far they have got, how long they've been sober, how their life has changed. It's fab to read.

And even when we have posters who are struggling, the way that this Bus pulls together, to rally round and help another poster out, talk to them, comfort them and sit for hours just listening and trying to help.

For me, that is what The Brave Babes Battle Bus journeys are all about. And long may they continue.

And there endith the sermon of Mouse

Hello algee - sorry that you are struggling again. I remember you from the very first few posts. It's lovely to see you back here again, but not that you are struggling.

:-) clutching (crushing) glass of N&T with ice and a slice. It's like there's been some kind of weird fold in time thing going on...odaat.

sending lots and lots of positive vibes to you algee, you can do this

hmm, i have been thinking about yesterday as well - i think the thing that pissed me off more than anything was the accusation of the thread being 'cliquey' - i have NEVER seen a new face go unanswered or welcomed and yesterday i did something i never do and sent my mobile number after reading the first post - it sounded do desperate and so sad and reminded me so much of how i felt when i first posted that i cried - now, NO ONE ever has to call me just because i send my number, im not that fucking important or so clever i have all the bloody answers, NO ONE should feel they are being threatened, and NO ONE should feel like they cant say and share anything they want to!

i will defend our bus and its babes - i have told miflaw to shut up more than once, but i wont have someone question his motives in such a nasty underhanded way - being an alkie is no excuse for being horrible, in fact, its one of the things that should be pointed out if we going to be honest and stay honest!

doh!, 'un-welcomed', trust me to cock up teh important part of the sentence!

I'd like to see you swing me round and round, little Mouse

I'd give it a go thurso just to show you how bloody fab you are. xx

JWN - I think that was what got to me the most, the MIFLAW bashing. Again.

Anyway, it's Friday night, DH is away, DD has vanished to her room, and Nemo is using me as his own personal bouncy castle!

Is it bedtime yet??

Well I've been ignoring all the 'stuff' but I did think about whether we are clique-y.

In some of my real life I do lots of management-y things about communication and one of the things that is interesting is how quickly any group of people in any set of circumstances develop short-hand ways of talking about things, which all makes perfect sense to them, but which means nothing to others, and which helps to re-inforce feelings of being part of a group. So on here we talk about "N&T" or "Gerald" or "Nemo" and it must be tough for anyone new coming along to understand. We call isindebetterplace "wasindie", we know that JWN is glamorous, and we know some deeply personal stuff about some us, including some scary things like the towns we live in, and even sometimes our real names.

I know from looking at other bits of mn that there are some threads I don't even go and look at - I don't know what IPOAT means, I don't understand all the Nobdie posts, I don't look at the 'we took you to stately homes' thread, and sometimes the reason I don't look at threads like that is not that they are not interesting or possibly even relevent to me, but it's because they seem like an existing group and it's too scary to try and join (yes, even on an anonymous internet forum).

So yes, I can accept that other people might find the 'Brave Babes' cliquey. That said, I look on here more than I post, and I always try to respond to anybody who is posting new. I remember so clearly how scared I was about posting, and how I nearly cried with relief and simultaneously died of shame when people responded. I do recognise absoloutely that whilst this series of multiple threads has been a life saver for me, there are others for whom this is not the answer, and not even part of it. I therefore keep a look out in other threads about alcohol and I post if i think that I can say anything remotely useful - NOT to try and 'recruit' people to this thread (that would be uber-cliquey) but to let them know that there is someone who understands. I have seen people post on other sections of mn and get some really well-intentioned advice, but occasionally advice which would not have helped me when I was in the midst of my shameful alcoholic behaviour.

In conclusion, I do think that there is a risk that any group of people who are communicating regularly might appear like a clique to others. However I also think that for many of us, the nature of being a problem drinker is such that as soon as people start to share on here, we all pile in and post 'oh god, me too - I thought I was the only one'. We post things that we are most ashamed of, and find out that someone else has done something similar. In that sense I hope that however 'new' someone feels, it is not long before they know that they are at least posting in a place where others understand what they are going through.

What venus said too.

Much better said Venus, will you be my mentor?

How do you do inflexions on here?

Evening

What's all the argy bargy about then? Fwiw, the person who tried to put me off going to AA via PM has posted on this thread a couple of times now. I have no idea what his/her motivation is because s/he doesn't appear to want to give any explanation for the posts. If you want to know who it was feel free to PM me, as I'm not convinced that it isn't malicious.

I haven't felt excluded by a clique at all on this thread. I've only been on it regularly for just over two weeks and have been welcomed quite nicely, thanks

I haven't been to a meeting since wednesday and really ought to go to one tonight but I'm planning on going to one first thing in the morning so I'm hoping and enormous chinese takeout will be enough to keep me on the sofa for the evening. I'm not going to drink today, so I'll be ok, right?

Me neither, Golly (felt excluded, I mean). Took a bit of doing (a) to post that I was drinking too much and (b) to jump into an established group, but from the first time I posted no-one has ever made me feel that I was anything but welcome.

Enjoy the takeaway (must be enormous if it's going to keep you pinned to the sofa

I feel very much still a "new babe" or a lurker. I have never taken offence at anything MIFLAW has said to me. As someone else said, (someone a lot wiser than me) he holds a mirror up to the truth of your drinking and if like me you find yourself on this thread, the image isn't going to be pretty.
I don't have the time with a 4 yr old and a yr old to attempt to be one of the "in crowd" and anyway, I suspect I am nowhere near witty or interesting enough.
That said, everyone has been great when I have reached out for help. I have taken the various pieces of advice on board (mainly from the "proper" alcoholics like myself who will never ever be able to have a glass or two and leave it at that) and continue to lurk.
I hope the new babes keep posting. The more experiences we share, the stronger we can be.

Luci

Hi luci good to know you're around x

Evening all. sorry hanging on like a hangy on thing. So glad to see such positive stuff being posted, feel ill at ease adding my thoughts as I'm here so rarely, so i won't... this is a safe haven in y experience though.

Sorry to say snuck a cheeky vodka into my tonic whilst dh choppingwood. now on my 5th measure, algee measure that is, not recognised by any standardising authority. What on earth??

Reaching out so trying not to feel hopeles, as clearly the desire is there, but feeling hopeles nonetheless. Life no better, no worse than yesterday, had many good months, but feel like i'm back to square one.

Algee, if it helps you, then post. Even if it doesn't feel like it's helping, post anyway. You're not back to square one; the fact that you are reaching out for help is a positive in itself. I know when I get going I have a "sod you, in for a penny, in for a pound" type mentality, but can you just stop now, leave it at what you've had, and go to bed?

If meetings are not possible, could you email or phone AA tonight?

I know someone will be along with much better help soon, but I couldn't read and run.