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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

really weird phone call

149 replies

livinginthesticks · 08/03/2011 20:44

Hi, I live on my own with my DS and today got a phone call from a company called 'swingers uk' who said they were ringing to confirm a party booking, made in my name and from my phone number and from my address for some party involving S&M and anal. I got really freaked out by it and can't understand it at all. They said the call was made on a date about 2 weeks ago by phone at a time when I would either have just been back from work or my mum would have been here looking after my DS.

There is a man in my life who I've just had a big row with and I wondered if he could have done some nasty prank but they said it was 2 weeks ago that the 'booking' was made so unless he got them to say that it doesn't ring true.

I have looked back at my emails and web browsing on that date but again nothing and apparently it was by phone.

I don't know what to think?

OP posts:
FaffTastic · 09/03/2011 01:03

Ummm, I agree with everything that JeremyVile said and I'm a womanSmile.

I agree with others and I would just try to treat this as a one-off at the moment, and see what the police say/do. If it was this man who was pissed off - making a call like this seems a very immature and extreme reaction to the situation. Plus, you said ( I think?) that it was a female on the phone - not only would he have to be crazy enough to even think of this idea, he would have to find a willing female to be crazy enough to make the prank call on his behalf.

Not for all the money in the world could any male friend of mine, no matter how scorned they felt, could convince me to make a call like this on their behalf! Not even if I was extremely pissed or rewinding some years I was an immature teenager.

FWIW, i recieved a number of anonomous texts last year - my mind was going into overdrive and I suspected one or two people that I knew. It turned out to be none of them, it was a stranger. But its natural to jump to conclusions, which seem really rational at the time, in situtations like this.

P.S Don't post it on FB!!

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 09/03/2011 04:14

How old is your son?

garlicbutter · 09/03/2011 04:38

Surely some of you have heard of prank calls? Here's one firm that does them - there are loads. They're very clever - most (all?) of them use robots, but you'd never guess! (You can catch them out by saying totally unrelated things.) One of the teams I used to work with were very fond of sending these.

They can cause a lot of distress, as you can see by reading some of the ads, but they're mostly used for wind-ups, not maliciously.

IngridBergmann · 09/03/2011 07:12

He's trying to save face, what a weirdo though if it involves a prank call. I am so sorry for you, what a completely horrible thing to have done to you.

I would log it with the police at this stage. they can investigate but won't contact him unless you want them to. But should be able to find out the number that booked it.

Delete this wanker from facebook and have nothing more to do with him. I think you respond to his last text saying Okay, I understand, or something - so he looks like he is the one who finished it (thatw as the point of Sunday - to make a big song and dance about anything, basically, and you did nothing to deserve being dumped btw - you just couldn't sleep - so he could pretend to himself/ his mates/ whatever that HE was the one to finish it.

He just didn't like being dumped by YOU, so he came round to get ammunition to turn it around and say HE is having second thoughts.

From someone that immature I'd not be surprised about the joke call. forget it - don't stress, don't post it on FB, get rid of him from FB NOW, and don't talk to him again.

btw on Sunday, did he come round unexpectedly? Or did you invite him? I think that's relevant - you don't want him turning up again.

Please be careful in future, not to get pressured into anything physical too soon. It is OK to wait till you know and trust someone. Anyone who tries to get you to sleep with them from the off needs dumping immediately.

Good luck x

boxingHelena · 09/03/2011 09:55

LittleMissHissyFit Tue 08-Mar-11 20:48:49
Me thinks he has a GF who has just found out about you...

that what I thought too
I really doubt that even if such company existed they would disclose so much information to a woman who clearly doesnt know fa

boxingHelena · 09/03/2011 09:56

and I clearly had read only the first page Blush

Mouseface · 09/03/2011 10:05

I have to say that you are out of order for telling this bloke that you're just not into him 'in that way' and then sleep with him the same night.

Don't you think that's out of order?

No wonder he's having secods thoughts about seeing you, and I bet it has nothing to do with the sleepless night.

Nor do I think it's him behind the call.

Anniegetyourgun · 09/03/2011 10:11

It may be nothing at all to do with the guy or it may be his idea of a joke. Aren't there tv programmes that make stupid calls like this under the delusion that they're funny? A group of my mates at school used to ring random local numbers and say weird stuff for a laugh too. We were about 13 at the time iirc and they grew out of it soon after.

It's probably just as well you've logged it with the police in case it happens again, but over the top to pursue it further at this stage IMO.

loopylou6 · 09/03/2011 10:17

I agree with garlic, it does sound like one of those prank call things. I would Google key words from the phone call and chances are it will bring up company details iyswim?

loopylou6 · 09/03/2011 10:18

Also agree with Mousey, why tell him he doesn't do it for you sexually then sleep with him? Confused

boxingHelena · 09/03/2011 10:26

.... so you did have ''that'' conversation after all OP........

livinginthesticks · 09/03/2011 13:24

yes I did and this is how it turned out...

OP posts:
JessicaDrew · 09/03/2011 13:35

shame you didn't double bluff the caller and ask how may were coming to the party so you could buy in wine and snacks!!!!

Themumsnot · 09/03/2011 13:47

It was probably these people There's a swinger's one halfway down the list. Looks like the person paying for it can listen in as well. Nice. My money's on your ex-boyfriend.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 09/03/2011 14:55

Themumsnot

OP received a phone call on (I assume) her landline, not a text to her mobile phone.

Not entirely sure you can 'listen in' to a text message? "Watch the fun" would presumably refer to you being with them when they receive the text and seeing their reaction.

zikes · 09/03/2011 15:07

Oh, looking at that site TheMumsnot suggested, apparently they're legally obligated to tell you who set up the prank.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 09/03/2011 15:19

Yes but the OP didn't receive a text, she got a phone call.

The prank phone call sites don't seem to have the same legal obligations for some reason.

Plus I can't find any that do that sort of prank call (which would be a recorded message rather than a rel person anyway).

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 09/03/2011 16:28

This will be a prank of some sort. Real swingers' clubs might well call someone to confirm a party booking but they would make very sure they were talking to the person who had actually made the booking before they started talking about S&M and anal. It's hardly in their interests to scare or distress or offend people, is it?

As to the prank, it may have been a complete stranger perpetrating it eg someone who dials random numbers and winds up whoever answers, making a note of anyone whose reaction is particularly gratifying so they can ring again later. PLease don't get too worried about it unless they call again.

Themumsnot · 09/03/2011 17:13

Sorry, I see now the one I found is a text-based one. I think it is quite likely it was a phone-based version of that though.

JeremyVile · 09/03/2011 17:18

Oh yes, totally could be one of those robot prank calls. Didnt think of that at all.

(I'm not a man btw...what, can't a laydeee call herself Jeremy now?? Grin)

NonnoMum · 09/03/2011 19:37

How are things, living?

livinginthesticks · 09/03/2011 19:49

I'm ok but still bothered by it all. I am certain it was a prank call not a real company. I can't think of anyone who would do it or anyone who is pissed off with me apart from the man I was seeing so I am assuming it was him. Yes, it was not a good thing I did - tell him I was having 2nd thoughts and then sleep with him. His reaction to me keeping him up was very over the top and I have heard nothing from him since so I am assuming he is still very angry.

OP posts:
IngridBergmann · 09/03/2011 20:53

His reaction wasn't about that, he was pissed off because you had told him he didn't turn you on. He just wanted any small reason to turn it around so it was HIM not fancying YOU, instead of the other way round which was just too upsetting for him to consider [bless] Grin

That's why he went over the top. Saving face. He can then pretend that he is very attractive to you and all women, and in fact it was your own problems that caused HIM to end the relationship with YOU and definitely not the other way round Smile

Stop worrying and forget about him. The only thing he is angry about is not being fancied by you. He'll get over it but you are best leaving him to it as he will need to quietly seethe for several months at least.

You cannot help him now. Sorry it ended this way and I hope your next chap is a bit more suitable.

IngridBergmann · 09/03/2011 20:55

By the way - why DID you sleep with him after telling him you didn't really fancy him enough?

Was it an experiment to see if it could just about work between you? I'm genuinely interested, not being funny. I'm sure I've done similar in the past.

livinginthesticks · 09/03/2011 20:59

I really wanted a relationship with him to work and I wanted to fancy him. I felt that if I kept sleeping with him it would eventually happen but it didn't and I didn't fancy him any time I slept with him.

OP posts: