Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.3

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Night night tinky winky

God knows Rom I mean I get all the take marriage seriously but forced mediation... it'll be like HIPS packs for selling houses an ill conceived 5 minute wonder

No seriously I think its very patronising and I wonder who will be paying for it as well

One thing I dont need to worry about tg

If you read that backwards in a mirror Pink it says "Hooray for all dumplings!" :)
Getting - I agree - how can mediation work when the partner is abusive? Or when the partner has run off with someone else and couldn't give a shite? The government must think that all divorces are just because two lovely people have frankly grown apart and so what is to do? Oh, have a nice little chat and everything will be fine. They are not living in the real world!

Thank goodness I'm not married . Okay, okay, so I don't have the same financial rights but seeing as XP could go bankrupt at any moment that doesn't seem like such a bad deal .
I've been busy looking at whether I can afford to reduce my hours to 3 shifts per fortnight and I think I can. It's the closest I've ever been to a SAHM and whilst it might only be sustainable for a couple of years I really think it's the right thing to do. DS is my last child and I've worked since I was 18 (nearly 30 years ) and you know, I really think I deserve a break. After all the shitty shite I've had to put up with I'm going to start putting me first. Occasionally .
If Pink is Tinky Winky, can I be the noo noo?

Well spotted Googoo !

When there was talk of me an xh having mediation i told my sol that there was no way on God's green earth that I would EVER sit in a room with him so she said that we could do it in 2 rooms, me and my sol in one and him and his sol in the other and even then I was terrified for weeks beforehand of even being in the same building as him and the thought kept me awake night after night. Thank fuck it was avoided in the end as I told my sol as I was distraught in her office that I'd have to be sedated and dragged there kicking and screaming and was in such a bad emotional state. I even wrote her a long deranged tear stained letter saying that I would take my own life before ever being in a room with him again.

I don't know how they can take it upon themselves to force couples to have mediation, it could be so very distressing and damaging to the injured party, as it would have been to me. The very thought of remembering all that makes me shake, it was so awfull, I'm so glad I got through it but I really had to stand my ground.

Romney, I don't have early nights so to speak, I just adore watching tv in bed more than anything else in the whole world, I always have done .

Good idea ET - you bloody deserve it love
And yes, of course you can be Noo Noo
Can I please be Kate Moss?

Elsie that was earmarked for me as hooverer of all food

God Pink. Hate to sound dim but wouldnt being in 2 rooms have defeated the point . Lovely to think all thats in the past though and what you have been through but now you are more or less out the other side .

I want a TV in my bedroom never had one , want one

Lovely little pleasures Pink that you can now indulge in without feeling guilty, good for you. I must admit everyone keeps telling me the ipad is ideal for watching iplayer from the comfort of your bed! Maybe I will have to purchase one!

Hate to lower the tone here but I really, really need a good night of lovin'! Even more than a TV!

Kate Moss ?

OK can I be Kristen Scott Thomas or Juliette Binoche then ? Or the female baddie in Tomorrow Never Dies ?

ipad oh god I want one sooooooo much, Rom are you getting one ?

A night of loving ? Sigh who knows when that will be. At least you have date Goo and with someone with manual dexterity

I'm too tired for tv in bed at night but I've started watching Frasier on C4 when I get dressed each morning. It used to be Sky sports news and 5 live on the radio. Can someone just remind me why I thought I was missing XP???

Getting, it would have been the sols talking to us seperately in our rooms and and then going out into the corridor periodically to discuss. It would have been awkward, expensive and time consuming. In the event I had to take the bastard to court anyway.

A telly in the bedroom is one of life greatest joys imo, especially as I never had one as a child, so to me it's still a novelty.

Elsie, good for you with reducing your hours, Im sure it is a very good move to spend more time with your son.

Getting I really am thinking about treating myself to one, but looked at the samsung galaxy tab while in the US last week and that looks really good too so a bit mixed as to which one to treat myself too.

Goo not at that stage yet of wanting some loving, Im sure I will if I meet the right man! Lower the tone as much as you like.

haha! manual dexterity. I bloody hope so!

Oh forgot to say I really must try and remember to sign up for the evening college course I want to do, starts on 26th April so must call tomorrow. See ladies I am trying hard to get my life back on track.

I've got an iPad. My NM gave it me for my birthday :)
It rocks.

One of those really tiring afternoon and evenings - when you just don't stop running round after the dc. I felt I was a bit tough on them tonight but I am doing more hours in work and really need them not to just drop toys, food, plates, sweet wrappers, school bags, books and felt tips wherever they like for me to pick up!

But I think I'm starting to convince them!

What ???

He gave you an ipad ???

Utter

Ooh Kate your NM sounds like a good one, hows it going?

Rom - sounds great! What are you doing?
Kate - wowza! Are you still seeing him? I thought you'd finished things.

Goo I think he got a second chance after buying her an ipad

Goo doing a silversmith course, (obviously only basic stuff) but it is something I have always wanted to do since I was about 16 but never had the time or inclination to actually sign up.

Sorry Rom had ipads before my eyes missed that

You sound like a different woman , a bit tentative maybe but very different and like a dumpling who is very ready to be on this thread so nice to see. I hope the worst of your journey is over

We talked - told him I wasn't interested in playing games so we gave it another go..he's been single for 5 yrs so very used to his own ways and routines. It's the best of both worlds really, he lives about 50 miles away so I only see him one night in the week (when the girls stay with TB) and every other weekend. We talk a couple of times a day and it's nice to have that contact. It's relaxed and unpressured and it suits us both ATM.

Have to say - the weekends are divine, he has a nice top floor apartment / flat...he doesn't do clutter...so it's like going to a hotel! I have my own bathroom when I'm there :) and I've never actually been out with anyone who has been able to spend money on me...so we go out to eat and he pays and buys me flowers and pressies. Which I hope doesn't sound shallow cos I'm not impressed by those things but...do feel like I deserve to be treated nicely and not feel guilty! (Been a mum since I was 20 - which completley changes your focus doesn't it?) and I have been treated like crap by Tossbag.

I also like to tweet what nice things I'm up to with NM as Tossbag has said "I started looking at your twitter and now I can't stop" and I know he hates that I've moved onwards and upwards and am being treated the way he was never able to...and in a way he won't be able to treat his gf/OW.

And if it sounds like I'm gloating to ex - remember this was the man who told me last week that me working PT while we were together so I could be with our children was 'my lifestyle choice" and hence I wouldn't be getting 50% of any equity on the sale of the house.

Well, lookie here Mister...see the 'lifestyle' choice I'm making now? Looks pretty good huh? While you look like crap, are missing out on your girls lives and now you are worrried about your job security....hmm well I guess it does refelct badly on your position that you interviewed her then bedded her.

K.A.R.M.A.

LOL ladies! just to be clear...he had already given me the iPad before our mini break!!!! :)

Top banana I say! :)
Jealous of your sex life Kate. Hoping a manually dextrous man can soon give me similar!!!