Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.3

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

The gf texted me that I was the grown up and should start acting like one.that really made me realise how young these girls are,they dont see themselves as adults.I replied she was an adult and if not what does that make my X.They knew that they were jumping into a fire and they knew they could jump out at anytime.

Hello everyone,
It beggars belief that some men think it is ok not to support their children when these ditsy ow come on the scene. i'd run a mile from a man with kids who didn't pay up. Funny how the worm turns too when you can manage to act/speak of the ow in civil terms. Poor guys find it so confusing. If I had a tenner for every woman who speaks of her new man's x as 'a psycho' or a 'physio' haha Patience, I'd be so rich! Even my pal who got together with her dh years after he split with his wife and kids still says 'she's really unstable you know' and give examples of batty but normal things that anyone would do on a bad day.
I can't believe a removal van is arriving tonight at 7pm! I'm all over the place. I called round to see my lovely neighbours who wished me luck etc and then said and wish x goodluck too. So i took a breath and said- he's not coming, you will see him coming and going to the house- they looked genuinely surprised so I waved bye bye then opened my door burst in and wept for a bit.
I'll do the neighbours on the other side before the removal van comes tonight! The devil is in the detail!
Anyway all you fine dumplings who have kept my head bobbing above water for the last 5 months.

Take care and I'll be in touch when I get kitted out with broadband in N Ireland.

Ah big hugs Maybee ,got my broadband and its mega fast !!!!!
Spoke to X this morning and he said he was going to have to work away to try and clear off debt.I didnt really say much but said i was glad he was sorting himself out and clearing off his debt.
He said he appreciates that he pissed all his money away last year but depression affects people in different ways .
As long as you know these guys will never take responsibility for themselves and their actions
you can laugh at their selfish justification of their party lifestyle.He was in the boozer partying on chatting up gf FFS.Only depressing bit is he ran out of money.Ran up huge phonebills chatting her up and didnt pay our rent.All the lies ,deception and shite i have put up with ,yet he's the one thats depressed .OMG ,good luck to dumb and dumber ,denial seems to be Xs permanent destination ATM.

I think the thing is that we arent bothered about OW ,but they will always be bothered by us ,see it as a competition etc. very insecure or they wouldnt be rescuing older men in the first place ,we will always have had their man first ,had kids with them,we will always be their missus, not gf (even when we have moved on our men will always see us as the missus).We will know them better than them.Our Xs being with them repulses us ,but when we were sleeping with our Xs these women saw it as a turn on and a competition.Well she can enjoy her prize !!

That's it Patience. Spot on.

And Patience we had the best of them -when they were happy, together and better looking!

OWs are settling for second best for life!

And yes the US sites show figures for the success of relationships after affairs. They reckon that only 10% of affairs lead to a long term relationship/marriage and of those they are subject to the normal marriage break down figurs ie maybe 40%.

So an affair has 6% chance of a solid long term relationship! Great odds!

Grrr, lost long post.

Aye good luck to them mf,I just keep thinking of the poor women that r still in the dark about sleazy hubby s that's " just not happy anymore "
Ie can't be arsed looking after young kids and was flattered someone chatted him up in the pub/ office and was his shoulder to cry on.pmsl where the fuck do these women come from? uve got to laff at them ,they are such sad weak bitches they believe all the shite he tells them .

Oh yeah OW believed every word, I was the evil women from hell and he was the saint

Off to bed in a sec in the hope that DS's jack in the box shenanigans won't be so painful if I'm earlier to bed tonight.

Hi girlies, I'm back
It's been a tough few months but I think I'm kind of getting there. No more self harming incidents as tempting as it has been.
My ex introduced the kids to his new girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. I had a massive panic attack over it and don't really know how yo feel about it all.
Anyway I hope you are all well xxx

Oh that's great news QC re ur health,
Hope ur ok starting x
Tea ,I didn't know my X was such a bitch tbh.

Hi everyone. Managed to get home eventually after parents' evening - got another one on Thursday tomorrow I'm at a meeting then running a training afternoon, Friday night I'm off to a hotel to do more work. Then meeting the girls from exbf's village for a cuppa in town. I sent them all an email and they all replied, even the girl who I thought wasn't speaking to me - she apologised for not texting and said she has been so busy trying to secure funding for her art. So I'm meeting them all. They were all really nice in their emails and said that I was always welcome to stay at theirs if I want to come to the village. Not that I do. Had to laugh at exbf's friend who is so busy with her art. If she had to live ou lives for just one hour she's collapse lolol.
Tea - think it's a good idea to move churches if the smaller one is friendly and more relaxed - you want it to be an enjoyable family experience and not be on edge about the kids doing what all kids do. Love the story about your dd hugging a lady - sounds like a really good place! Glad you're over the man incident. You really are lovely and any bloke worth his salt would be proud to have you girl x
Can't get over your exh's OW. These young gfs really show their immaturity re children. So she's encouraging him not to see the kids because her mates all had dead beat dads who didn't see them. Oh that's alright then. She sounds nasty tbh. Even when I was young and daft I would NEVER have encouraged a bf of mine who had kids not to see them. Your exh sounds like a good dad in many ways and I think that she's not doing herself any favours by going down this route. Trouble is, our exes have now got other women and if they leave the OW they are on their own, they aren't going to get us back, we are sailing towards serentiy so what do they do? Sad really - I would rather be in my position than clinging on to a bunny boiler or wee lassie because I need my narc fix. Sorry - I'm feeling a bit warrior like this evening :) Good job - had a couple of down days but enjoying single life and all its possibilities more and more now.
Maybee - lots of love - hardest bit saying goodbye - you will be in Ireland for St Patrick's Day! Hope you can keep in touch when you get there - thinking of you a lot at the moment x
Patience - glad you are still strong and positive - knew you would be - you've come a long way baby - no stopping us now eh?!!!! x
QC - lovely to hear from you - glad you are keeping strong. Hopefully see more posts from you here - let it all out on here x
Kate - love the "laughing like a drain" - you crack me up!
Funny that you know - my exbf had me believing that his ex was mad bitch from hell. Not so sure now. She was trying to hold down a full time job, two young boys, no financial help from him and a mortgage. And she stuck up for herself with him and didn't stroke his ego. Sound pretty sane to me. Plus in the 5 years they've split up he's had about 7 gf, all of whom have met the kids. Know what I would think of that if my exh did that You live and learn eh?

Ha ha Patience, they can have our sloppy seconds. Although Mumfun puts it rather more eloquently .

Maybee, bon voyage. Hope it all goes ok tomorrow.

Tea, hope you are sweetly dreaming right now.

Last appointment with my lovely counsellor today. I know what the answers are. Not sure if I always apply them but I know what I should be doing. Very quick turnaround and I am sure that is because of you wonderful lot. Obviously, there is a long way to go. Only 9 months down the line but...9 whole months!!! Can't believe I'm still here and feeling so much better than those first few horrible weeks .

Hello to Getting, Starting, GGM, Kate, Happy, Sov, QC and everyone else in the whole world. Feeling generous tonight . I'll even include ow - good luck to you love and all who sail in you .

Just something gf texted me that weekend ggm.
" same old patience ,never takes the blame for anything,its never ur fault."
Where did she get that from i wonder.

I think u find that kind of stuff hurtful to begin with until u realise they must have so many ,"you'll never guess what she s done this time" conversations about me that its laughable.

X post GGM, how do you do it? I feel sooo old and knackered but this is second time around for me doing the single parent thing. I had a very responsible job when I was on my own with dd and ds1 but I just can't be arsed now. Hats off to you for all your hard work. Hope you have a lovely weekend, you deserve it.

Mmm, I have the bed to myself tonight and the sheets are freshly laundered. I've had a glass of wine and I'm very tired. I may still be here 12 hours hence. Ooh, wouldn't that be lovely? No chance .

Patience, what can one say? There is just no answer to their nonsense. Did you hear they are making a sequel to Dumb and Dumber? I kid you not!

Morning

Googoo thats great you are meeting the village girls and they were so friendly

Patience how can you tolerate her texting you ? Jeez ask her if she hasnt got better things to do than be texting you ffs.

Elsie lol at the ship joke . Indeed detachment and serenity is rather fabulous isnt it

QC welcome back the dc and ow mix is very hard to get your head around but like everything else you do in the end

Well I am on a mad high still ever since my road to Damascus moment on sunday and getting through chores like a knife through butter

Apart from maths not doing much so think I will start sorting out xhs stuff. Told him I would like the rest of his personal belongings gone this week and I think I will get stuff down from the loft so he can just come in take stuff from an orderly pile and leave.

Have a good day everyone

no getting texts only happened that one weekend 3 weeks ago when i had found out lol.
what i meant was all she was doing was repeating what X always says to me in an argument .

never ur fault is it ?
AND
start paying ur own way ?

she is a pt waitress that lives at home with her mammy lol never paid her way in her life .well maybe for her fags and booze.

Anyway got all lawyers stuff in today not emotional at all which is fab,just want him to agree to maintenance and then file for divorce.Away to fill in forms then hand them back to lawyer.

Enjoy ur day out with girls of the village ggm but dont go picking any xbf scabs ,they are healing nicely .
waves to Happy and Starting hope ur both cool x

Happy losing posts is annoying .. how are you ? I do hope you are mangaging to get to grips with all the divorce paperwork it really is worth it

Sov hope the dc are recovered now and back at school

Starting hows the tooth ? I hope there havent been any outbursts from xh

Patience do you think that was serious about him not paying anything in the future or just a drunken rambling ?

Meant to say have given up cigs for a week now and determined to stick with it, Have only had a few cravings tbh

Getting nothing would surprise me anymore but finished my forms so will have to wait and see if he accepts the offer or not.he previously agreed by letter re maintenance and seperation dates re divorce proceedings,but that means nothing legally.

Waves to all........

Have quickly read t hread but am on way to college so will catch up properly later. Lots more drama & visits to dentist re teeth. To make a long painful story short I now have a big hole at the back of my mouth & am minus one tooth. I have regained faith in dentist & am hopeful that I am near the end of the road with this!

Getting well done on cigs

Patience well done on serenity

ET, hope you enjoyed the rest

QC, glad to see you back & really pleased that things are getting somewhat easier for you ((Hugs))

Sov, hope things have gotten easier for you too & that dc's have all recovered

Goo, hope you have a fab w'end with women from the village

Maybees, thinking of you today & wishing you every success & happiness in your new home ((Hugs))

Tea, new church sounds lovely

Waves to Happy, Pink, Mumfun & anyone I've overlooked in my haste!!

OK off I go!

Quick post. Just want to say to those of you who recall why I felt I had to namechange in January that my suspicions were correct. XP was definitely reading my posts on MN.

Well done on the cigs, Getting.

Was he really? Yuck. So glad you name changed

Hello all. Yes, yuck ET. Hi Tea.
Oh, bit low today. I'm sure exbf is seeing this pipe woman and I'm a bit sad. Feel ugly at moment and a bit rundown :(